Excerpt: Scarlet & Gold

She clutched her daughter to her, silently begging her not to go. Gently, She-Who-Was-Deirdre broke the embrace. She looked into her mother’s eyes.
“I must go, Mother.”
Gwendolyn shook her head, biting her lip in denial, holding back the words. And losing. “No,” came the agonized whisper. “No. You can’t. Deirdre…” The name was a plea, a prayer filled with longing.
The red haired squaw bent her head until her forehead touched her mother’s, eyes closed tightly against the pain she knew she was causing. “Can’t you see,” she whispered. “I can’t stay. I just… can’t.”
“But it will be different now,” Gwendolyn babbled, her words urgent, tumbling over each other in a rush. “You’ll see. The village… it’s not the same now. It can’t be. The villagers will…”
“Shun me as they’ve been doing since I returned four years ago. You know it’s true, Mother. Please. I must go. I can’t … I don’t belong here anymore.” Tears leaked out from under eyelids squeezed tight.
“What shall I do without you, mo cridhe? You’re my heart,” Gwendolyn murmured to her eldest
“Persevere, Mother. You must. You knew I must leave this house eventually.”
“Aye, but I figured it was to marry… and there would be visits and… grandbabies… and…”
Deirdre smiled softly at what might have been. “Aye, likely ‘twas true… once. But after what’s happened. Mother, I couldn’t stay. I am too different. And different doesn’t fit here… not anymore.”
Gwendolyn pulled back slightly, her gaze solemn. Deirdre opened her eyes and returned her mother’s gaze. Gwendolyn thought to deny the statement, as if denying it would make it any less true. But then, looking into the depths of the eyes of the daughter no longer a child to be sheltered and coddled, she reconsidered. Deirdre was right. She was too different. Her years away had changed her – forever. It was foolish to think otherwise. But would she fit in any better with the White Elk? Would they accept her when her own people couldn’t?
The call of an owl hooted from the trees, far closer and earlier than any self-respecting owl had a right to be. Deirdre turned towards the sound A mixture of emotions crossed her face – fear, doubt, excitement, relief. She turned back to her mother. “It is time.”
Gwendolyn let her arms drop to her sides. She had tried her best. Now he best would be to release her daughter into the wilderness with prayers and hopes. And perhaps one day she would see her again.
“Go with God, my daughter. Know that should you ever wish … you always have a place here,” she said, involuntarily clutching her hand to her heart.
With a grace that Gwendolyn rarely acknowledged, Deirdre returned the gesture – hand clutched to hear – and bowed her head. Then swiftly she turned and ran lightly to the forest’s edge. Her throat closed and her eyes burned, yet she kept her course. It was better this way, to leave this place where so much hurt and distrust thrived. At the edge of the trees, she stopped. Just a little further in she could see the braves waiting to escort her to the tribe. They blended into the scarlet and gold foliage with their copper skin and yellow leathers, still as statues. On a travois near by lay the body of Warrior of the Sun. They were taking him back to their village to perform the Rites of the Dead to send him on his way to the Great Spirit. It was right that she should take this final journey with him. Still… She turned and looked back.
Her mother, the woman who had borne her, nursed and raised her, taught her the arts of being a woman, stood there in the door yard, her hand still clutched to her heart. Deirdre – Flame Hair Sister – echoed the gesture once more. Then she reached out with that same hand towards her mother, tears streaming down her cheeks. In her own silent way, she said farewell. She turned one last time and slipped into the scarlet and gold of the trees like a shadow.
Gwendolyn watched as her daughter turned away. In her heart, she keened the dreadful wail of a mother losing a favored child. In her heart, the wail went on forever. But outwardly she was silent and as Deirdre melted into the forest, she reached her heart hand to her lips, kissed them lightly and then stretched them out towards the barely quaking leaves of scarlet and gold.