Silver
an excerpt

Tama glanced up at the stairs briefly, but didn’t consult with Ami about leaving to have spells cast on him. She was in the bath, and was likely to be so for a while.
“How long will this take?” he asked Reika, before getting up.
“I’d say an hour and a half,” said Reika, suddenly more comfortable now that she had no way out anyway. “Why?” Tama shrugged. Ami would be in the bath for the next two hours, it was likely, since she could spend upwards of three hours at a time drowning out the smells of the tavern below in a nice bath.
“Just wanted to know the timeline,” said Tama, standing. Reika led the way out of the tavern and into the evening air. She took him to the other inn, which had no tavern below, and Tama wondered why Ami hadn’t insisted on staying at that one.
She took him up the stairs, at which point he took note of a very disapproving glare from the innkeeper, reminding Tama that we was a man following a girl up to her room. Tama made a point of smiling in an about-to-get-lucky manner to the man before disappearing out of view.
Once upstairs and in Reika’s chamber it became very clear to Tama that the girl had been staying in the same room for a while, or was a very fast decorator. It was adorned with various symbols of the occult, books, powders and bottles of potions. There was a chalk rose drawn on the ground, which Tama was motioned to sit on. He did so, watching Reika pull down a book and several bottles. She placed her staff in the middle of the rose, where a stand was set just for that purpose, and the gem petals on the head seemed to glisten more than the dim lighting would have allowed.
“I’m going to ask you to lie down with your head close to the center, and this leaf in your mouth, stem sticking out,” said Reika.
“Me looking silly is required for this spell?” asked Tama, sarcastically while complying.
“The leaf is to aid a sleep spell so that your conscious mind won’t get in the way of the truth spell, and so your current memory won’t get in the way of the unbrainwashing spell,” said Reika, curtly. “The stem sticks out so I can take it out of your mouth when I’m trying to understand your speech without getting coodies,” she added in a mumble.
“You have to put me to sleep?”
“No, I don’t have to, theoretically, but it makes it much easier and much more reliable,” said Reika. “And since I’m not particularly good at these spells, more reliability is key.”
Tama laid back, popped the leaf in his mouth, and closed his eyes. He wondered what it would feel like, as he’d never been under a spell before, to his knowledge. Would it be like being drunk? No, he assumed not, since he’d be asleep.
Colors swirled in his eyes. Funny, he hadn’t remembered opening them again, but he could see the colors of the magic above him. No, wait, his body was a few feet below him. He was either asleep, or astral projected, which wasn’t part of the agreement. He judged by the fact that Reika was turning into a swarm of butterflies that he was asleep.
“So,” he said to himself, his voice echoing eerily against nothing. “I’m all alone in a magic induced sleep. What do I do now?” he asked himself as the walls of the room dissolved, and all that was left was Tama and the swirling colors of the spell. He watched them a while, but knew they would become boring very soon.
The colors twitched strangely, then switched directions, and moved as if they had a purpose other than swirling. Tama looked closer, and was amazed at what he saw.
It seemed as if these colors were so vibrant that he couldn’t have seen them in the real world, but at the same time they were so familiar that he thought sure he had.
The colors seemed to be fitting together more, as if they were clay on a pottery wheel. They shaped themselves gradually, and their spin slowed eventually until they were standing still, about human sized and shaped.
Then, colors – real color – so unsaturated in comparison, but colors that he could have believed seeing, dripped over the form, manifesting the body, letting it have shadows and shape that was discernable. It colored from the feet, then ankles, up the shins and knees, and Tama knew those legs. They were Ami’s legs. The color continued, her thighs, her hips, her abdomen and chest, her shoulders and arms, then finally her head.
For once, her long brown hair was down, falling in strands around her hips. Her blue eyes were brilliant, looking upon him warmly. She had the color back in her skin from when she met him and wasn’t undead yet, but she’d lost in their travels. All her scars were there, each one a mark, disturbing her form only enough for him to notice.
“Hi there, Ami. I’m dreaming about you naked,” said Tama, swallowing.
She took a step forward.
