Interregna (part 2)
an excerpt

“I think I could sleep in these.”, I said as I admired the surprisingly soft fit of the environmental layer on my body.
“They're like PJs - with footies.” Scott observed as he held his at arms length, “No way can those 'Waste Recepticals' be comfortable.”
“They aren't as bad as I expected.”, I said, “Someone invested some real research in them.”
“I'd love to see how they wrote that up in the annual report.”
“By the time they finished wrapping it up in flowery techno babble”, I said, “They probably made it sound like they were refining rose water. I think I've seen you around, but I don't recall ever hearing your name.”
“I'm Dale. Dale Alexander. I don't get out a lot – too busy trying to keep up with you super cadets.”
“Super Cadets.”, Scott said, “I think I like the sound of that.”
“Sounds like a lawn mower.”, I said, “and you better get into those PJs pretty quick – unless your planning on going into the common area and asking Cheryl to help you into them.”
Scott screwed up his face, giving the impression he was seriously considering the idea, “That's not the worst idea ever...”
“Is he serious?”, Dale asked.
“Almost never.”, I replied, “and it is the worst idea ever. We don't have a lot of time to do this, so bite the bullet, and put the Pjs on.”
“I'll bet you don't think so highly of them after you've worked in them for a week or two.”
“I'll bet you're right.”, I said, “But lets get going, If the girls are out there they will be wondering what took us so long, I'm going to explain it in graphic, and dare I say, embarrassing detail.”
I noticed Dale didn't follow us too closely when we went into the common area. Scott and I could have that affect on people who didn't know us very well.
When we entered the common area, my fears were realized. There were five girls there, and they were making good progress getting into the second layers of their suits.
I decided to hold true to my threat, “Way to go Scott, holding us up like that. Honestly girls. It took us three tries before we could convince him to quit trying to put his long johns on backwards. Now we've missed the pajama party.”
“Trust me”, Kelly said, “You haven't missed anything you didn't need to miss, and now you best get with the program before we girls finish the exercise without you. It would be a shame if only the girls made it into space. Besides, why didn't you come out without him?”
“Well, truth be told, he didn't hold me up that much, I decided to take a little extra time to try and void any unnecessary bodily waste. I prefer not to try out the waste collection components of our suits today.”
“I wish I'd thought of that...” said one of the girls I didn't know.
Kelly and Cheryl introduced the other three girls, “This is Aleesha, she's from Chicago. Over in the corner is Cynthia, from small town Iowa. And behind us is the gal the rest of us deeply envy, because she's the most beautiful girl here, Susanne. She's from Phoenix.”
“It doesn't make any difference how many times I here that, it's still not true.”, said Susanne.
I considered telling Susanne she should give some credence to the notion, and then thought better of it. I didn't need to say anything, Dale was there.
“Take it from someone who only gets to look, but who looks a lot, you have nothing to complain about”.
“I'm not convinced”, Susanne said, “there are plenty of other girls here who look just as good as I do. Kelly's one of them, but I think you've already figured that out.”
The last part she said to me.
“I have indeed”, I said, “and ironically enough, she doesn't think she's very good looking either. That's a good thing – it gives an ugly guy like me a chance.”
Kelly continued with the introductions, “As you've already figured out, this is John, and his roommate Scott. As you may have guessed, they tend to keep things pretty interesting.”
“And the third gentleman here is Dale Alexander.”, I said, “We forgot to get his full biography.”
“I'm from Crestline Ohio. It's a fairly small town, most folks have never heard of it.”, Dale said.
“Yeah, my guess is you don't know small, how does it compare to Audobon, Iowa, population twenty five hundred?”, asked Cynthia.
“Crestline is something like fifty five hundred, so I guess you win the small town award.”
“You're both big city kids”, I said, “Floyd only has about five hundred folks – on a good day.”, I said.
“Is it up around Sioux City?”, asked Cynthia, “It seems like every other thing up there is named 'Floyd'. Floyd Boulevard. Floyd River. Floyd Monument. Floyd ad infinitum.”
“No, Floyd is in the North central part of Iowa. Not much there for you to ever have heard of it.”
“And yet, it seems strangely familiar, but I can't put my finger on it...”
“Maybe”, Scott interjected, “it's because you saw it on the news earlier this year, with an airplane flying around the water tower. Something about their local astronaut?”
“Yes!”, Cynthia burst out, “that's exactly where I saw it before! Hey John, you were the one flying that plane, weren't you.”
I should have known Scott would take the first opportunity to get even for my earlier remarks.
“Yes...”, I said, “that was me, but...”
“And you know”, Scott interrupted, “he can't get enough of that video. He reruns it every night, just so he can see it one more time.”
“No I don...”
“Hey”, this time Susanne cut me off, “is he blushing? He is. Now that's cute.”
Kelly joined in, “I told you he was cute.”.
“Your not helping.”, I said.
“I'm not?”, Kelly said, her eyes and voice dripping innocence, “but your face has the cutest little cherry glow.”
So I glowered silently in Scott's direction.
“Oh oh”, Scott said. “I'm going to pay for this one, aren't I?”.
“Why no”, sarcasm engulfing ever word, “I can't imagine what you might be referring to. Surely nothing has transpired for which you might be feeling the slightest sense of culpability? If so, remove it from your mind. I bear nothing but good will towards those around me, and most especially towards my dear friend and room mate.”
“Scott”, said Cheryl, “If I was you, I'd keep him away from my pressure suit.”
“I would never tamper with a space suit”, I said, “because, as another, dear, friend, once explained to me, a practical joke isn't as funny if the victim can't hear you laughing.