The room was spinning. The final page of the journal had been written. He had enough energy to turn the light off. He got into his bed. He pulled the cover up and lay down. A sick feeling over came him as he waited. There was a smug smile on his face. He was excited about this. He was excited about tomorrow. He thought he had just done the impossible. He made time stop. For tomorrow, he assured himself would never come.
The journal had read, “I hate these stupid notes. As if one could ever expect to sum up one’s life and worries in a few sentences. Then you have those who wish to analyze the few sentences try and figure out a reason. Does one need a reason? Is a reason necessary? Is it not my right to do what I want with my life, even if it means ending it? I can’t even begin to imagine the pain that I have caused by this. But… in a way… it’s better. How much pain have I caused? At least this will be the last bit of pain I could ever possibly cause. Never again having to deal with unintentionally hurting someone else or being hurt myself. I made promises, those of which I could not keep. The best anyone can do now is move on and forget. Forget about the uneventful life of an unimportant kid. To everyone I hurt, I do apologize, though I am not sure what an apology could ever do. Do not blame yourselves, this was my choice and the decision was clear… to end it all. Goodbye.”
Thinking about the note, he soon fell asleep for potentially the last time. On the side of the bed it was evident of what had occurred. A bottle of sleeping pills, an empty bottle of vodka, and a razor. Around his head was a plastic bag. If the loss of blood wouldn’t kill him, then maybe the overdose of sleeping pills, and if that didn’t work the alcohol would have it’s way with him. If all else fails, he would end up suffocating. A notable death for such an unnotable person.

....................
The three were lost in this amazingly beautiful scene. Every step they took, they heard the impact of the snow. It was a light crunch sound that was delightful to the ear. The trees were bear. They were cold but they would survive waiting to be clothed by the spring. There were no animals. No children playing. It was obvious there were many, but had to go inside before dark, possibly enjoying hot cocoa and just having a wonderful time. Winter might represent death, but death is just an end and with every end there is a beginning. That’s what the boy had found. The end of a time. The beginning of something knew. Where it would go no one could be quite sure. What was certain was the future held much for the boy and all his friends.
Well the trio had finally reached Amanda’s house. It was a little town house. She had shared it with several other people. Amanda had wanted to move out for a long time, but she had nowhere to go. The boy wanted to be able to help her, but he was in no position to help anyone, even himself. He had just moved thousands of miles from his family, with no job he would soon have to figure out something to do with his life.
The fact that the boy was there made things slightly more complicated and the fact Chris was there for a week made things a disaster. Amanda had to go work, and the boy had to try and find a job. Chris for the most part just chilled, which definitely was not needed while the two tried to get their lives together. There was another slight problem that would rear its ugly head from time to time. Amanda had a boyfriend in Ohio.
Well soon Chris’s time had come, he would have to leave soon. It wasn’t that he was unwelcome; he just did not help the situation. Amanda and the boy constantly fought over trivial things. Chris would even be the cause of some fights. It was weird, the two had fought like this before, but it if he didn’t know better the boy would have said Amanda was trying to push him away.
“Chris has to go.” Amanda said.
“He is going, remember he’s leaving in two days!” The boy replied.
“What about you? You can’t stay here, it just isn’t working.”
“It doesn’t help Chris is here now does it?”
“You don’t understand, I can’t stay here.”
“So we’ll find someplace new…”
“Look… just think about the situation as a whole for a while ok?”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t worry about it…” the argument soon ended. That was one of many arguments that they had that did not necessarily amount or even mean anything. It was the night before Chris was supposed to leave when things got particularly rough.
“Dude come on let’s go do something!” Chris said.
“I’m trying to find a job here, I can’t have Amanda support me. This is only a temporary state remember?” The boy said.
“You do realize I’m leaving soon and we won’t see each other for a while right?”
“You do realize I am low on cash and that Amanda seriously needs help.”
“Dude she has a boyfriend, remember? This is only temporary!”
“So what’s your point? I’m here in the meantime.”
“Dude, we both know what your actual goal is here, you have to get over her.”
“Look whatever dude, I’ve got stuff to do. I’m going to try for this freelance writing position.”
“You’ve never done anything like that in your entire life!”
