Dear ________ (Author, Character, Muse, et cetera) part 2

Heehee, I love being the first to post something. XD

Dear Maria,
When I specifically start writing something in Frank\'s POV, don\'t randomly start with your POV. It\'s rude. I\'ve been writing a page of your POv when I was supposed to be writing Frank\'s and I\'ve decided even though you\'re supposed to be nice you are rude. Sometimes.
Love, the Author

---\"If you\'re a bird, I\'m a bird.\"---The Notebook---

Dear Lorica and Severia,
Please stop hatching insanely complicated plots that go over the head of my POV character. Poor Spera is a little lost. Also, pick a side and stay on it, dang it! Especially you, Severia, you were supposed to be my antagonist and now look at you! Now I need a new antagonist and my outline is almost completely inapplicable to the current state of things and several new characters have spawned out of nowhere! And it's all because you just had to be a reasonable human being!

Dear Muse and/or my horrifically bad memory,

I beg of you to stop messing with me. I do appreciate the ideas that are flitting into my head, but I'd appreciate if they'd linger long enough for me to actually incorporate them into my story instead of disappearing before they can be written.
Thank you.

Oh goody! I was wondering where this thread went.

Dear Anora,

Okay, you won for now. I am going to completely ignore all the plotting and planning I did for that scifi story I wanted to do, and attempt to write yours.

But here's the deal: you need to be constantly providing me with information about yourself, your world, and any other relevant characters that will come up because I have no idea where this is going. And I'm a little freaked out about it, truth be told. Otherwise, I'm going to push you to the back burner and forge ahead with that original story.

On the other hand, thanks soo much for being a first person narrator. It means I can ramble on and on about nothing in particular and not feel too guilty about it.

Regarding you warily,

Your author

To the cast of Back Again,

Sorry, but tough noogies. You want your story written you've gotta do what Anora did and take charge. Otherwise, wait until December.

Some love,

Your author

NaNo '07: The Devil's Advocate (fail)
NaNo '08: Dangerous Attraction (WON! 50,017)
NaNo '09: Back Again (sci-fi)

Dear Dian (and to a lesser extent, Adalee, Jaaren, and Sunny),

I am about to screw you over royally. And for this I apologize. Maybe we can find a grimy rainbow somewhere.

Seriously. Sorry, guys, but the "plot" must go on.

Love,
She-who-usually-hates-angst.

What am I doing still awake?

...Oh wait.

Dear Muse, Plot, Characters, Setting, etc,

WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!

No love,
AmaraReyi

Dear Eleanor,

I'm trying really really REALLY hard to stop you from becoming Mary Sue on me, but its happening. You need to get a more interesting life, as I'm sick of writing about how you go from chore to chore. Lets hope writing the market day scene will help me hit my quota for the day eh?

And by the end of this, you need to tell me if you pick Oliver or Robert, cos I have seriously no idea.

Love your Author

First NaNoWriMo!
Plot: 30%
Craziness Level: 19%
Sleep Deprivation: 40%
Wanting to give up: 2%
Happy with what I've written: 95%
Obsession Level: 90/100

Thank God for this thread...

Dear Viktor,

Nice to meet you. I'm your author. It was awful nice of you to show up just an hour earlier. Maybe not as nice as it would have been had you shown up on October 31st, but still very nice. I don't really know much about you yet, though. Including your appearance. It's very interesting that you use knives, though - but exactly how long-distance do they go?

Either way, your persona of the cynical bastard who likes money and couldn't give a damn about most things including power unless they benefit you and you alone amuses me. A lot. I like you. Now just make sure you don't fall in love with this girl you're picking up in a bit. Not even in like - you don't like her. Okay? She's barely tolerable as a companion on your long journey - what's with your journey, anyway? - and if it weren't for the whole responsibility thing, and that bit about a reward for returning her to wherever, you wouldn't even let her come with you. It's good like that.

Looking forward to you being handed the reins of power,

Your author.

Dear Ruiner (I named my muse...if anyone understands where I got her name, you get ecookies and much love from me),

Wow. You're really forcing me out of my element here -- slighty fluffy awkward romance? It's like AYCHIA* set in highschool with a political twist to it!
Oh, and I'm not killing anyone this time around...thanks a lot for throwing me further out of my element...**

Thanks :D
~Suki <3

*AYCHIA (And You Could Have It All) = the first story I ever completed, it clocked out at 3500 words long and it was awkward fluffy romance...
** In the ongoing story I was writing before NaNoWriMo began (it's called Year Zero), I had plans to kill everyone and I'd just killed off two main secondary characters. Even the end of the series of mostly fluff that AYCHIA was in ended with my MC1 dying in a fire and MC2 killing himself.

