The Trouble With Chaos
an excerpt

The trouble with chaos, the real problem, is that it always seems to bring more chaos. One bad thing happens, then another jumps on top, then another, and so on. Eventually you just feel like you're being crushed under the weight of everything.
Now hold that thought for a second; I suppose I'd better pause here to introduce myself before really kicking this shindig off. My name's Jim, (Jimmy to friends, family, and the like.) My full name is Jim Burton Nicholson. My friends sometimes call me Jim-Burt when they want to annoy me; (and that's usually when I'm trying to ask a girl out. Friends are such a help.)
Anyway, I'll get down to my actual point now. You know those days that you wake up on, just knowing that they'll end badly? Well, a few weeks ago, I had one of those days. I woke up dreading the day and whatever it was about to bring to me. I just knew that there would be chaos in it; and as I stated earlier, chaos always, and only, brings more chaos with it. (Misery loves company, and all of that.)
I got up, wondering what chaos would enter the day. I woke up on time, instead of sleeping over my alarm; so that was fine. Breakfast was harmless; there were no problems with my cereal spontaneously combusting. (The Apple Jacks were really quite inoffensive.) Even my shower didn't end terribly; (and everyone knows that 90% of household accidents happen in the bathroom.) My showerhead didn't explode, and the shampoo didn't squirt into my eyes. So I just waited. For what, I didn't know; but it had to be chaotic.
I was just getting out of the shower, when I heard my cell phone ring. So I raced out of the bathroom, tugging my shirt on as I went, and narrowly missing hitting my head against the small disco ball I'd gotten two years ago at a white elephant party. (I think I was one of the few who actually got something that they used.)
I picked my phone up from where it had been lying on the foot of my bed; and as I did so, I couldn't help but think that so far, I had been doing good. I hadn't hurt myself, or had something terrible happen to me yet. No chaos had been sighted so far.
But then I answered the phone; and the chaos began. (I should have known that the chaos would sneak up on me through a seemingly harmless situation. Chaos is sneaky like that.)