“What’s your point? It’s quick money.”
“If you do it right…”
“What?”
“Dude you can’t expect to be doing this as a living!”
“Yes I can!”
“Dude, Amanda… she has a boyfriend, nothing good will come of this, I promise you.”
“Whatever dude, why don’t you just back off while I try and earn some cash.”
“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You can’t manage this, look the truth…”
“The truth is your leaving with Chris tomorrow.” Amanda had stepped in on the conversation.
“What are you talking about?” The boy was confused…
“You can’t stay here, this is not where you belong. You need to go home and live with your parents that’s were you belong.”
“What are you talking about? I belong here I’ll make it, I’ll make it with you.”
“That’s where your wrong, my boyfriend is actually moving here for school, I finally convinced him to come here and do something with his life. We’re moving in together next week. Don’t you understand? You can’t handle this. Look at yourself; it’s only been six days and you a mess. I love the fact you want to keep your promises, you want to be with me, you want to do good, you just can’t. It’s important for you to go back with your parents and figure out what to do with your life there. Your still only a child…” With those words the boy looked and ran out the door. Amanda stepped to try and do something when Chris stopped her.
“He’ll be ok, we both knew this would happen. Let’s just stay here and wait for him.”
“It’s cold out and he’s only wearing a shirt!”
“He’ll be fine you need to understand that.”
“But…” Chris just stared deeply into Amanda who resigned herself and went to her room leaving Chris to get ready to search for the boy.
He ran. He couldn’t think of anything else he could do. What else was there? He hoped, he prayed he had a chance with her. He gave up a lot to be with her. He was always there for her. When she needed to cry about something, no matter how pathetic he would listen. He couldn’t take it. He should have known. For every good there is a bad. Things were going seemingly too well; nothing ever goes well for him. He wondered how things could possibly get worse.
As he ran he sweated. He ran so fast and hard that he began to break out in sweat and get tired. He had actually made his way into some woods. He did not even realize where he was running, so when he opened his tear filled eyes he was in shock to see that he was in the middle of the woods. The woods were dark and damp. The trees had reached into the sky obscuring the dark gray sky. He had stopped to rest against a tree and catch his breath. It was strange, for woods so near streets he was in fairly deep.
That’s when he felt it, the air. The air went from a comforting cool wind as he remembered from his childhood, to a dark bitter evil. It bit at him every chance it got. He sat up against a tree trying to warm himself up. It was strange, for a second he actually got really hot. He was getting so hot he had to take off his long sleeve shirt leaving him with only a thin black undershirt. He sat down in the cold. He hugged his knees and the snow slowly started to cover his body. That’s when he felt it, the cold again. He did not have the energy to get up. His body was fighting, trying to keep him awake, he could not help it. That’s when he suddenly stopped shivering, stopped feeling the cold, he stopped fighting. He closed his eyes, but soon he saw a dark figure approach it looked much like one he had seen in the past, it was just unfortunate he did not have the energy to fight…
She knew Chris had set out to find him. It was unfortunate that he had not known most of the area, or the boy as well as she did. She put on her heaviest coat and had set out to find him. She could only think to herself how this wasn’t supposed to happen. His parents set this up with her and Chris just a few weeks before; it was made up to look like a surprise from all parties. But it was known well in advance that the stay was temporary and Christ would come so he could make sure the boy came back. It backfired so fast that it seemed impossible.
She started to run. If she knew him at all, he would go were it was dark and there was solitude. The worst part of that thought process was the fact it was the end of December and dark solitude could certainly mean death especially with the weather how it was. As she left to find him, it had slowly begun to snow and the wind blew harshly. As she ran the snowfall went from a light flurry to a heavy blizzard. She could barely see in front of her and with him in only a light shirt he could not possibly survive for long. All she could do was run when she saw footprints running into the woods…
Chris had to find him. He knew the boy was in no shape for anything. He knew how the boy would get at times like this, and it was quite dangerous. He soon became upset with himself for never helping the boy like he should have. Like so many other people, he just ignored the fact he attempted suicide so many times. He could only pray for him as he ran through the blizzard, that’s when he saw Amanda entering some woods. Chris had gotten upset thinking how he told her to stay at home and he would handle it.