21st Century Breakdown
# of Chapters: 13 (and a minichapter)
# of Kisses: lost count
# of Times I Drop the F-Bomb: Lost count somewhere around 50
# of Things That Are Illogical: Lost count
# of Dream Sequences: 2
# of Sex Scenes: 2

Dear Thom,

Quit waffling. We know that you have a condition and this makes you different. Now shut up and get to Alice already!

Yours;
--Mr Heywire

ΩPR!

2008: 'We, the Disappeared' - Win
2009: 'Chaos and Other Theories" - Promising

[oh thank goodness. i thought this thread had disappeared forever and ever and i just can't survive NaNo without it... :D]

_______________________

Dear Bank Floor Manager,

Please stop hitting on Caleb. He is not gay, but is likely to pound you to a pulp if his biocortex overrides his main processor, which it has been known to do.

By the way, you're a wuss. The ID box is only pricking your finger for a blood sample, not chopping the friggin' thing off. Stop whimpering.

If you annoy me any further, I might let Caleb beat the crap out of you just for the word count.

Hah. How do ya like them apples?,
-kbird

_______________________

Dear Maddi,

This better be the final spelling of your name. Thanks for cussing like a sailor even though you're only 14. That totally makes my day.

With affection,
-kbird

2008 - The Angel and the Assassin (won!)
2007 - The Empress and the Inquisitor (won!)
2006 - The Raven and the Dragon -(won!)
2005 - The Wind and the Waves (March, won!)/ Vampire Pie (November, won!)

Dear Dr.Streuzak,

If you do anything to the MC, I SWEAR TO GOD, I will make your death violent and painful.

Love,
Author

Dear Author,
You don't have a choice.
Love,
Muse.

Dear List.

Where did you come from? It was solely my idea to have Jack and Adeline the main characters, but now you're here, and to have you just swoop in like that so that the two of them will not die and then leave, well, that seems pretty odd. So now I have to keep you around, but I don't want you here. Will you leave soon?

I say, if you don't, I'm going to have to kill you.

-Your loving author, Persephone.

Enthusiasm: 30%
Energy: 0%
Concentration: 60%
Sanity: .4%
Best Daily Word count: 5,000
MC status: Not even god can save him now...

Dear Kevin/Kevil/whatever your name will be tomorrow,

First of all, what happened to the "normal" naming conventions I'd had set up? Sure, I changed the universe on you, but you didn't have to go and change your name at the LAST MINUTE, as in AS I WAS TYPING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!!! Ugh. Okay. I'll get over that.

Second, this is a kid's book. You're getting all melancholy about growing up in a war zone. Well then, why did you decide to grow up there? Jeez! There are other towns and cities. Anogrin is nice this time of year, and you could still be an orphan without the daily reminder of a mass grave just down the street.

Oh well, at least the insults are good. My son appreciated that part, so I suppose other kids his age will as well. Just please try to keep the rest of the novel that interesting, okay?

Your loving author,
me

_____________________________________________
Never give up! Never surre--OW! OW! OW! Hand cramp!

Dear Body,

Why, oh why, is 7-8 hours of sleep plus power naps not good enough for you? Seriously, I may be abusing you with more coffee than you're used to, but I'm taking vitamins and Emergen-C and probiotics, eating good food, giving you your damn daily moisturizer and aromatherapy spray at bedtime, yet still you fail me with your mopey tiredness and your I-don't-want-to-cooperate attitude. You already threw a month-long flu at me last month. Can you GET any more annoying?

If you don't start shaping up I may break out the super-gross energy drinks.

Love,
Your Person

Dear Miss Ilya,
if Tshemechá says, "My Daddy said..." one more time, I will have to slap her. And I thought we were supposed to be friends.
Sincerely,
Merá Amuri

Dear Tshemechá,
stop repeating what your daddy said, and get some thoughts of your own. You are fourteen, you don't have to sound like a goddamn five-year old!
signed,
Your Author

Dear Author,
my daddy says you're not supposed to swear.
Respectfully,
Tshemechá Doesn't-Have-A-Last-Name-Yet

Tshemechá!
Shut up!!!!
Ilya&Merá
PS: There's a whole list of clan names. Pick one, or pick two if you want to be mixed clan, I don't care either way.
Ilya
PPS: But stay out of my clan!
Merá

Those who want to make dreams come true must dream deeper and be wider awake than others.
-Karl Foerster

Dear 2008 NaNotebook,

I've been trying to stay calm, but it does not appear to be working. Apparently your presence is absolutely critical for this year's novel to go swiftly. The Unnamed Muses want story fodder from your pages and damned if I can't find a digital copy of NaNo 08 anywhere.....so um, please show up? Pretty please? I really want to get this story moving.

