I know it's not November

karma, I took a look at your first three chapters. I was impressed. Your writing is strong, clear, straightforward. It reminded me of Hemingway's A Farewell to Arms and, even more, of Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment. So it didn't surprise me that you listed Dostoevsky as one of your favorite writers.

Honestly, I'm hesitant to offer you criticism this early in the process. If there's one thing I've learned about writing, especially about writing long fiction, it is this: Just hammer out that first draft. I will say that you caught my attention with your opening paragraph. My immediate thought was, Okay, this guy can write. There are some small things that can be worked on later, when you go back to edit, like maintaining correct tense, clarifying the voice of the narrator (The opening chapter seems to be written in first person; the rest in third person). But these are trifles.

The storyline seems strong, with much potential. I would suggest that you might want to do something to grab the reader a bit more initially. A good piece raises questions early. It causes the reader to ask why is such and such like that? What is going to happen? The sooner you establish tension, the better. But if you can do it in a subtle way, that doesn't give too much information too soon, that is preferred. I just reread the opening paragraphs of Crime and Punishment. Dostoevsky is a master at this. He has his main character hinting at the terrible deed he has been contemplating almost immediately. But he is not heavy-handed.

Surely, keep your eye on the plot but don't lose sight of the setting and surroundings of your characters. Make every word, every gesture, every nod of the head count. Your dialogue is excellent. You have a great ear. But outside the quotes don't forget to describe the actions of the characters. The part where the brothers are talking almost reads like a play. Remember it is your job to describe each scene to your reader. Make it come alive. So keep hammering it out but don't rush through your story. Of course, whatever you miss, you can always go back and flesh out. I think you are doing great. Keep at it!

I read and enjoyed what was shown on your site.

I think the previous poster covered most of what I was going to say- you have a strong and distinctive voice and I can see this being a beautiful piece of fiction when it is finished. I don't know how many drafts you have done because your prose sounds quite polished.

You asked for criticism so I will say I felt the first chapter was a little heavy on the set up. Overall I think you make it work- I have the image of an old man telling me the story by the fire in a darkened tavern- and I know the style you have chosen means you need to do a little scene setting at the beginning. It would be nice to know who the narrator was or who they are telling the story to because I think that bit of context would make it seem a bit more solid. It definitely has some fairy-tale undertones to it, but I think your narrator already has too much personality to leave him invisible in the background.

Also, if you're planning to stick around until it's finished, think of me when you need your whole novel critiquing. I'd like to be a part of that- I get the feeling this is going to be good.

Critiques are to be placed in the critiques forum. You already have one topic post there.