Could you tell me what you think of this?

Thematically, I already love it. Keep that in mind for the rest of this post, because I do love it, but what follows is almost entirely (constructive!) criticism.

Plot-wise, the setup sounds like Equilibrium meets V for Vendetta. You'd need a great deal more sophistication than the former, of course, and a lot of everything the latter has to offer. But if you haven't already, take some time in the next 7 days to rent Equilibrium and read (or watch, but I strongly suggest reading) V for Vendetta. You have plenty of time if you get an early jump, and you can make notes of where you want to overlap, what you want to avoid, and what sounded like a good idea, at the time, but didn't really work out so well when it was actually done (there are a lot of those in Equilibrium).

Also, be careful what you go after vis-a-vis "modern psychiatry." You might want, more than anything, to go after modern parenthood. The old adage of "write about what you know" is especially critical for professional fields. Nothing undermines the credibility of satire more than spirited attacks against false premises.

Practically speaking, this might deserve more than a 30-day treatment - but if you're talking big to the challenge, lady, I dare you to pull this off.

When you say "not the slapstick kind," do you mean less laugh-out-loud absurdity and more snarky coffee-house over-thine-head ranting? I've seen the latter in enough college newspapers to know that it's particularly dangerous territory, as it can come off as both unfunny and snobbish. But do what you think in best...

Based on the description, I don't know where the humor would surface. It sure sounds like you could end up with a dark atmosphere and heavy, morbid irony, or possibly a National-Lampoon-ish farce (think Doon, the take-off on Herbert's Dune with the Mauve-bib and Kareem-Abdul Jabber). Just tread carefully, and if you're shooting for funny, don't shadow it up too much.

Happy writing!

Keith

"And the writers will not stop us
'cause the only love they'll find is paradise."
Seal, Future Love Paradise

That's what he said. I'm sure of it. And the girl with colitis goes by.

I like reading about societies that are only "Utopian" due to the populace being drugged off their arses. A couple of similar settings can be found in satires like Vonnegut's "Harrison Bergeron" (a short story) and Huxley's Brave New World. Happy plotting!

paraplegicnomad:

V for Vendetta is actually one of my favorite movies. (= I think I'll take your advice and read it.
When the idea first came to me, I was thinking about all of the portrayals of dystopia I'd come across, like V for Vendetta, 1984, Brave New World, Anthem and We. I want to incorporate elements of them all, but the main focus I described will be what sets my story apart from them. It's a huge challenge in that this has all been done so well before and all other accounts are just obsolete in comparison unless it's done just as well.

I've never heard of Equilibrium, however, and I'll definitely check that out.

And I'm pretty confident about the fact that I know what I'm talking about when it comes to psychiatry and its practices. I've witnessed a lot of things first- and second-hand, and I'm fairly disgusted by it. Which is more or less why I'm writing this novel.

For which I have all the more incentive to write because you've dared me to. (:

I like your idea of satirizing modern parenthood a lot though - I think I'll definitely bring that into play. Thanks a lot!

"When you say "Not the slapstick kind," do you mean less laugh-out-loud absurdity and more snarky coffee-house over-thine-head ranting?"

Actually, I meant something on the lines of "not all that humorous at all except for the rare instances of comic relief." It sort of annoyed me that satire couldn't count as a genre on its own and was coupled with humor & parody. I didn't want people to see that this was in the Satire, Humor, & Parody board and think that this was supposed to have a humorous turn to it.

Sorry for the misinterpretation, but thanks for the concern.

- niiiiiiiiiicolaaaaaaaa

Now I have two things to look into. (=
I didn't know Vonnegut had written anything like that. And I loveee Vonnegut.

Seriously I cried for six hours when I found out he died earlier this year ;-;

- niiiiiiiiiicolaaaaaaaa

I loooove it, as a heavily-medicated person myself. Kinda reminds me of 'Brave New World'. And anything is better with involvement of rebel figureheads. Or, really, just rebels. Even small ones, like guys who wear pink and aren't gay. (Blabbering tiem done nao.) So, uh, yeah, go for it!

(In agreement with previous posts, Vonnegut is awesome. And dead, as I did not know, which makes me sad.)

Oh. ;-;
I'm sorry to be the bearer of the bad news.
Ahhhhhhh.

I'm really glad that you like it though.
Now I wanna write it. But I can't. Because I have to wait. Until November. Aurghhhhhh!

I think I use onomotopeoia too frequently in Internet communication. -_-

- niiiiiiiiiicolaaaaaaaa

All I can say is this: don't go the way of Tom Cruise.

In fact, I see ample opportunity to use Tom Cruise as a further tool to elaborate your mocking . . .