Anybody out there besides me have a crappy Thanksgiving? Commiserate with me. Here's the absolutely sincere letter I wrote last night to my brother in L.A.; the letter I have to write today after the bitch-fight at my other brother's house in Raleigh should be even more pathetic.
Bobby, Sta', Bella and Deanie,
Hi!
We had a pre-Thanksgiving dinner tonight. Bianca, Celeste, Bethany, Jorge, Hawaii, Sandra and my new daughter, Becky all came. Rayshawn and Fred were also invited, but couldn't make it for separate reasons. I fixed a really bangin' turkey, broccoli, carrots, whipped red potatoes, french rolls and pumpkin pie (which I hate, but everyone else likes). I put on the long white tablecloth, Bobby Darrin's greatest hits and those religious Mexican candles for the kids, while Sandra and I sat on the couch with our Pinot Grigio and Marlboro Ultra-Lights 100s. It's amazing how much stuff we learned about the kids! Bethany's baby will be here before Valentine's Day, and the guy she thinks might possibly be the father might possibly be in Durham, maybe. My old new black daughter, Jessica, got arrested for assault and it was video-taped by her other friend on his cell phone. Becky's boyfriend, Mario, moved back to Brooklyn today, and should be there shortly after midnight (hopefully) before the BOLO goes out on the vehicle. Celeste was able to make it through the entire meal without using any silverware; did I mention the whipped potatoes? Hawaii's sister's lover is the same dike that always flirts with Sandra at Best Buys. Jorge's driver's license says his name is Chiang Sum Yung, and he paid 200 bucks for it. (In all fairness to him, he recently quit carrying it for fear he'd get caught and deported to the PRMC.) Sandra's daughter spends over 500 dollars a month on weed. Bianca loves her classes. Sandra got a second job for the DHS at RDU. A good time was had by all.
Tomorrow, Ingrid is having the family Thanksgiving at their house. While I told Ingrid that I was behind on my book, and needed to catch up, I told Granny, mind you, I told GRANNY, that since Ingrid was inviting some friend who just recently got dumped with three babies, two of them 1-year-old twins, the other under three, I didn't think I'd feel comfortable getting all liquored up and cussing at the table they way I usually would, as I know those kids would be dandled on mommy's knee and spoon-fed right there in the dining room with the adults, and I'd be obligated to issue the perfunctory "aw how adorable" no matter what. (Long sentence.) That was why I wanted to do this dinner for my kids tonight so they could have their friends all together around the table... we'd have done it tomorrow except that Ingrid made the plans for her house for tomorrow, and both Bianca and Jorge work Friday. Today, Granny called me up to say that Ingrid wanted to let me know that we could come at 1:00, and the dumped friend wouldn't be there til four, so she (Ingrid) hoped I'd change my mind and come after all. (See above for chain of info.)
Apparently we'll all be out there tomorrow, but I might take my laptop to do a little sumpn-sumpn on it upstairs after getting liquored up and cussing at the table, and before driving home on expired tags. (I got a ticket for that today.)
I hope that all y'all have a really great Thanksgiving! I guess you're thankful about reopening contract negotiations. I hope you get the share you deserve for downloads. DVD's are going to decrease in sale as people start downloading it all instead, anyway. Good luck!
Love always,
sis
PS: My Name Is Earl ROCKS!!!
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be careful what you say to me; you may end up in my next novel!
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