Excerpt: Zombie Host Boys of the Dotonbori

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” the Queen whispered, huddling next to Hiko in the alley behind the club. “I mean, aren’t they expecting us to do this?”

“Maybe,” Hiko said. “But it’s still worth doing. They don’t know the extent of my resources, or powers. So we should be fine.”

“Should doesn’t really put me at ease, you know,” the Queen hissed. “After all, you can just leave Osaka if things get too hairy for you. Me? They know where I live.”

Hiko shrugged. “You’re welcome to come to my hideout,” she said. “I mean, it’s not like I don’t have plenty of room. And we could plan more safely together than over the internet.”

“I have a job, I can’t just miss days of work!” the Queen replied in a hushed voice. “’So sorry, I can’t come in today. My zombie host boy ex-boyfriend is trying to kill me and take over Osaka.’ Yeah, I’m sure that’ll fly really well. Especially with the S&M club.”

“Hey, you could have chosen a different night job,” Hiko said. “All right, let’s creep across here. Look in any windows, and take pictures of anything that you find interesting.”

Hiko crawled along first, looking into any windows she came across. At the darkened ones, she stopped to take a picture, and with the lit ones, she carefully peered in. As they approached the second lit window, Hiko paused.

“What is it?” the Queen asked.

“I was just thinking I should put on my mask,” she said. Twisting her hair up, Hiko pulled the mask out of the bag on her belt, and pulled it on. It took her a moment to adjust to the strange light filter. With Toby’s help, she had updated the mask’s eyepieces and replaced the fabric with a light shield that shaded her eyes, but also gave her better vision.

“This isn’t fair,” the Queen said. “You have all the cool toys and gadgets. What about me?”

“You’ve got that super powered riding crop,” Hiko said. “It was nice of Toby to give you that. You did bring it with you, yes?”

“Yeah, I wasn’t about to leave my only weapon behind,” she said. “I tried it out the other day. Even a light tapping breaks the ground.”

“I was wondering why the street outside your apartment was destroyed,” Hiko said. “All right, I’m looking in this next window.”

Carefully peering into the window, Hiko froze. Two young men were on a couch together, their arms around each other’s bodies. Hiko gulped, and raised her camera to take a picture as the men kissed each other, slowly. Hiko wasn’t really the type to get creepy and voyeuristic, but the young men on the couch were extremely hot.

And she was thinking about how this would sell like hot cakes on the internet. Also, it would make great reference material for her next book.

“Did you find something good?” The Queen asked. Hiko nodded, but kept her back. She didn’t want the Queen to see what she was watching.

“Y-yes,” Hiko replied. Switching the camera settings to video. “But, uhh, stay back. If they see me, they’ll just think I’m a creeper with a camera. If they see you, well, the gig is up.”

Glad that the Queen couldn’t see the probable leer on her face, Hiko watched as the two young men, possibly discovering the joys of each other’s bodies for the first time, started to undress each other. Thoughts in her head went straight to the dialogue that she’d have to write for the story, but the imagery was lovely, at least. The man on the right pulled away briefly, and stroked his lover’s hair, carefully petting the teased and hair-sprayed to perfection coif of brownish hair.

Hiko was starting to wish that Rhole was there to see. But it would have been too dangerous to bring a civilian into this mess. It was bad enough that the Queen was there, but Rhole as well? She couldn’t just start handing out super powered toys to all her friends. Or, she could, but Hiko was certain that the Group or Toby would start making her pay for it after a point.

“What are you doing?” the Queen asked. “Surely you can’t—Oh my god. Hiko!” The Queen looked furious, and glared at Hiko as she saw what was going on. “They’re zombies! That’s gross!”

Hiko cringed, and waved at her friend to calm down. “They’ll hear you!” Hiko said, cringing.

“Hiko they are zombies. And you’re . . . filming them making out! That’s necro! And disgusting!”

“Well,” Hiko said, sheepishly, her camera still filming what she herself was not looking at, “Maybe this is how new zombies are made.”

“Two guys cannot create life, Hiko!”

“Shh! And I know that,” Hiko replied. “But maybe they can create un-life?”

“Hiko, that is oddly homophobic and offensive,” the Queen said.

“It is not. They are zombie gay men. Maybe they are exploring their zombie sexuality for the first time,” Hiko said. “Think, Queen! I’m filming what no woman has seen before!”

“I’m sure many women have seen hot men make out and—uhh, well, it seems give each other blow jobs,” the Queen said, peering over her friend’ shoulder. “Hot damn, that’s big for a Japanese guy. Maybe they aren’t dead?”

“No, they are zombies, I’m sure,” Hiko said. “The hair, and the way that the one guy is crushing it with his hands as the other guy sucks him—can we continue this conversation later?”

“No!”

“Dammit,” Hiko said. “Fine. The hair remains perfect, despite what they are doing to each other—ohhh I think these two are going to go all the way.”

“Well, at least we’ve learned zombies can get it up, then,” the Queen replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“See?” Hiko said. “What I am doing, I do for science!”