“So it’s finally coming together.” The cloaked figure said in his office.
“This is not right and you know it!” The man said.
“You said you would watch him, you failed. Now things go my way.”
“Here’s the problem, I don’t work for you anymore.”
“True, but you can’t stop what is already in progress.”
“WHAT?”
“That’s right, the gears are turning, he will soon die then …” The man swung his sword up to the figure’s throat.
“I know exactly what happens then. Unfortunately for you, you forgot an important piece in this entire plan of yours.”
“Yes and what would that be?”
“Me.”
Amanda looked at the boy sitting lifeless in the snow. He was completely unconscious. The cold had gotten to him. She ran up to him as fast he she could. Amanda had seen he was completely blue and severely frostbitten. She took the boy’s hand and felt it. It was cold, colder then anything she had ever felt before. It was as if death itself had touched him. She put her jacket on the boy and tried to warm him up. He was completely unresponsive. A tear rolled down Amanda’s cheek. She went in to give one final kiss on his cheek. As her warm red lips touched his cheeks, the boy suddenly jumped up and pushed Amanda out of the way on what appeared to be a shadowy figure.
“Amanda… run… now…” The boy spoke breathing heavily.
“I refuse to, I can’t leave you, look at you, I won’t, and I can’t leave you… please…” Amanda replied not even aware of the immediate threat.
“Go… please… run…” The boy could not fully express his words as he slowly collapsed to the ground.
The air was still. The wind had stopped blowing. It was as though nature was in expectation of something happening. What it could have been was anyone’s guess. The boy stood slowly. The snow continued to fall gently. Unlike the figures he had seen before, the boy was sure this one was different. He was unsure of why, but he knew deep down it was different. The boy stood, trembling at the sheer cold. All his actions, including his breathing had slowed incredibly. The fact he was alive at that point was a miracle in and of itself.
The figure stood there and laughed. Amanda was unresponsive just staring at the defenseless boy. The boy wanted her to leave so badly, he wanted her to be safe, to be away, to be happy. That was all he ever wanted for Amanda. For her to be happy. If it meant being happy without him, then that would be a wish he would gladly grant to her. He summoned all his strength and power, power he did not realize he even had and ran to Amanda. He would drag her out if he had to. Before he even got close there was blood on the ground.
There was a loud bang. As the boy turned he looked Amanda straight in the eyes when he was shot. The figure had a gun and intended to kill the boy. He stood there. Eyes widening. There was another blast. One in the leg, another in the arm. The boy stood there looking at Amanda. Amanda looked at the boy in utter fear. She saw the blood surrounding the boy, the wound the struck the boy down. Another shot. Right through the side. The boy collapsed on his knees. Tie had slowed. The figure walked slowly closer. Putting bullet after bullet into a different part of the boy.
All the boy could do was whisper to Amanda “I… I… I’m… sor…” That was all the boy could get in before he collapsed.
Amanda ran up to the barely conscious boy, as the figure stood smiling. Two more figures appeared. It had seemed he was being shot at from different points. Three figures there to finish him off. The boy blinked wile on his knees. He saw one figure aiming for the head walking closer. This would have finished him off, if Amanda had not gotten in the way. Suddenly the three strangers unloaded their clips on Amanda who stood up and protected the boy with her own life. The boy’s eyes opened wide. Amanda collapsed.
“I… I… I’m the one… who should… be… sorry. I… lov…” Another shot before Amanda could finish her sentence.
There he was. With Amanda. They were lying in bed together. Amanda looked over to him. She smiled. He smiled back. She touched him and fiddled with his hair. A tear rolled down his face out of sheer joy. This was it. This was were they were meant to be, happy with each other. In their own house, away from it all. It was everything he promised her and more. The two then hugged. She kissed him. He woke up. Amanda lay dead in his numb arms.
The boy looked at the girl now dead in his arms. The boy cried out in pain. He heard the laughing of the figures as he stood up. He felt something he never felt before, a power inside himself. An anger, a pain, a sorrow that gave him energy. As if nothing had happened he stood up and walked slowly towards the three. The three watched in amazement. The three continued firing upon the boy. Each shot hit directly, not doing anything. When he got up to them and stared directly at them, he blanked out…