The Hollow Men
an excerpt

Cliches I have worked into my novel so far:

1. The MC is an orphan named Jack.
2. A shiny Diablo 2-esque portal.
3. An alternate realm.
4. A scene where people who don't speak the same language communicate in gestures and somehow manage to introduce themselves.
5. A walled city.
6. An oppressed populace.
7. An evil but beautiful sorceress.
8. A character who looks like they belong in anime.
9. A character who has white hair even though they appear to be young.
10. The MC learning skills they've never encountered before in a stupidly short space of time.
11. The illegitimate son of a king.
12. Who is also a redhead.
13. A Mysterious Curse
14. Snarky pop culture references
15. An assassin with cold dead eyes.
16. A bard with crippled hands.
17. MC finds out that he's really from the alternate realm!
18. A past betrayal by the illegitimate son.
19. A clandestine meeting at the top of a tower.
20. A fantasy environment consisting almost entirely of men.
21. Somebody actually using the line "The living are far more frightening than the dead."
22. A secret tunnel in an underground crypt.
23. The line "eyes as green as poison."
24. The MC falls for the old "I know an inn, this way, come with me down a dark alley so I can mug you" trick!
25. A magical ring.
26. Deus ex machina (well, deus ex magical ring, anyway)
27. An ammoral magical sidekick. (Yay!)
28. A non-human character who talks in an old-fashioned way and doesn't use contractions.
29. A fantasy world that nonetheless has coffee.
30. And Earth food (in this case the Full English breakfast).
31. Buxom serving-wenches.
32. An evil conquering invader.
33. Who is overthrown by an army far smaller than his own.
34. Something momentous happening during a thunderstorm.
35. A name which doesn't fit with the rest of the society for no apparent reason.
36. A displaced monarch.
37. Who was a younger son and never meant to rule.
38. A bookish librarian.
39. The amoral magical sidekick knew all along how to defeat the evil sorceress - but didn't say because no one asked him.
40. The MC is the only one who can save the kingdom from the Mysterious Curse!
41. The amoral magical sidekick is being taught how to lie.
42. An ideal opportunity to Save The Day is presented, but immediately snatched away by events out of the MCs control, forcing him to try again later.
43. Someone is tortured by being shown their Greatest Fears.
44. The MC forgets something important that nearly gets him killed.
45. A (fake) prophecy.
46. A blatant rip-off of Shakespeare.
47. Someone dies by falling on the protagonist's sword during a fight.
48. There is a scene in which the reflections in a ballroom mirror give the protagonist away.
49. There is a battle, in which none of the central characters die.
50. The MC is shot in the chest, only to be saved by something he put in his breast pocket earlier in the novel.
51. An epilogue which includes a ceremony in which the hero is rewarded
52. The MC has to choose between remaining in the alternate realm or going home.
53. An unexpected twist at the end that paves the way for a potential sequel...