Excerpt: Worst Novel Ever

The wind blew hard over the rising antelope slopes of the faraway cattle ranch in Montebago. Theodora sat and chewed on her Cow Cud. “Yum yum” she thought. The sunset reminded her of those many late evenings watching over the Blagosphere valley yodeling out a carrot-masher mating call. She quickly packed up her knapsack and saddled up on Yodi, her Kale-rider. She needed to get back home before the craddies started coming out of their nests for their nightly scavenging.