Hello
I like the idea of deep third, but I"m not exactly sure how to write in this way.
Do you write in deep third or have any tips on how to do this?
Thank you
Aisling
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http://www.symbolicbridging.com/
http://www.aislingnano.wordpress.com/





4,200 / 50,000
oct. 31, 2009 - 00 39
Deep third takes a bit of practice but once you get into it you'll be doing it without even realizing it.
Essentially it simply means writing from within POV character's head - So even though you're using Third you're writing in his voice, using his mannerisms and perception to describe setting, other characters, as well as what he's thinking and feeling.
hmm I'm not sure I'm explaining this very well lol.
One Third POV:
John walked into the kitchen and looked around. It was the same as always except one thing, there was a woman standing over the stove and what she was cooking smelt delicious.
Two Third POV - Deep:
The smell of food got him first. One sniff and John's stomach growled for his attention and he walked into the kitchen. Mmm, yummy. His gaze immediately settled on the the woman standing over the stove. Long legs, nice butt, slim waist - He couldn't see her front, but he was willing to bet that it was impressive.
OKAY so they weren't exactly brooker prize winner pieces but you should see my point. in Deep POV you show the story in the way your POV character sees it.
lol I hope that was helpful :)
----------My Nano Blog
58,934 / 50,000
oct. 31, 2009 - 05 03
Just for clarification (I've never heard of 'deep third' before).
Is 'deep third' half-way between 'first person' - 'When I saw who it was in the kitchen, I knew I was in for trouble ... so I got out of there before she saw me', and 'third person' - 'When John saw who was in the kitchen he knew he'd better get out ... quick ... and he did.' Deep Third: 'John saw who was in the kitchen. I'm in trouble here, he thought, and slipped out again before she saw him'?
----------MJ
1,065 / 50,000
oct. 31, 2009 - 07 38
The last example you wrote follows similar rules to dialogue, so technically it's still third person. Deep third doesn't require "though" or "said"; it requires an immediate presence of the protagonist with a very subtle external narration. It's a very precise gray area, if that makes sense.
----------blog
Hi, I'm Alyssa.
58,934 / 50,000
oct. 31, 2009 - 08 46
Thanks for that. So, have I got this right?
What I wrote was:
'John saw who was in the kitchen. I'm in trouble here, he thought, and slipped out again before she saw him'?
Deep Third: 'John saw who was in the kitchen. I'm in trouble here. He slipped out again before she saw him'?
Does the 'interior monologue' bit stand on its own, rendering attribution unnecessary? Is it really as simple as this? Or have I missed the point?
----------MJ
35,019 / 50,000
oct. 31, 2009 - 10 02
I'd say a better example would be:
"John saw who was in the kitchen. He was in trouble here, so he slipped out again before she saw him."
The "trouble" in question doesn't necessarily exist anywhere other than in John's mind, but it's still there in the narration.
And if you're going to add first-person thoughts, you'll want to italicize them to avoid confusion.
----------6,890 / 50,000
nov. 6, 2009 - 20 06
A good example is Get Shorty by Elmore Leonard. Reads like 1st person but its 3rd.
40,248 / 50,000
nov. 7, 2009 - 11 51
Ive never heard of deep third but I think thats what Ive been writing in, or a combination of normal thrid and deep third. I like it because of the aspects of first person in there - it makes it more personal without actually being in first. Also, tends to be wordier which is fab for nano! :)
28,493 / 50,000
nov. 7, 2009 - 17 40
Hey, what do you know, I write in deep third. I just didn't know what it was called.
58,934 / 50,000
nov. 8, 2009 - 04 17
Thanks, August. I know it doesn't matter at all for Nano, but it's extremely useful for finer editing. I wonder though, if the story's rattling along, whether a reader would notice the writer sipping between third and deep third. Maybe it's best not to be too conscious of any minore changes.
----------MJ