“Now, now!” said Tama, backing up. “You can read my mind, so I can’t act all superior and sarcastic to protect myself, and I really don’t think this is a good idea you have here,” he said, still backing up as Ami kept advancing. “Um, figment of my imagination, I think we need to sit down and have a talk about this,” he tried. “After I imagine some clothes onto you.” He retreated more. “Um, I’m trying to imagine clothes, but it isn’t working...”
Suddenly, Ami reformed. The shape changed to that of a taller, scrawny man.
“Tama, we need to talk.”
“Ah, man, can’t I at least imagine myself with clothes on?”
“Nope,”
“Damn it.”
“Yes, I’m your imagination, but I’m also your subconscious.”
“So, how am I talking to you consciously?”
“You’re not, really. You’re asleep, but it’s a remarkably lucid dream, because it’s magically induced.”
“Right. That makes sense, I guess. Go on, subconscious,” said Tama.
“Well, Ami, this girl we’ve been traveling with, she’s pretty much amazing, right?”
“Yes, I agree. She doesn’t, but I do.”
“Yeah, well, she’s been turned into something she thinks is evil.”
“But she’s not evil! Why can’t she see that?” asked Tama.
“Look,” said his subconscious, patiently. “It doesn’t really matter the reality of it... She believes it. Uh, think about it this way. What if you got put in the body of the mayor of Westridge?”
“Hrmmm... I think I see your point. That would be terrible.”
“Yeah, so Ami believes she’s got something worse than that, but instead of believing that she’s just in the body of the mayor, she believes she’s becoming the mayor.”
“Oh, Gods!”
“Yes, quite,” said his subconscious. “You see now why she’s in a bad way?”
“But she seems so happy, and so willing to tease around with it,” supplied Tama.
“I know, I know. She’s doing that because she’s uncomfortable with it. You understand?”
“No.”
“No, I guess you wouldn’t,” said his subconscious. “Look, the point is, no matter how round about it seems, be nicer to the girl. I mean, for Gods’ sakes, you’re falling in love with her, you may as well try to cater to her a little more.”
“I’m what now?”
“Oh, don’t try to tell me you didn’t know.”
“Well, I knew she was an attractive woman, and there was a strong physical attraction on my side, but no, I think you’re wrong that I’m falling in love with her.”
“Oh, please!” said his subconscious. “You moron. Yes you’re falling in love with her. You’re traveling with a werewolf, even trying to convince other people she’s not a bad person, of course you’re in love with her. Gosh, how dumb can you conscious minds be?” Tama frowned.
“Well, maybe, I know, novel concept, I really do think she’s a good person and deserves a second chance?”
“Oh, yeah. That sounds like you.”
“Hey! I’m a very nice person!”
“When were you nice to the uneducated farmers? When were you nice to the yokel of a mayor? You’re bigoted and conceded.”
“How am I bigoted? I’m the only person seeing Ami as a person still, even though she’s afflicted!”
“No, you’re not bigoted against something like that, you hate those less fortunate than you,” said his subconscious, condescendingly crossing his arms. “They didn’t get any kind of formal education, and you blame them for being ignorant.”
“I didn’t get any formal education either until I was apprenticed.”
“Yes, but you listened to people who had such an education, and you have an eidetic memory. Not everyone is so fortunate. And on top of that, you mentioned yourself that you were apprenticed, with a doctor. So yeah, that sort of puts you on higher ground.”
“Oh, that’s not even true. The mayor got official schooling.”
“From a poor school, and he had rich parents who bribed the teachers with grants so that they felt obligated to pretend he was clever?”
“I didn’t know subconsciouses used so many italics.”
“And look! Now you’re falling back on a classic avoidance technique, changing the subject because you’re feeling threatened!” hollered his subconscious, triumphantly. “I know every trick in the book, Tama. I wrote them all for you, and none of them will work on me!” After a moment of pause, he added, “And no, you didn’t just successfully change the subject, so stop smirking to yourself that you’ve won. I’m in your head, doing all that for you, you know.”
“Shit.”
