Jack: a self-loathing, depressed, perfectionist of 24 who feels guilty that his family's money has made everything too easy
Liz: Successful writer, elegant and sophisticated, beautiful, 30 years old. Jack realizes he doesn't love her.
Christine: Jack's high school sweetheart whom he hasn't seen in five years, quiet, observant, a serious musician
Jules: Liz's 21 year old sister. An aspiring environmental journalist, opinionated, talkative, the voice of reason
I have one protagonist and three women. This story is about more than just Jack's love life, but that plays a very important role in it. He first dates Liz, breaks up with her and then gets BACK together with Christine. Originally, Jules was thrown in there for comedic relief until I realized she had more chemistry with Jack than either of the other two.
My problem now is how to sabotage Jack and Christine's relationship. He loves her and they make a pretty good match. What goes wrong? How does he see the light that he needs this little 21 year old punk at his side rather than his soft-spoken sweetheart?
I don't want to just let their relationship dwindle, because that's what I did with he and Liz. He realized one day that he really didn't care if she was dead or alive. I feel as though with Christine, he needs a more concrete reason why they can't be together.
Any thoughts would be appreciated.
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50,276 / 50,000
nov. 17, 2009 - 17 22
One extra note: I know that this plotline doesn't exactly qualify as Chick-lit, but I thought you all would probably be the best ones to bounce this question off. Thanks!
50,008 / 50,000
nov. 17, 2009 - 19 04
It could be Christine goes off of him and she realizes that he isn't the one she wants, this leaves the rebound option which is a whole new plotline of, "Dammit, do I like her because she's a rebound option?" and she would be asking the same.
Christine may feel like she's not strong enough to bring him up from his self-loathing and depression. These things, she may feel are being brought out when she's with him and she realizes that this is not the relationship she wants as the depression affects her too much and she takes the self-loathing personally, leading to her breaking up, and leaving Jules, to whip him into cshape since she seems like that type.
Sometimes it's just a pure compatibility issue.
----------Novelists are a conscienceless lot.--Diana Gabaldon (An Echo in the Bone)
50,117 / 50,000
nov. 17, 2009 - 20 54
How about:
Christine's too serious. That melancholy musician personality becomes less fun to be around. She gets depressed. MMC realizes Jules (is that the little sister?) isn't so little, and makes him feel alive.
Most guys love to be admired. Maybe Christine just doesn't show passion and ignores MMC's need for admiration and respect. Jules doesn't want anyone to know, especially know-it all big sister, that she needs MMC's manly help on some task.
Just a thought. It's late; it may seem like a really bad idea in the morning!
Use, alter, or chuck it! :)
30,100 / 50,000
nov. 19, 2009 - 21 50
Jules can be seen more as a friend than a love interest, and then one day he's asking for what she would want if someone threw her a surprise party, and her birthday is the same day as Christine's and she gets excited and thinks he's throwing her a surprise party. He invites her to Christine's b-day party, and he neglects to tell her who's party it is, so she thinks that it's for her, but when she gets there and no one says 'surprise' when she walks through the door, she's hurt and starts to leave, but then he stops her. Here's what I picture, sort of:
"Come on, Jules, what's wrong?" I asked, grabbing ahold of her hand.
"You don't get it, do you?" I shook my head. What could she be talking about? "Sometimes, I wonder why I love you so much, because you--"
"What did you just say, Jules?" I asked, shocked.
"I...nothing," she tried to say. "Okay, so I admit it. I love you, Jack. I always have, ever since the day I met you. I don't believe in that love at first sight stuff, but it felt like it. You're the one person who really gets me, and isn't intimidated by my outgoing personality, or anything like that."
"I'm sorry," I stuttered. "I didn't know, at all."
"I figured that out by now," she said as a tear rolled down her cheek. She began to walk away, but she turned around. "Just one more thing, though." Suddenly, she pressed her lips against mine, and I felt something I had never felt with Christine. It seemed like Christine and I loved each other, but this was a more spontaneous and unexpected kind of love. It made my stomach churn, and it made me want it to never end. That was when I realized that Christine and I...we just weren't what thought we were.
"Your old girlfriend's sister, huh? Read my lips,' said Christine, glaring at me. "You and I will never be together again!"
"I'm sorry, Jack," said Jules, sighing. "I wrecked everything you had. I'm better off never seeing you again."
Sorry it's so long...I just got caught up in the moment. I'm writing a fantasy, and this kinda stuff never happens in my story. I'm into romance, though.
8,887 / 50,000
nov. 20, 2009 - 07 00
Just because Jack and Jules have chemistry at first doesn't mean they have to end up together, I feel. Perhaps Jack could realise he has more fun with Jules than with Christine, which is as good a prompt as any for the spiral of dissatisfaction that would end his relationship with Christine. That doesn't have to be the end of it, though; after spending some time with Jules (not necessarily dating) after breaking up with Christine, he could (who knows?) find out that surface chemistry is not something that he can build a loving relationship on, and realise that his love for Christine is stronger now that he has, effectively, lost her.
Alternatively, velociraptors eat Christine. Jules consoles Jack, and they head out together (with flamethrowers) to avenge her death.
----------52,466 / 50,000
nov. 23, 2009 - 11 50
I hate to say it, but this sounds like a classic set-up for Jack to cheat. He's self-loathing and depressed, his girlfriend is kind of boring, the spunky young cutie keeps hanging around and he's got more chemistry with her ... so he gives in. And then either Christine catches them, or he can't take the guilt and tells her.
Granted, if you actually like Jack and want the reader to like him too, this may not be the best option. But it would work otherwise. Of course, if we're going to follow the pattern of "guy dumps the good girl for the funky free spirit", then Jules will have to dump him and he'll have to end up alone. I mean, you can change the pattern, of course, but that's the pattern as I've seen it done. Normally.
----------Erin
aproposofnothingblog@gmail.com
http://haveyoumetmyblog.blogspot.com
52,466 / 50,000
nov. 23, 2009 - 11 51
Or the velociraptor idea. I actually like that one best. ;)
----------Erin
aproposofnothingblog@gmail.com
http://haveyoumetmyblog.blogspot.com
70,307 / 50,000
nov. 23, 2009 - 13 17
Oh please, someone write this book! *laughs* ----------
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