Excerpt: To Be Young, Rich, and Totally Without a Clue

Ralph sunk into the middle of the couch, cradling his laptop between his knees. He stared at the screen, where a couple of lines at the top of the screen were the only spots on a blank white page. "OK, my latest spy novel, T.R. Starr, international man of mystique, is going to infiltrate the Indian embassy in New Delhi, along with his drop dead gorgeous spy on the inside, Jane, the most beautiful woman in India. I know this is going to be a best seller," he said aloud.

Then his fingers froze in a position in which they were ready to pounce on the keyboard. But, his mind drew a blank as to what kind of adventure he was going to unload from his imagination onto the printed page. He racked his mind for inspiration. There was his dream last night, but that involved giant tomatoes dancing around a house shaped like a giant double hamburger. That wasn't any help. Why couldn't he dream of a harem of exotic women or something like that? Then he might be able to become a best-selling suspense novelist?

Ralph drummed his fingers along the keyboard. Perhaps he could describe the incredible beauty of Jane, his super-smart yet very friendly heroine, the way he had always imagined his dream girl to be: eyes like dark pearls, skin the color of tanned butter, a smile like a cheerleader, dark hair that flowed over the shoulders of her white skin-tight leather spy suit. But Ralph sighed. Jane probably wasn’t the kind of name that an Indian woman would have. He had only known one guy of Indian descent in his high school, and his name was Vijay. And calling her Jane made as much sense as trying to call his friend Bob or something like that.