Have you no guilt...? O_o

At first I didn't tell anyone, not even my husband. Then I told a few close friends in a writers' group we just formed, and they wanted to see it. I held back, warning them they wouldn't like it, but they kept saying, "bring it on!" So I did. A little of the tamer stuff. And now one of the people in the group won't come back. And I hadn't even gotten to the kinky stuff. Maybe I'll just hand out pages and let the group choose to read it or not, and I won't read anything out loud any more. Heck with them.

what I find the most amusing is that, while I don't write erotica, I certaintly hint around enough and the few friends that I have let read my stuff have managed to turn it all dirty, and it's even worse because of the implications. They are now of the opinion that all I write is sexy stuff and don't care about much else.

That sucks, but it is nice to know that they picked up on the stuff i put down that wasn't so obvious. Do i ever worry about people finding it no... but do i tell people that i write with a lot of innuendos... no. I just say fantsy and move on. They aren't interested in it after that and why make the sex, or lack thereof, the only interesting part.

I'm sorry to hear that showing your work backfired on you. It sounds like you're still in high school, and you may be more mature than your peers in being able to view a story allegorically. Also, I think there's often the idea that erotica is always based on what the author finds sexy, which may or may not be totally true. You don't say if the person who spread the rumor was a friend, acquaintance, or what, but regardless, it's a shame.

Personally, when I show my work to people, regardless of genre, I try to gauge how well-matched it is, first. If I think someone might be offended, I don't show it to them, and if I think they might be biased, I might show it to them, but I don't expect too much constructive criticism.

That is a legitimate fear. The world is full of narrow-minded bigots, most of them perfectly nice people most of the time. I do write gay erotica and I don't show it to anyone I know because I don't want to be judged. I post my writing on the internet because I don't give a shit about what strangers think of me.

Hmm. Thank you all kindly for your replies.

Had I shown this allegory to anyone, I would first post it somewhere on the internet under a different screen name. But in person is a totally different matter. This person would be a "close acquaintance." I've known him for a while -- and maybe that can prove to be a little bit of a problem, since I *KNOW* him to be a gay basher, and a sexist. Yeah, he's a little narrow-minded who doesn't get Mormons, but eh... let bigots be bigots, yup?

But I think I'll keep this to myself for a little while. I don't think anyone I know is ready to see this part of me yet. It's all a part of this whole big cliché. I'm sure I'm bound to come across someone who can keep a straight face.

Thanks again.

O gosh, I rember the first time a good friend of got clean. She write IT, a sexscene between two guys. And I was in shock because I never dared to tell her I wrote some stuff to and had read every once in a while. It's kinda funny, because for years we've been avoiding the subject. And i wonder why, I mean i didn't think she's a perve and once we started talking about it a few other friends 'came out of the closets.' I'm still not spreading it out in the open. I mean my mommy would probably die and i don't think my daddy-O will find it very nice if his dear little girl writes slash and angst and a hell lot more.
But the great thing is, you got the big WWW. Here are people that don't know you and think alike.
So thanks WWW^^

No, I have no guilt about what I have written. I had planned and plotted out my nano to be a lovely mystery but then I kept having these dreams of a tale that was erotic so I chose to simply write it and get it out of my system. My writing group found out that I was writing erotic fiction and for the most of them they really disapproved. I had this feeling that they thought it was hard core pornography. I never let any of them read it even though several asked to. My husband read it and it was sent to a critique group who were not "disgusted" by it. But then the next few meetings we had I'd bring some of the mystery stuff I had written. One was written from the eyes of the killer, a serial killer, and there was one line in it that simply stated. "as he manipulated their bodies to his will." OH my god you'd have thought I had described this hugely sexual scene. The funny part is the other mystery and thriller writers in the group got it. It was a description of how the killer hacked his victims to death. But the "leader" of the group read it first and announced to the world that the younger ones, we have some under 18 yo in the group, shouldn't read it.

