Excerpt: Fall Rising

Chapter 1

Everything hurts. But nothing as bad as seeing what was done to my son. My ribs are bruised. My face and neck. All my money’s gone. But that doesn’t matter. Not when I look at my four-year-old and see that he was marked by this. He fell asleep with an ice pack on his face. When I called Legend she said that’s it. When she moves this fall for school, we‘re going, too…

Jess hurriedly closed the notebook where she’d written about the night she’d been attacked outside the grocery store. She and her son Christian had been ready to go since seven o’clock this morning. Three hours had passed, and now she sat at the little table in the hotel room, where they had lived for several months, waiting for her best friend, and her parents, to come and take them out of here.

She was nervous about college, but knew that she didn’t have a choice. She had to do what was best for Christian. Besides, she couldn’t very well have prayed for months that God provide a way out and then not take it because she was scared.

But she was. So scared. She hadn’t even finished high school, since she had Christian over Christmas break, in her junior year. After that, she just never went back. Not until Legend’s parents explained how she could get better jobs if she had her diploma. So she’d studied hard, between shifts at her crappy job to take the General Educational Development tests. Nobody told her she might not pass them all the first time. But she kept at it, asking Legend’s parents for help when she had no other choice. She had eventually done it. She’d even gone to community college to get some classes under her belt, just in case - half-heartedly going for her AA degree. But that never happened. Instead, she’d been stuck working a crappy job as a server at a hole-in-the-wall restaurant, where all the male clientele grabbed her butt every time she walked past the bar.

She still didn’t have much money saved, though. Between paying for the room, laundry, groceries and stuff for Christian there was hardly any left. Jess never knew how they made it month to month. Then, she was attacked. Legend, her best friend all through school, had armed her with a can of mace, some basic self-defense knowledge, and a promise. Jess and Christian could come and live with her when she started college again in the fall. Legend would work on getting Christian on the waiting-list for the on-campus daycare/preschool program. The catch was that Jess had to enroll as a student.

So, Jess, who had loathed everything school and learning-related as far back as she could recall, spent time looking through options for majors. She knew she had to get work as soon as possible, and when she was between dental assistant and nursing, Jess chose nursing easily enough. Her rationale? She hated dentists.

Now, she was set to start taking classes towards her new career choice. She didn’t flinch the Anatomy and Physiology course she signed up for, even though with the class came dissection of animals and organs - Jess could handle that. If it would help her provide for her son, Jess was all for it.

The clock radio was on the contemporary Christian station, like it was twenty-four hours a day, so CJ could listen for TobyMac, his favorite artist.

“Libby…Emily…Morgan…” Christian sang to himself in time with the music, clutching Legos in one hand, and a cracker with cheese in the other. He concentrated on the cracker. He had used the spray-cheese to make a C, for his name.

Jess smiled. Her little boy was sitting on top of their single box of possessions, practicing the names of their new roommates. He wore camouflage shorts and a red tee shirt with SpongeBob on the front. He’d successfully kept the outfit mostly clean for several days, except for a streak of cheese down the front. But Jess didn’t comment on it. She knew she looked more grungy than that in her blue and grey pajama pants and gray tee shirt. She had nothing else clean, and they’d have access to laundry soon enough. Christian’s curly mop of dark hair fell in his eyes as he studied the cracker and said the names again.

“Hey,” she teased. “What about me and you? What about Legend?”

“Mom! I know that, silly,” he giggled. Suddenly he looked up at her with serious brown eyes, “Is Morgan a girl-Morgan?”

Jess bit her lip, to keep from laughing. “Yes, Morgan’s a girl. All the people at our new apartment are girls,” she explained.

“But I’m not,” Christian countered, sounding concerned at thought that his mom could have forgotten such an all-important fact.

“Nope. You’re Mom’s special boy,” Jess told him certainly, crossing the room to give him a kiss. “How’s your owie?” she asked sympathetically. The bruise under his eye had turned an angry purple in the recent days.

Christian shrugged. He held out the cracker.

“Look I made a C on here.”

Inside, Christian felt the bad feeling come back, when the robber got his mom and beat her all up. He remembered going to the store late because they needed milk and cereal for breakfast. They went outside where the cars were and a robber came and said for his mom to give all her money.

