Excerpt: Broken Wings

Pain.
This is the first I can remember. Only pain. I can’t see. I can’t breathe. I can’t hear. I can’t speak. I can only feel; and what I feel, is pain. It’s an unbearable agony that sears through my veins. My back feels as though it had been torn open.
“Finish her… Finish her off…” I can hear voices… not in my head, but my mind, faintly, barely…
Oh god.
I let out a shuddering breath and attempt to open my eyes. My arms are wrapped tightly around my form as I’m curled in a foetal position; I can feel my nails piercing my skin.
“Tear them! Break them! She will never be free again.” The voices continue to echo in my mind, tearing at the little bit of my sanity that remains.
Why is there so much pain?
I feel my chest heave, causing another wave of agony to seep through my being, I take a deep breath before doubling over, coughing violently. With each cough, I can feel my body protesting in agony.
“I already broke them. She’s torn. She’s shattered. She’s broken.” Another voice… Another voice in my mind… A voice I should recognise, a voice that – oh god! Pain burns through my body, my limbs are heavy, my throat is sore and my back and my chest hurt so much. The coughing doesn’t stop.
Let it end… Please, let it end.
Cracking one eye open, I hold my hand over my mouth, while I keep coughing. Finally, after a few minutes, I stop. Feeling a warm, wet substance on my palm, I pull back my hand to look.
My hand is red with blood. My blood.
I think I’m dying.
“She won’t live.” I can feel the malice, the darkness, the evil that resonates with the voice in my mind… Who is it? Why can I only hear it in my mind?
I stare at my trembling hand, my vision fading in and out of focus. I can feel that something is happening around me, but I can’t hear it. All I can hear is the dull throbbing of my pulse, it’s becoming fainter. I can tell.
“She’ll just die here.” I can feel the owner of the mysterious voice smirk, malice gracing their voice that echoes in my mind, before fading completely.
No… I refuse to die.
Taking another deep breath, I bite down hard on my lip, closing my eyes as I put my hands onto the floor in front of me, but instead of finding a hard concrete floor, instead I’ve found more blood, stray, black… things mixed in with it. I glance down for a closer look, confusion registering in my mind.
They’re feathers. Black, feathers.
Shaking my head, I concentrate on my pain. I close my eyes and slow down my breathing, blocking out everything but the pain. The pain I welcome and embrace. I can feel an odd sense of calm wash over me as I breathe gently.
In… Out… Breathe in… Breathe out…
Finally, after a moment, the pain dulls down to a numbing throb. Opening my eyes, I focus on the ground then use my hands to push myself up into a sitting position. I feel a wave of dizziness crash over me and my vision flickers momentarily before going black at the edges.
You sleep, you die. And you don’t want to die.
Grinding my teeth together, I growl deeply in my throat. Taking care, I carefully stand up, stumbling in the process.
You’re strong. You’re a fighter. You don’t give up. You’re-
… no one… I don’t even know who I am. I cannot remember anything. I can only remember pain. And that I’ve been in pain, for a very, very long time.
I look around, taking in the scenery before me. I’m in a strange, stainless steel room. The walls are marred with deep scratches in the metal work. Other parts are bent and mangled. And even more striking, was the constant appearance of red stains upon the wall right next to each mark. Almost as if something had been the victim of some cruel torture.
I shivered in distaste.
Such destruction… Who would do such a thing?
Glancing down at the floor, I can see a large puddle of blood pooled around my feet. Numerous black feathers lay strewn across the floor. The dull throbbing from my back makes me wonder if I-
“YOU!” Before I can blink, I feel a quick gust of wind and the next thing I know is that I’m being held up by my throat. Gasping, I claw at the offending object, attempting to breathe, “Still alive and kicking I see, little wench.”
“Let.. me…” I began timidly before coughing, then something in me snaps and I can feel a sudden rage build up in me, “GO!” I finished with a loud yell, a large gust of wind seems to come from me and I can feel my back protest in agony. The offender is thrown back but he – I look up to see who/what the offender is before falling to the ground, rubbing my neck – skids to a stop, dark, leathery wings unfurling to keep the man stabilised.
He looked up at me, his short black hair was streaked with red, and he looked a good foot or two taller than me. I could see the ripple of his muscles upon his bare chest and on his arms, gazing over him I focused on his face, his dark red eyes were burning and a cruel grin rested on his features. “And here I thought, breaking you would’ve killed you.” He smirked, his voice matched the one that I heard in my mind earlier, “But I guess not.” My eyes travelled to his back where on either side of him, stretched wide open were his large leathery black wings.