Searchingly yours,
Hex

Dear Unnamed Muses,

Pick something, anything, and let me write it. Just because we can't locate last year's plot/story/characters doesn't mean you can skive off this year and leave poor Trinh alone in her world with nothing right now but some nameless tribal family and a dead girl's hula hoop. Also, please decide if you want to bring Loki into this story or not. He is currently acting like the Supreme Deity of Wangst and Emo Woe, but at least he wants to do stuff, unlike some slackers of inspiration I could name...

Do you need an offering? I'm not sure what to procure for you...I have a brand new notebook, a pack of the best NaNo pens in the world, and delicious tasty coffee as well as cider. Let's go to Walgreens and I'll let you pick out some discount Halloween candy and chocolate - will that help? Just tell me what you need! I want you to be happy and fruitful!

Cautious Love,
Hex

Dear Trinh,

I promise you won't be stuck mid-hoop-ritual forever. Also, I'm pretty sure your people live in a cemetery, but don't worry - it's usually invisible. I think. Please, stick with me, don't die like Adia did.

Reassuringly,
Hex

Dear Adia,

You. Are. A. Liar. You're not actually dead and Adia isn't even your real name. Also, you may just be a spirit and not even corporeal. Basically, you're a question mark. Oy.

Grr Argh,
Hex

Dear Inner Editor,

I've finally figured it out. If I have no words to write, you have no words to smite. Nyah, nyah. *sigh*

Hex

All Thanks and Praise be to Caffeinatrix, from whom all Blessings and Inspiration Flow.

Dear Freddie,

You were never designed to be perfect, in fact, i wanted a lovable rogue who most people would fall in love with after a while. Instead I had a minor character take that option. Damn you squeaky clean actor boy!

Love your author [now remember it, I am the author.}

Dear Author,

Why did you kill me? Seriously. It's not like I'm mental. Just arrogant.

From Dominic

p.s BETTER THAN YOU!

Dear Tristan,

You are being way too reasonable. You're not grabbing Skye by the throat and shaking him hard enough; you're not coming up with creative threats directed at the love of his life. I have thus written very few arson scenes and am dangerously close to the end of my outline--at less than 28,000 words. Tristan, get your act together! You're clinically, mentally insane--you're not supposed to distinguish right from wrong in your rages, so stop doing it! Stop backing off! Please, please, go force Skye to commit a serious, life-threatening crime so that I actually have something to write about.

Oh, but the scene where you destroyed Skye's room? Loved it. You gave me symbols and description for the first half of the book. See, that's what I mean--when you pitch temper tantrums and act like a spoiled three year old, I have an easier time writing. If you would just STOP acting sane, we'd be in a lot less danger of finishing the outline at 42 k!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Skye,

It's true, I wanted you to have more of a spine. But now you have too MUCH backbone. Stop it. Start being a romantic sap and caving to Tristan--don't make him explicitly threaten to kill Chris before you actually bow to his whims. Your backbone was supposed to make you stop crying every other page, supposed to make you talk back to Tristan. You weren't supposed to actually defy him. Have you ever heard the phrase "All talk and no walk"? Yeah. That's what you're supposed to be. STOP WALKING.

Reincarnate 2009: There is no such thing as a black-and-white decision.

Dear Mark,
You are not a main character. You are a last-minute addition to demonstrate the MC's life before the plot truly takes off. How is your scene equating about half of the 4.5k words currently written? Stop being such a drama queen and GTFO my plot, thanks.

Irked,
Robyn

[Knitting the Write Stuff]
[Twitter]
Title: The Maxima Gamers

Dear Hawk,

Why why WHY did you have to hit the Chief Engineer (and major love interest) over the head with the shovel? You KNOW I have no idea how to treat head injuries. It was going so well, and now you've made me stuck. Yes, yes, I know you'll say that he isn't good enough for her, and that she belongs to you, but please. She hates your guts. And not in a good I-say-I-hate-you-but-I-really-love-you kind of a way. I believe she's planning to kill you the next time you come near. And she has been training (and she has the author on her side), so I think she might just succeed. That'll teach you to thwart me *big crazy grin*

Your not-so-loving author

P.S. You really think I'd let you kill the only pretty guy in this whole mess? I have a sneaking suspicion that he may make a miraculous recovery.

P.P.S. Yes, that does mean you're not as pretty as you think you are.

P.P.P.S. I hate you too.

(This sounds fun!)

Dear Navi and Yuri,

I apologize in advance over what may happen next to you guys.

Navi, you need more face-time, I know. But I'm doing better in giving you some more face-time.

Yuri, you're plain awesome. xD I don't think I could've ever come up with a character as charismatic as you.

