Excerpt:

Prologue

The girl dipped her toe cautiously into the smooth, cool water of the lake. She gasped at the chill but wanted more. The day had been so hot. She kicked off the other flip flop and waded in to calf height. It was blissful. She looked around her, up to the high mountains and then down at the lakeside, the shingle beaches edging the shimmering blue-grey of the water. There was no-one around and only the occasional cry of some far off bird of prey disturbed the total tranquility. The girl suddenly felt very alone; this tableau in which she had found herself was everything. She felt she had to be an ever more entwined part and suddenly she experienced a strong, almost emotional pull from the water. She sunk to her waist, the chiffon layer of her skirt floating around her like a tutu. The early evening sun beamed down on her, as if to urge her on, and she began to swim further from the shore. She was not used to this Mediterranean climate and so the cold of the water was such a relief. The clarity of the lake water was incredible - she could see clearly to the lake bed and watch the swaying ferns below and the tiny fishes swimming in between them. She felt like a mermaid, her skirt swishing behind her like a tail. Suddenly, she decided she wanted to see the sun again and so she turned onto her back to let the sun’s rays warm her face. She floated on the surface of the water, with her arms outstretched above her head and her skirt fanned wide. She remained like this, floating out across the lake for what seemed like hours but was probably only minutes, feeling such a sense of stillness and contentment when, suddenly, everything changed.

The stillness of the lake was brutally disturbed by an eddy, which whipped and swirled the water. The girl found herself turning on the surface of the water, the ferns rising from below to wrap around her. She didn’t understand what was happening but knew she needed to get back to the calmness of the lake, so she struck out for that stretch of water that she could see. It was easily within her reach, only a few strokes away.

But it was as if the lake had other ideas, it had found a prey and working together the water and the ferns and the current battled against the girl. She continued to strike out but could only dance a dervish in the swirling water against her will, her skirt twisting its way around her legs and waist. The ferns pulled ever tighter against her ankles and calves and she was suddenly a part of the eddy, turning and turning as the water washed over her head. Her long brown hair twisted around her face as she swirled ever deeper. She barely had time to realise what was happening before the calmness of resignation took hold. Her heart and lungs felt full to bursting as her short life filled her brain. She cried out silently as she thought of all those people who would care, her parents and her new boyfriend, who might never know where she had gone or why. They would mourn the passing of such a young life, a life full of the promise of university and a rosy future. She struck out once more for the surface, feeling a little more strength left in her. She battled to the air and took a gasp, feeling once again the warm sun on her face. She could reach the safe water once more.

But almost immediately, the knowledge hit with a deadening blow that she had not reached the surface, the warmth that she thought she could feel was not from the sun. She remained on the lake bed, her feeble strokes serving to do nothing but tire her out. However, in a haze of darkness and the swirling water, she could see a figure on the surface, a shadowy but distinctly human outline, with swirling clothing and swimming strongly. She wanted to call out but knew that to do so would mean certain death. But she needed a breath so badly. How could the figure not know she was there. She frantically tried to reach up to make contact but the water became black and, with the ferns twisting and swirling around her and the sound of the swirling water in her ears, she knew no more.
Chapter 1

Megan 2002

“Muuummm, I don’t want to go swimming. Can you write me a note?” the young boy said, sitting on the bottom step of the stairs with his chin in his hands, looking up with what he hoped were beseeching eyes at his long-suffering mother.

“No, I cannot,” his mother answered swiftly, “There’s no reason at all for you not to go swimming. It’s really important you learn, you know.”

“Yeah, but I can’t my find my trunks and, anyway, I’m not feeling very well.”

“Oh really, do you feel ill?” Megan softened her voice and engineered a deeply sympathetic tone. “Well you’re right then. Maybe you shouldn’t go swimming, but you probably shouldn’t go to Josh’s tonight either then. You don’t want to give him anything. What do you think?”

“Oh it’s not that bad. I think I’ll be OK by then. It’s just today.”

“Come off it, Tom. You’re fine. I know you don’t like swimming. But you’re going. And that’s final,” she said, producing the lost trunks from the pile of washing she was carrying. “Put them in your bag.”

Tom took the trunks reluctantly, stuffing them into his rucksack. He remained sitting on the step, his head sinking further into his hands. Megan could see that he was thinking of another way to get out of it. She was intrigued. Why was swimming such a trouble for Tom? It wasn’t that the teachers had any worries about it. He’d passed his ten metres with no real problems but it caused a weekly battle when the timetabled session came round.

“What is it with swimming, Tom?” she asked more gently. “I really think I need to know.”

“No time now, Mum. We’re gonna be late,” Tom looked at his watch. Although Megan know full well that this was just stalling, she had to accept that he was right, mornings were often a bit of a dash, with both the children to get out to school in good time and John to talk to, as well, before he set off to work.

“Where’s Sophie?” she raised her voice a little, in case Tom couldn’t answer and Sophie happened to be within earshot.

“I’m just here, Mum!” Sophie’s face peered around the bannister at the top of the stairs. “Just getting my shoes on”.

Sophie was a little star of a daughter. She was like a part of Megan that Megan herself felt she had lost years ago, she was so ambitious and keen to learn. School was a joy for her and she did as much as possible outside it too. Swimming wasn’t her favourite thing on the timetable either though, Megan had to admit. She really hoped that it wasn’t her fault. Fear is a very easy thing to pass to your children but she had been so careful to leave most of the swimming related business to John that she couldn’t see that she had had any effect at all. But then perhaps the leaving it to John was, in itself, an obvious giveaway that something wasn’t quite right. Ah well, there wasn’t much she could do about that now.

The priorities of the day soon shoved worries about the more detailed responsibilities of parenthood to once side. John left for work, as always, just before the rest of the family, packed lunch prepared by Megan in hand and heading to the car for his half-hour commute into the town centre.

Megan herself, grabbed the coats for the two children and did a final check that everyone had everything they needed, a towel for Tom to go with the trunks and Sophie’s art folder being the last minute crucial additions. And then they were off, taking the short walk along with a number of other families on the estate, to the local primary school. Megan found it a source of constant wonder how it was that every morning could feel so chaotic. It wasn’t even as if she had loads of children and she wasn’t holding down some high-flying career like some of the mothers she saw at the school gates. Mind you, they usually looked like they were about to drop where they stood, so she, once again, thanked her lucky stars that she had, back then, so suddenly made up her mind to focus on her family.

That morning, they quickly caught up with Becky and her two sons, James and Luke. Becky was one of Megan’s favourites amongst the mothers. She was also a stay-at-home mum and this made Megan feel more comfortable around her, less competitive somehow. Tom and Luke were in the same year group and so this was a good friendship to nuture, Megan thought. Sophie strode on ahead of the group, being a year older than James and three older than the other two boys, she liked to maintain a certain dignified distance during these walks to school.

“Do you fancy a coffee before heading home this morning, Becky?” Megan suggested. “I’ve got too much washing to do to want to go straight back.”

“Mmm, that sounds like a good plan to me. The usual place?” The usual place was a smart but not overly expensive new coffee bar just five minutes away from the school. It made an excellent stop off but Megan and Becky tried not to do it too often as it was far too easy to whittle away time there, usually thereby leaving Megan with a distinct sense of underachievement by the end of the day.