“The question is, why am I making this so hard on myself? Oh, right, I know. Because part of you, which is part of me, is still bigoted against Ami as well, which is why you’re being so overprotective about her. You can’t accept it fully either, but since you’re in love, know it or not, you’re pretending you can, getting wrapped further and further in a loop that’s going to make you leave her helpless without you, and leave you with yet another layer of barricades, just like when you left Elleim.”
Tama felt himself pale.
“That’s really why you left the town and moved to the no-brain yokels to help them in the desert. You left because Elleim didn’t choose you, and you couldn’t take it.”
“I left because Elleim would have chosen me if I stayed, and I didn’t want to hurt Kurn!” yelled Tama, suddenly breathless. He felt his hands grip and un-grip, testing his fists. He found himself wondering what would happed if he murdered a part of his own mind. After a little of that, his subconscious continued in a softer, more matter-of-fact tone.
“Elleim made her decision, and she was going to stick by it. As for Kurn, well, didn’t it hurt him more to have his best friend not show up for his wedding, and leave without so much as a goodbye?”
“More? That do you mean, more? Taking Elleim from him would have been betrayal!”
“At least telling him why you left would have been loyalty.”
Tama’s breath caught in his throat. His jaw clenched and he rocked onto his toes, really having to resist the urge to attack himself.
“I want to wake up now,” said Tama, sounding so level that it was clear he wasn’t going to be level long. “I don’t like this dream very much.”
“That’s because you never listen to me, so you save all your demons for the same time!” said his subconscious. “If you would just pay attention every now and then, maybe you would be able to get over yourself and let yourself fall in love properly, rather than in the half-assed way you’re doing now, which has you terrified and lustful at the same time. You love Ami, and that’s the truth. But you still see ‘dead thing,’ no matter how much you deny it.”
“Then what do you propose I do?” snapped Tama.
“You touch her skin, and accept that it’s cold. She’s struggling to not hate herself more than you are, and she can’t love herself if no one else does fully.”
“That… That actually makes a surprising amount of sense…” admitted Tama.
“I know it does. Normally I don’t speak in words, so I’m not good with them, but all the things I’m saying are things that you believe, because that’s all I am; a personified you. Now, you may want to not talk for a while, because you’re waking up.”
“I am?”
“Well, the room’s coming back.”
“So it is,” said Tama, watching the wall reform, as if un-dissolving. It was like a strange sound that became a sensation when the world was coming back into focus. First the walls, then the accessories, then the air and the outside behind the windows. Then, it all went black as he fell back into his body and his eyelid were down. Slowly he opened them, as if afraid they would fall off.
“How do you feel?” asked Reika, closing a bottle that oozed with the smell of cattle.
“I feel… I’m still under the truth spell, huh?”
“How could you tell?” asked Reika.
“I was trying to say something sarcastic, but it didn’t work,” said Tama. “Damn! I was trying to do it there, too!”
“It’ll wear off in about half an hour. Until then, we ought to call you ‘Honest McGee.’”
“No, that’s not nice. You aren’t allowed to tease me when I can’t so much as exaggerate.”
“Wasn’t that an exaggeration?”
“Sadly, no,” said Tama, wistfully. “How long was I out?”
“Roughly an hour,” estimated Reika.
“Wow, I really ought to get back to Ami. She might be out of the bath by now, and wondering where I am,” he said stretching his arms. “What was your final verdict?”
Reika bit her lip. She hated admitting people were right, but from the things Tama said while under, Reika had to admit that she either failed miserably with the unbrainwashing spell, or he honestly did thing she was a good person. She wondered whether or not Tama had any memory of the ‘conversation with his subconscious’ that she overheard, but she assumed he didn’t. Everyone forgets magically induced dreams.
“My final verdict,” said Reika, coming back to the topic at hand. “Is that I, Reikyanyii Zauberlaufrolle, do formally agree to help you and Ami find Rekki, my uncle and the powerful mage who may be able to find a cure for Ami’s affliction of lycanthropy.”
Reika watched Tama’s face light up with a smile, and she couldn’t help herself but smile back. It was reassuring to see, because that kind of smile wouldn’t be seen one someone brainwashed, she was sure. That kind of smile had to be genuine. At the very least, it was genuine enough for her to trust it, and if someone could be loved then they could be worth helping.