One of the other writers that writes thrillers and mysteries laughed and told her that she needs to get her mind out of the gutter. That if she had read the rest of the passage she would have realized that the killer was planning how to use his hack saw on his victim. It was a really funny moment because one of the younger kids read it and got it right away but this woman from what one I've heard from others in the group, really disapproved of my writing something that was called erotic fiction. I have no shame in what I wrote. But I do have some hard feelings about this person who now thinks she has to censor everything I write before the group reads anything I write. If it is something that is what I feel is something that a younger person shouldn't read I generally present it in a red folder which has on the front a warning that it is for mature audience's only, contains either sexual, violent or material which is graphic in nature that only an adult should read. This gives the group the option to either read it or pass it on. The group appreciates this and finds that it is respectful and helpful for them to decide if they want to read it or not.

I guess it's funny that I'll read all the others stuff even though it's not in my genre, most of the group writes fantasy and there a few fantasy writers that I enjoy. But I think that we are there to help one another actually with the writing issues not the content.

Porn's fun. Why should I feel guilty about it? :D

Admittedly, I don't show it to everyone I know. I wouldn't do that with anything I wrote, though. As others said, you judge your audience.

If I wrote something about genocide, I would not show it to people I knew were sensitive about that.
If I wrote something with a very strong liberal political voice, I would not anger a conservative friend by presenting it to them.
If I wrote something with a strongly atheistic bent, I wouldn't present it to my religious friends.
If I required something that required the reader to think, I wouldn't give it to any Americans.

Hopefully that last example will show why it is important to pick your audience. The example is a blatant and false attack on the views many here hold dear, and hopefully annoyed you, dear reader, as you read it. Some outside the US might read it and chuckle, but most would at least think it a little "off colour".

Porn's the same as an insult like that, if you show it to the wrong person. But just because it has a limited audience of appreciation doesn't mean you should feel guilty about writing it, any more than you should feel guilty about writing any of the the first three examples I gave.

[I don't really believe Americans are idiots: I'm engaged to one, and she's sharp as a pin and quick as a whip! :D]

No guilt at all. I am choosy about who I allow to read my work. The erotica is under a pen name and the non-fiction is under my real name. I have never tried to write gay erotica, however I know the site Pink Flamingo would love any story other thann mainstream.

I'm always really paranoid about showing my writing to people. However, like most people, I do want feedback on it. So what I do is just post it on the internet. Personally, I post on www.fictioncentral.net, but there are plenty of sites where you can post your writing and get feedback on it. The good thing about the internet is that it provides a lot of anonymity, so if someone doesn't like it and leaves you a bad review, it doesn't cut as deep as getting the same review from one of your friends or family members who you have to see every day and get that "Where do you even come UP with this stuff" look from.

I have no guilt, really. There are a few people I would not want reading my stuff if it's a little...steamy. My parents, for one. Because that's just embarrassing at best. I mean, come on.

Anyone else? If I have the fortune to get published, then have at it.

Very sensitive topic to some people is that of erotic literature. Those that are close-minded and easily offended are those that are sensitive to the subject.. their loss for being prudes.. ;)

I have written two novels of erotica through nanowrimo and I have not shown then to anyone but my wife to tell you the truth. I'm not an easy writer on subjects. I am blunt and to the point in areas and hinting in others, but through it all I have no qualms with using vulgar language. It's part of the scene, it's part of life and that's the way it is. I did find out that my wife did show my writing to her friends and they are still waiting for me to complete the next part. As a male writing erotica it can be rather difficult at times. My mind is very vivid and the pictures I see within my mind while writing prompt the right reactions.
I think that may be why so many that publicly denounce erotica dislike it so. It makes them flush and blush and get all hot and bothered and wet and they dislike people seeing them like that. But that's my opinion of course.

I think I strayed off topic, sorry... Stand tall and proud, your writing is your own creation. Be happy and content with it as such. Never let anyone denounce you for writing any genre, especially something as natural to humans as erotica.

Mark

I'm constantly afraid of this happening. Any time I show my writing to people, I try make sure it's someone I can trust to look at it for the writing itself rather than the subject. And then I try to be in a completely different area when said person reads it (because as much as I write it, I still blush when someone calls me on it). Even though someone once called me "a gay man on the inside", I'm still going to write it because it's fun to write.

But I guess if you write it enough, you just get used to it. If you like it, then that's what counts, right? Or find other people to read it.

Also, might I be able to read it?

