other ways to put so-and-so said

"Maybe combine it with some action?" leirali suggested, hoping it would be helpful.

I remember reading in a writing book that it doesn't matter how many times you used "he said/she said" in your story, because it is necessary to keep the dialogue in order - but the reader doesn't notice how many times the word "said" is mentioned. I have to say this is true when I read books, but it certainly doesn't feel that why when I'm writing my own fiction. (Especially so much of it in a short time in November, it definitely makes you focus on things like this a bit more, making all the "saids" feel redundant.)

Said is an invisible word, and not distracting. You can't overuse it. :)

It's a misconception to think that 'he said' and 'she asked' need to be varied. They do NOT. At least, not very often! Don't make that rookie mistake in thinking that repeating those words is a sin, because when it comes to dialogue tags it's not.

The reason is that 'said' and 'asked' are neutral words that don't convey anything extra. Variations like 'he hissed', 'she snapped', 'mother yelled', etc. etc. al have additional meaning, which make them jump out to the reader. That's all well and good when the important thing you want to show is not what's being said, but the fact that it's being yelled, but otherwise using variations only distracts from the dialogue.

A far better way to try and avoid too much 'he said'/'she asked' is by avoiding dialogue tags alltogether. When it's two people talking, you can pretty much give the quotes without tags, only putting a tag in when you feel things might get confusing. And if there's more people talking, or more going on, let the sentence before or after the quote show who said what.

Example of the latter:

"So, who's the one who did it?" she asked them.

Peter sat down heavily in the nearest chair and shook his head. "I for one have no idea."

No tag needed, you know it's Peter who said it. It's a good technique to avoid too many tags and gives extra description at the same time.

Other than the above keep to 'said' and 'asked' as much as you can. I don't know if you've ever read a story where the writer kept varying the tags, but I can assure you it's very distracting from the story and gets bordering on the silly soon.

Something else that doesn't fall under the 'avoid repetitive worduse' rule is the use of names: if your character is named Peter, use Peter. Don't keep switching between Peter, the blond boy, Lizzy's boyfriend, the quarterback, his last name, and whatever else you can think of. Stick to Peter, and he/him, unless it's relevant to call him something else (for instance, a friend of Lizzy might only know him as Lizzy's boyfriend, so then it's apt to use that).

Moving to Writing 101

Heather Dudley
Forums Moderator
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A Dragon Writes

Remember that dialogue tags are not necessary for every line. If you're getting tired of writing "she said" after someone's lines, the reader can probably figure out who's talking on their own after that, with only occasional reminders.
"Was that helpful?" he asked.
"No."
"Darn."

I've never read a book and thought, "man, there are too many 'saids'!" I have read books where everybody was saying ____ly and shouting and screaming and whispering, gasping, ejaculating, hissing, seething, choking, laughing, questioning, and snarling, that I wondered if anyone ever just said anything.

Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.
--Edward Gibbon

Q: " better things to say then asked, said,"?

A:

"To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it." - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

2009-Brother Monkey, Brother Lion, Sister Crow
2009 -Bunnystar Galactica Psychic Bunnies IN SPACE

"Said" is fine in all situations. You can use more specific words where those words clarify what is happening, but don't feel that you need to do so. In many situations, you can even omit "said."

You've read books where people were ejaculating as a tag line?!? Holy cow, now THAT is bad writing!

I know it's kind of a cliche of bad writing cliches, but yes, I have seen "ejaculated" in an actual book before. I wish I remembered what it was.

Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.
--Edward Gibbon

That used to be more common in books. It looks weird now because "ejaculated" generally speaking no longer means "exclaimed." Notably, The Hardy Boys made use of the word.

J.K Rowling used it several times in the last three books of Harry Potter.

bemoaned
wailed
exclaimed
uttered ___ly (will need some type of adjective here)
retorted
bellowed
deadpanned
concurred
confided
conceded

"To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it." - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

2009-Brother Monkey, Brother Lion, Sister Crow
2009 -Bunnystar Galactica Psychic Bunnies IN SPACE

All of the tags above can be used, but at least 99% of the time, 'said' would be a better choice if you are going to use a dialogue tag at all. The big problem with a lot of said alternatives is that they tend to lead the reader to focus on the writing rather than the story.

Also, as many others have said, mix actions in with dialog and you can often get away without using a tag at all. If you can convey the speaker without a tag, do it.

"Absolutely right." She nodded emphatically. "It's very distracting to use all those synonyms, and you can often tell who the speaker is without any tag at all."

"Really?"

"Oh yes."

"Wow," he said. "I never knew that."

;-)

What comes after NaNo? National Novel Publishing Year! http://www.nanopubye.org