---------------------

Dear Roma,

I created you and yet I hate your character. Sorry, but I think I'm gonna have something bad happen to you. You're a whiny yet spoiled character, and it was right of Gillian, Wydgard, Keiri and Miska to tell you off.

NaNoWriMo 2009 - Forsaken Paradise

Dear Raggy, Bait and Switch, Mya, Draco, Kitty and Grant, and don't think I've forgotten you, Skell

Either GTFO or make yourselves a decent part of this story. Don't linger halfway in between. Ungrateful jerks.
Also, Kitty, could you possibly deal with angst in a normal way, rather than acting like a total freak? It makes you hard to write.
Raggy. Pick a name and stick to it. Raggy, Marie, Kitty - and that last one is getting confusing already, thanks. Also;
we know you have a comical accent. But could it at least be a consistant accent?
Bait: Stop swearing. I'm serious.
Switch: What the hell are you even doing here? Crazy lady.
Mya and Draco, you're too cute to yell at. Stop being cute.
And as for you, Skell... you ain't even in this story and you're still screwing the whole thing up! Yes, we know you're a bastard. We get it. And we get that you love Kitty, too. Did you ever stop to think that that may not even be the point of this story? Gah.
Grant... I don't even care about you enough to yell. You bore me.

I'm going to murder you all.
Love, the author.

Writing the World, one word at a time.

Dear Senna, Miranda, and Cole,

HUGS ALL AROUND! I'm SO glad you finally decided to introduce yourselves to me. I'm not too pleased with your name, Senna, and you still need a last name, Cole, but I really can't complain since I finally have someone to write about. <3 That pleases me greatly since I'm now 5k behind schedule and dislike having to write enormous blocks of text in one night. I'll deal; I'm just that pleased right now.

I don't suppose one of you knows the title of this little novel, hmm?

Some love,
AmaraReyi

Dear Miranda and Cole,
You're not having a relationship. Just fyi.

Miranda, you're supposed to be emo-angsting over your bff, not mooning over Cole's uber-sexiness.

Cole, just because you ARE so uber-sexy doesn't mean you need to use that as a way to move in on Miranda while she's emotionally vulnerable. You're not an asshole, and you're saving yourself for Senna. Keep that in mind when you're comforting Miranda and things will go well for you. Forget and you may end up broken and bleeding in some magically-appearing ravine. I like offing people...don't give me a reason to hate you. ^_^

Love,
AmaraReyi

Dear Tofurkey on Rye,
I love you. Not only are you delicious, you inspire me like no other late-night snack does. You rock!
Hugs and kisses,
AmaraReyi

Ashita-no-Yuki: I laughed so hard at your "Stop walking" that I almost woke up my girlfriend XD

***

Dear plot,
How the hell am I going to explain that my MC inherited a whole damn shop from a cousin she's never met? Are you mental? People don't do that outside fairytales. And don't give me that 'modern fairytale' bullshit, I am sick of it. SICK! Do you hear me? Oh, and incidentally, could you tell me what the hell my tall, dark stranger is supposed to be? 'Generally mystical' doesn't quite do it anymore. Is he a wizard? A fairy? A flesh-eating zombie? A sparkly vampire? Answer me!
/Me

O Calliope,

I admit, I don't usually think of myself as having a muse, which is why I'm writing to the Muse of Epic Poetry rather than any more specific personage.

I realise that you must be rushed off your feet this month, what with the hundreds of thousands of people around the world trying to write novels, but I have to ask - do you have the teensiest bit of inspiration for me? Everything I'm writing is dull, dull, dull. You wouldn't want people to write dull things, would you?

I thought not.

So please, get over here and give me something worth writing about.

Yours,

Charamei

Dear John Sr.

I like you. You can ramble more in your diary all you want. Just. . . try to figure out your character as you do so.

Dear John Jr.

Who the hell are you! You came into this story as a story-telling device, so stop angsting and start investigating! I still don't know what you even -do- for a living!

Thank you.

Your author.

NaNo:
Chronicles of Shydia -- 06'
On the One Path -- 07' - Winner
On the One Path II -- 08'
I am John Smith -- 09'

Script Frenzy:
Stained Glass -- 08'
Veil of Shadows -- 09' -- Winner

Dear Conflict,

I know that I personally am a wuss. However, it's okay for the characters to go through hell; you know that it's all going to be okay in the end. Big, dramatic things need to happen in this story. So jump in there! Cause fights!

You can do it,

The author.

Nur, my darling,

Yes, you are the love interest, but you can't be gooey sweetness and light all the time. C'mon, let your dark side out - I promise that Vandi will think you are WAY more interesting if you do.

Fiendishly yours,

The author

Dear Evie,

Get with the program! I have plans. I slaved over these plans. Now follow them!

Not much love,

Your Creator