Excerpt: Call Me Irresponsible

Call Me Irresponsible

Chapter One: Coffee and Donuts

“Vinny! You watch that 14 inning game last night?” Tommy called out, beaming as his old friend walked through the door of the donut shop.

“Nah, I went to bed after the 5th inning. No way Chicago isn’t gonna win this thing.” Vinnie shrugged and headed up to the counter for his coffee.

“Yeah, well, you missed some excitement. I thought the Astros were gonna pull it out for awhile, after they tied it up in the 8th on two outs.”

“Nah, it shouldn’t have been a tie, Tommy, you saw the replay for Lane’s homer, it hit the wrong side of the foul line. The Astros shoulda lost that game in the 9th inning the usual way. What’s more, they are not gonna win tonight,” Vinnie said smugly, turning back to Jack at the counter, who watched Tommy and Vincent with his usual bemused expression. He was used to their bickering, everyone was. It was the morning entertainment at Coffee and Donuts, the shop Jack owned and ran in Sea View, New Jersey. There used to be a sign above the Coffee and Donuts sign, establishing the name of the owner, but when Jack bought the place, he just took it down and left the other one to stand on its own. After all, he reasoned, it told people all they needed to know about what they’d find inside. And Sea View residents have long called it Coffee and Donuts anyway, though some have taken to referring to it as “Jack’s Place.”

Jack smiled at Vinnie as he handed him his coffee, “That’s a pretty unusual ball field, right? I mean, it’d have been a homer at Yankee Stadium, for sure.” Lucy, Jack’s assistant, looked at him in utter astonishment. She doesn’t understand why Jack regularly enjoys feeding the arguments between Vinnie and Tommy, especially when he doesn’t enjoy being teased about his own little obsessions and peculiarities.

Tommy is a Mets fan and Vincent is a Yankees fan. They tend to take opposing sides on most questions, as a matter of fact, but neither of them has ever appeared to be concerned by this, as they have been friends for many years without ever seeming to be angry with each other, though they are in a near constant state of mild disagreement.

Tommy said, “I like those long baseball games, when you never know if the next pitch or the next hit will be the one that ends the game.”

Vinny said, “Tommy, for the rest of us, it’s like watching paint dry. How can you care enough about two teams you hardly paid attention to all year enough to watch them do nothing for over 5 hours?”

“You are not a real fan, Vinny. It’s about the glory of the game. If you were a real fan, you’d know that.”

Mayor Black came in just then, bringing her mug to the counter for Jack to fill with a tea ball containing her special blend, and hot water just off the boil. Her timing is precise, so he’s always ready for her. Jack’s never completely gotten over his first love feelings for Rachel Black, though they have been merely close friends for the past twenty years. The mayor brings in her own mug, being highly environmentally conscious, and encourages the other regulars to do so as well.

“Hi, Jack. You’ll never believe what’s on the agenda for this Saturday morning’s meeting!” Mayor Black holds community meetings at Coffee and Donuts each week, and “concerned citizens” attend in order to have a say in what goes on around here, or to actually participate in community projects.

“Is it about the theater parking again? Because if we don’t charge for that, we’ll never be able to buy new lights for the stage, you know.”

“No, this is something altogether brand-new. Get this: Ed Valentine wants us to erect a statue in honor of the town’s founder, Ashley Dexter!: Rachel grinned at Jack while shaking her head in disbelief. “And he started an informal petition at the library. He has over 100 signatures on it!”

Jack laughed, “Seriously? I thought that guy was supposed to have been a charlatan or something, name in infamy, etc. I mean, my mom says no one even remembers anything about him, but I always thought that was because they didn’t think he was suitable or proper as a town hero.”

Rachel said, “Well, Ed says he was looking over old town historical documents, and by the way, I do think we should make sure it’s all archived digitally and then better preserved, and he says people don’t know the full story about Dexter, and that he was maligned, and that we should be more proud of our heritage, etc. He plans to give us a report on Saturday.”

“Rachel, you know what a ruckus this is going to start. First, people will argue he was no good. Then they’ll argue where to put it, how big it should be, what it will be made of, what a plaque on it will say, and then they’ll argue over how it will be paid for. Do you really want to go down this path? Will it affect the election in some way?” Jack eyed her thoughtfully. He didn’t think it was like Rachel to make purely vote-getting moves, but as much as he cares for her, no question she is a politician these days, when you get down to the matter.

“The election is in 10 days, Jack. I highly doubt this will affect the matter in any way. Besides, you must not have been paying attention. I’m running against both of the Cary twins, and they seem to be splitting their vote nearly right down the middle. If only one if them had run, they might have stirred up a real race. But you know how they are.” The mayor smiled, then brought her mug over to a table near some of the other regulars, calling back, “Just be prepared with a couple extra dozen donuts on Saturday. I think this one’s going to draw a crowd!”