His mom shoved him away very hard behind her, and said their secret word called Legend. The one that meant, call for help. He ran as speedy fast as he could back to the hotel but the door was locked up tight and no people let him come in. Christian could still hear his mom screaming, so he went back.

When he saw the robber hitting his mom and kicking her, Christian got so mad inside he ran to push the robber off. But the robber did swears at him and hit him very hard so his eye turned into a bruise underneath. Christian fell down and hit his head and started crying. He didn’t like to think about that time. So he showed his mom the C he did on the cracker instead.

Jess looked at the cracker. The C looked malformed, but she praised it anyway.

“That’s awesome! What’s starts with C?” she quizzed.

“C, C, Christian!” he said proudly. He wrapped his arms around his mom’s neck tightly, and said into her ear, “I‘m just like you, huh?”

“You bet you are,” Jess agreed, trying not to wince at her son‘s chokehold on around her bruised neck. What kind of a mother would she be if she discouraged her son from hugging?

“’Cause I have your kind of hair that’s curly. And your kind of brown eyes. And your kind of smile, like this,” Christian tried out his best one, showing all his teeth.

Jess giggled. “You are such a goofball. Come on, do you have all your stuff?”

Christian nodded, tossing his little Lego boat into the plastic bag that held a book from the cereal box, and his dirty clothes.

Jess walked down the hall, holding Christian’s hand, knowing that most people assumed he wasn’t hers. That most people looked down on her for holding the hand of a little boy who wasn’t Caucasian like her but biracial. She loved his brown-sugar skin, dark eyes, and curly hair. She hated that most people couldn’t see what was obvious to her: he had her dimple, her laugh, her personality. He was hers. Even if they didn’t match, he was just like her.

Standing outside, holding his bag, Christian studied the people, and squinted. “Mom? Is God’s favorite color brown? ‘Cause there’s lots of brown people. And only one pink person,” he pointed out, looking at her.

Jess blinked. It wasn’t the first time that she and her little boy were subconsciously thinking of the same thing at the same moment. “I don’t know… What do you think?”

Christian considered this. “I think…God’s favorite color is probably every color He makes people, ’cause He loves everybody,” he finished thoughtfully.

Jess felt her heart swell at the love in her child.

He saw a big truck coming. It was red. Then he saw Legend’s puffy hair.

“Mom!” he screamed. “Legend’s here!” He made his feet stand still and not run out to the car until it stopped all the way, like his mom taught him, even though he was very excited.

Legend got out the minute it stopped and ran up to them, taking the single box from Jess and the plastic bag from Christian. Horrible bruises still ringed her friend’s neck and blackened her face. Even little Christian had a black eye. It made Legend sick, and angry enough to break something.

“Hey, guys,” she greeted, walking up in flip-flops, a light blue tee shirt and gray sweats. At least Jess never needed to worry about feeling underdressed next to her friend.

“Sorry we’re late. Daddy had to stop for some doughnuts. Did you get breakfast?” Legend asked, tossing their meager luggage in the back of the truck. She was glad she’d thought to bring the extra futon she’d begged her parents for, and never really used, except when Jess spent the night. There would be no way, she was going to afford a box spring or mattress.

“Doughnuts! Woo-hoo!” Christian cheered.

“I let him finish off the crackers and spray cheese this morning,” Jess said. “I didn’t see the point in getting more food just for the car trip.”

Legend nodded, understanding what her friend wasn’t saying: the move had come just in time.

“Hey, Jess. Hey, Christian. Y’all ready?” Legend’s dad, Joe, asked from the driver’s seat.

Jess made sure CJ was buckled securely in the middle back seat, between herself and Legend, trying to fight the irrational guilt over not having bought him a car seat. She didn’t have a car. What sense did it make? Still, she was nervous that Christian wouldn’t be as safe as he could be.

Once they were settled, Legend’s mom, Jody, handed back the doughnuts.

“All ready to start a new adventure?” she asked, looking sadly at Jess and Christian, still so badly bruised.

“Yay!” Christian cheered happily.

Beside him, Legend opened the doughnut box and that made Christian feel like doing his happy dance. There was chocolate doughnuts, and sprinkle doughnuts, and sugar doughnuts. There was yucky doughnuts, too, with jelly, but Christian didn’t look at them.

“Which one do you want?” Jess prompted, knowing her son’s affinity for anything colorful.

His eyes were huge, as he indicated a very specific doughnut with sprinkles. Jess picked it out and handed it to him with a napkin.

