Excerpt: RagnaröcK

In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth.

And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.

Then there was a bunch of bullshit that happened later in seven days.

Earth, man, light, you name it -- he created it. Awesome job.

The seventh day became known as the Sabbath day. The day where God rested from his work and deemed it good. He stayed in his room and slept most of it away. Really, after taking six days to create the universe as we know it, he deserved the rest. That would tire out anyone, supreme being or not.

The next day, the eighth day, he went right back to work. Because it was a Monday and even though he wanted to sleep in really badly, he knew he had a job to do.

And it was on this day he created the best music ever created in the history of the universe.

Rock music.

God loved rock music. He enjoyed it immensely. It destroyed the peace he created on the newly formed Earth, which gave him the excitement he needed. A little bit of disruption never hurt anyone -- even though there wasn't an 'anyone' yet.

It was actually because of rock music that God realized he hadn't made anyone to share this music with, nor anyone to make the music for him. So he set about to fix that.

See, God was, well, Supreme Being, Father Almighty, and That Big Guy, but he wasn't that creative with music. He could make universes, form galaxies, shape worlds, carve out landscapes, paint the sky and color the water. He was Bob Ross before Bob Ross was even created by God. Happy little trees and all.

But, again, he was Bob Ross, not, like Bob Rock. Then again, if he was Bob Rock, we would've gotten Motley Crue earlier than necessary, so that's a good thing. Flipside is that if he was Bob Rock, we would've gotten the heroes of our story way earlier as well.

That God. Always about balance.