Excerpt: It's Miss Jem's Blog-iverse (you just live in it)

Turns out, Dev is friends with Cam. I didn’t find this out until we got to the cinema, however. He’s only new this year so we didn’t really know who he considered his friends yet and who were just random people he knew. He was still sorting through the crap from the doubly crap.
Van and I spent heaps of time raiding Megs’s wardrobe on Saturday night, trying to find her the perfect outfit because in the meltdown mode she was in, she was in no way capable of doing it herself. Something cool, but not too dressy. Had to be casual, but hot. After agonizing about it all week, we still weren’t sure if he thought it was a date thing or just a group hanging out thing. But he seemed to be looking forward to it. He smiled at Megs and told her as such as he walked passed us at recess yesterday, and she went all kind of giggly and shy and red. I think she really likes him.
So we were in Megs’s room, Van and I scrutinizing every top she owned (we’d already decided on the denim mini skirt and strappy sandals) and Megs was kind of pacing, forehead furrowed as she glared at herself in the mirror.
“I’m hideous.” She said, throwing her hands in the air in defeat. “Why am I doing this to him?”
“What are you talking about? Doing what?” I asked.
“This. Tonight, why am I subjecting poor Dev to the hideousness that is me.”
“Oh shut up Megs,” Vanya said. Megs crossed her arms and huffed.
“I’m with her.” I nodded at Van as she tossed another top into the ‘hell no’ pile in the corner.
“You’re pretty and nice and sweet and he likes you. You don’t have anything to worry about.”
“And you can hardly notice the pimples anymore,” Vanya said helpfully. Megs gasped and slapped her hand to her chin. I pulled it away and clasped both her hands in mine, squeezing them reassuringly.
“And you’ve got us there to help you.”
For a moment she seemed to be settling down, but then she pulled her hands away, strode to the other side of the room and declared: “I’m not pretty, I’m horrible, I’m hideous. I’m disfigured!”
“What are you talking about?”
And that was when she whipped her top off. Just like that. She pointed to her boobs. Her naked boobs. This was new.
“Um, Megs,” I started.
“I like this one!” Vanya threw whatever top she was holding at the time at Megs’s chest. It happened to be her P.E uniform. Megs threw it to the 'hell no' pile.
“Look at them.” She said. “Look at the left one, it’s growing as big as a porn star’s but then look at the right. It looks like my dad’s boobs!” I didn’t exactly want to, but since she was being so demanding about it, I checked out her boobs. I looked from the left to the right and back again.
“They look fine to me.”
“They’re not fine!”
“What do you think Van?” Vanya huffed, shook her head, walked over, bent at the waist and squinted at Megs’s boobs.
“You say the left one’s bigger?” She asked.
“It is!”
“I don’t think you have to worry. The other one’ll catch up.” Van stood up and crossed her arms with a nod.
“And besides, Mrs. McCleary said it’s perfectly normal to have one boob bigger than the other.” I reassured her.
“You see it too, then?” Megs looked panic stricken. “That the left is bigger?”
“No!” Vanya and I both shouted.
“You don’t?”
“Your boobs are fine, Megs.” I told her, picking up a baby pink singlet from the ‘maybe’ pile. I handed it to her slowly. Thankfully, she clutched it to her chest.
“I think that’d look good with some long necklaces, don’t you?”

Miss Jem's Blog
SUBJECT: A bloody ambush.

I went on a group date yesterday. It was more Megs and Dev going on a date but neither of them were brave enough to admit that’s what it was so they made their friends come with them too. Taking one for the team, I like to call it. And boy does Megs owe me. Van and I made sure that of the three of us, Megs was most definitely the hottest one, so as not to distract him from his date. (I’m not saying he’s the type of boy who would be on a date with someone and see another cute chick and go off with her instead. We don’t know him well enough to determine if that’s something he’d do. But we don’t think he’d do it. But still, we don’t really know him.) Anyway, Megs was the one looking hot, Van and I had clearly put in less effort. Anyway, it turns out the boys in our class who he’s decided are his actual mates are Lachie – a top bloke, everyone agrees – and…Cam. This doesn’t say much for his taste in boys. But apparently he made sure not to invite the Ho Bag because he really doesn’t like her. And he DOES like Megs, so maybe he’s got some taste after all.
Anyway, you’d think my girls would nip this potentially disastrous situation in the bud, wouldn’t you? I mean, me and Cam? But no. The losers didn’t wait for me when I nipped to the bathrooms before the movie started and when I got in, the only spot for me was on the end of the row. Next to Cam. I was bloody seething, let me tell you. Bunch of traitors!
I didn’t even say anything to him when I sat down, didn’t even look at him though I was fully watching him out of the corner of my eye. I just stuffed my mouth with popcorn and stared at the screen, no matter what was happening. Sex scene? Not awkward and embarrassing at all. I was riveted. Halfway through the movie though (it was some stupid action thing with car chases and corny one liners and though the characters had been shot and beaten up a gazillion times they weren’t even limping. It was so dumb I can’t remember it’s name. Dev picked it. Not a good sign…) I felt something on my hand. It was Cam’s! Cam was holding my hand! I didn’t know WHAT to do. Did I let him, did I move it away, did I throw all my popcorn into his lap and storm out in a hissy fit? While all this was running through my head, I was sitting there with his hand on top of mine, sort of curling around my hand. Then he turned it over and held it properly and next thing I knew I was sitting in the movie theatre holding Cam’s hand.
He leaned over to me and went to say something in my ear.
He went “I-”
“Sssshhhhh!” That was the Old Biddy behind us who couldn’t hear the movie over all the noise she was making with her packet of Jaffas. Cam pulled away and was staring at the screen for a full five minutes before he tried it again. All he got out was “I-” before the Old Biddy shushed him again! She didn’t have any problem hearing over the slurping noises down the other end as Megs and Dev sucked each other’s faces off. So yeah. I never found out what he wanted to say. He’s with the Ho Bag but he was holding my hand. What does that mean? When the movie finished it was all like nothing had happened, and when the boys were gone Megs and Vanya were all apologetic that I had to sit next to him. I forgave them, but I didn’t tell them about the hand holding. I don’t know why. They don’t read this blog so I don’t have to worry about them finding out just yet.

No questions today. I have too many of my own.
Miss Jem

Posted by Miss Jem @ 10:13 AM

Comment by Confuzzled Boy:
Maybe he doesn’t know what he wants. Girls are confusing.

Posted by Confuzzled Boy @ 1:27 AM