“Thank you, Joe and Jody,” he called, without being reminded.

“You’re welcome, honey.” Jody answered.

As Joe tuned the radio to the station she and Christian spent day and night listening to, Jess felt like hugging him. She didn’t know what she would have done without Legend and her family.

Jess knew that her own parents didn’t care about her whatsoever. She hadn’t seen her mom since she was three, and her dad disowned her after she told him she was pregnant. She had grown up in the Miller’s house, and Jess especially looked up to Jody, who was beautiful - not really slim with kind blue eyes and sandy brown hair. She wanted to be just like her when she grew up. She loved her family and was always there for them. She kept a nice house, had a great job as a nurse, and always made everybody feel welcome.

Legend’s dad was nice too. He was black, and really tall. Jess always thought he should play a sport, but Legend had always maintained that he didn’t know how, and that’s why he was a lawyer. Jess had to admit Legend was closer to him than to her mom, and Jess never knew why. To Jess, Joe was tough, and strict with high expectations. But that was the way Legend thrived.

When Jess and Legend were eleven, and he confiscated the new CD (the one her dad didn’t know Jess had shoplifted earlier) and said the girl on the cover was dressed “like a hoochie” and the lyrics of her songs “invited abuse” Jess had gone on the warpath. When Legend’s parents had gone out, and she and Legend were there alone, Jess had searched their house, high and low, to get the CD back. She called Legend’s parents Communists, and Legend had rebelliously agreed, even though Jess had known she really didn’t think that. Joe and Jody had gotten home earlier than expected, and found her searching their bedroom closet.

Jess leaned her head against the window and looked out, having accepted a chocolate doughnut for herself. She stared at the scenery, feeling glad they were leaving their past behind, and starting fresh in a new place.

Letting her mind drift again, Jess thought back to the night that had changed everything for them. She had known it wasn’t smart to go out near midnight for cereal and milk, but Christian had to eat, and he hadn’t gotten supper that night, because they were out of everything.

They were on their way back, walking through the lot, when Jess heard the familiar voice behind her:

“Gimme all your money.”

She would have laughed - she recognized the voice as James’ - her first boyfriend in high school - but she could feel the knife at her back. When he moved around her, to confirm her suspicions, Jess gave no indication to her young son that she knew who held her at knifepoint, she just shoved him behind her, and said their code-word: “Legend.” It was the word she taught him if, God-forbid, anything like this ever came up.

Jess heard his little feet retreating, and focused on the man in front of her. “What do you want?” she asked, trying not to sound as terrified as she felt. He had always been a jerk, even violent sometimes, but had never pulled a weapon on her.

“Girl, I told you!” James complained. “I need money, and I know you got some. You know, if you just get rid of that kid, we’d be good to go,” he told her, kissing her hard. He was up against her in a way that let her know he had more than money and kissing on his mind.

Jess lashed out, scratching his face, hitting him, screaming - until he laid her out on the ground with a well-placed kick to the stomach. Jess curled up and felt his fists and feet reigning blows on her.

But her body jerked when she heard Christian’s voice, felt his little body try to wedge between them.

“Stop it! Don’t hurt my mom!”

He sounded so desperately grown, the way no child his age should ever have to. Jess couldn’t see anything, but he heard the sound of the rough backhand - the sting of flesh on flesh, and the names her child was being called.

She heard Christian crying for her.

So when the creep crawled on her, and tried for one more kiss, shoving his hands in her pockets and his tongue in her mouth, Jess bit him, merciless, after the way he’d hurt their son.

When he screamed and reared back, cursing at her, and bleeding everywhere, Jess made her move. Legend had taught her wrestling moves when they were kids, before she went to work as a self-defense instructor, and she knew how to take advantage of a distraction.

She wiggled free and grabbed Christian, who was cowering in the lot, as people walked by, doing nothing. Quickly, Jess ducked back inside the store, holding tight to Christian’s hand.

They hid in an aisle, and Jess urged him to be quiet, for nearly an hour until she was sure they could walk back to the hotel without him being there. As Jess stood, staring at the canned tuna and spam, and feeling her child tremble in her arms, though the danger had passed, Jess made a decision never to tell him that the man who stole six dollars from her that night was the same one who had stolen her dignity, and self-respect for years before that.

Jess would never tell Christian that the man who attacked them was Christian’s father.