No guilt. No guilt whatsoever. *winks wickedly*

However, I wouldn't show any of my works to the born-again Christians on my dad's side of the family. If the sex scenes, especially the lesbian encounters between sisters, don't get them, the relentless anti-religious stuff will.

I don't have any guilt about writing it or trying to get it published. However, I'm very careful whom I share it with. At this point, the only people I show my writing to are girlfriends. Otherwise, I don't share writing samples because I don't know how my friends will handle it.

The funny thing is two of my best friends know about my writing and don't even bat an eyelash. They might be the exception, though.

I'm currently writing/drawing an erotica comic, so I have the visual element to contend with as well (though I do want to try my hand at writing an erotica novel someday). Despite that I don't really feel any guilt over it simply because I love the characters and storyline so much and I really do feel proud of the story. I honestly can't wait until I can show it to a wider audience.

That being said, I am careful about who I tell and show it to at the moment. Right now only my boyfriend (who helps me write it and serves as a type of editor) has seen the actual comic. I have explained the storyline and showed a sketch of one of the main characters to my best friend who simply said "Ooo, I like!". I actually do plan on showing my parents in the future, but only if I feel it has the potential of lasting for a while. Luckily the topic of sex and kinky stuff isn't taboo or frowned upon with them, so I don't think that they'll react too negatively towards it as long as I show that there is an actual storyline and the sex adds to the story (and, to be honest, the setting pretty much requires sex).

However, I wouldn't show this to, say, my grandparents or my boyfriend's parents. Hence I'm planning on publishing it under a penname for now. I don't feel guilty about it whatsoever, but at the same time I know the limits to my openness about it. But even if I get a few or a lot of disapproving remarks about it (and I'm sure that I will once it becomes public), I enjoy writing and drawing it too much to stop. The people who would disapprove isn't the target audience anyway, so why would I stop writing erotica just because some people don't like the genre?

... sex scenes within a larger novel?

Or other types of writing that might just turn family and friends on their heads? I want to publish a book of poetry (maybe), for example, and it has some allusions to homosexuality in it. I've had conversations with my parents about such things--which is why I'd publish said poems under a pen name, if at all.

Worse, though, is the thought of actually putting anything REMOTELY erotic into a larger work that I might have published. Granted, that's still a pipe dream for me, but I live in a family of brilliantly tuned-in bibliophiles, and would be more than a little embarrassed if my dad, aunt, cousins and brother were to read my descriptions of canoodling (no, I'm not a prude, I just love that word).

I can always go the way of certain fantasy authors and imply sex, but never actually describe it, but that's just... so... BORING. Besides, my current novel-esque idea involves four teenagers living in remarkably close quarters. It's not exactly a stretch.

For last year's NaNoWriMo, the novel wasn't purely erotica, but there were a few "love-making scenes" to put it lightly. I've hinted about it with my closest friends, but they all freak out like "What!!" So I quickly say that the scenes aren't graphic; which is a lie for the most part.
I keep it to myself. Even my writer friends have no idea about it. My whole family; oblivious. My mom knows I wrote a novel, but I never, ever spoke of it. I mean, never. I'm pretty sure she forgot about the novel by mid-December.
My point: I have to keep it to myself.

Funny story, I came to this forum to see if writing eroticism was taboo. Good to know it's been done, so it's not. That little tangent aside;
I say, do what you will. Hell, shout it from the mountaintops. Stand tall and let them know that you have written something, You have expressed yourself in a way that they may never be able to. If a person is to condemn someone over something as little as penning the thoughts everyone has, then damn them right back.

Side Note:
Though American, I still chuckled in response to catweasel's last point.

For the past 2 years I have tried to write "Legitimate" novels, not the soft core porn they end up. The fact of the matter is I LIKE writing in this genre. For this next novel I am planning it out carefully and enjoying the journey my mind takes me on.

I have gotten mixed reviews from those I did trust to read my books. Some would look at me as if they wondered what the heck kind of dirty freak I was and others have given me positive feedback, telling me the things they did and did not like about it.

Your writing is exactly that. YOUR writing. It is not anything for anyone else to judge.

I am all for constructive criticisms, but judge me not, because I like what I write and I think I am pretty good at it too. I am working on editing my novel from 2006 to send to publishing houses. Wish me luck!