My eyes went wide with shock as my mind finally processed the information.
He had wings. He actually had wings. I- what…-…
What the heck was he?
The winged man looked at me curiously, “What foolish thoughts have you got in your mind girl?” He sneered, “Is this another one of your tricks? Broadcasting your thoughts like that? Ha! You should know better than that.” He growled low and with a flick of his wrist, I was suddenly propelled against a wall, an invisible force tightening around my throat.
I wanted to scream in pain, but something inside me halted my voice, instead causing me to bite down hard on my lower lip instead, drawing warm beads of blood.
You do not scream. You do not show him weakness. You do not let him win.
The beat of wings brought me back to the present, only to find that… that thing in front of me. “Ah, my little fallen one.” He lifts a hand, running his index finger down my left cheek, I pull away from him instinctively, “I can make this stop you know. You wouldn’t be he right now if you had simply put that stupid notion of redemption and salvation out of your head and joined me.”
“I would never join you.” I spat angrily, an unknown hatred, feelings mixed with anger and betrayal welled up inside me. I didn’t know why, but all I knew was that I hated this man, this thing down to his very core.
“I knew you were still inside there.” He looked deep into my eyes, “That fiery soul I love so much.” He leant in and kissed me, of all things, he fucking kissed me!
I took a hold of the deep, raw anger that boiled inside me and turned it into energy. With a savage growl, I pushed him back, a loud beat of wings echoing from me on either side. Seething in anger, and concentrating on it to fuel my newfound burst of energy, I could hear a deep animalistic growl vibrate in my throat as I curled my hand up into a fist. Dark, purple energy began to crackle inside my palm, opening my hand, a large orb floated above my outstretched palm. Glaring daggers, I pulled my arm back and threw the dark ball of energy at him, catching the man off guard.
He was thrown back with a loud explosion as I shielded my eyes with my arm. The dull sound of wing beats echoed in my ears, almost like a second pulse.
There was a flash of black and the next thing I new was an unbearable agony from my back… and something else. “My, my, my. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you use that power.” His grip tightened and I gasped in pain, feeling my body slump as he held me suspended in mid air.
He reached forward with another hand and the next thing I felt was something akin to hair being pulled from my head, the only thing was that I felt it come from an unknown part of my body, something that was extended from my back. “Why are you doing this?” I hissed.
“Because I can.” He whispered softly in my ear, “Because I want to-” I bit down hard on my lip again as he ripped the same something from my being, his voice hardening with each word, “cause you as much pain-” another rip, “and agony-” it was getting harder to think, to concentrate, “that you,” he breathed deeply, his voice shaking slightly, “caused me.” He pulled my now limp form closer to him, his wings beating on either side of him as he kept us suspended in mid air. I felt one of his arms wrap around my waist as he pulled me close, resting his chin on my shoulder.
I could feel my form tremble in his grasp, my vision was starting to go black at the edges, and I just knew something wasn’t right. Something was very, very wrong…
“See this?” He spoke quietly, breathing deeply, his chest raising and lifting slightly against my back as he held out what he had in his hand in front of my face.
It was a fistful of black, blood-soaked feathers.
Glancing down at them, I could feel a lone tear fall down my face, a deep, unsettling knowledge stirring deeply within me. He had done something unthinkable. Unimaginable. Unforgivable. And I.. I will never-
“I became this for you.” His voice held a hard edge to it, “I was willing to do anything for you. I was willing to take Heaven and Hell for you.” His fist became alight as a dark red flame appeared, burning the feathers within, my breath was cut short as more tears fell, “But you. You didn’t want it. I gave up everything for you. And you wouldn’t take me.”
“Please…” My voice trembled, something was wrong, something was so very wrong… I didn’t know what, but those feathers… “I… I don’t…”
“Don’t what?” He hissed, pulling my form tighter against his causing my back to burn in agony.
“I don’t even…” My vision was going black at the edges, “remember who…” I could feel something warm trickle down my back, I felt so light-headed and tired… So very tired, “I don’t remember who I am anymore…” I could hear my voice fade into a mumble as my vision went black and I fell into the forgiving dark abyss.
This I remember… The darkness.
The darkness always took away the pain.