Well I've got a little idea for a story, but I wanted to get some feedback on it before I get too into it (well I'd probably still write it if no one liked it, but that would be a little disheartening, no?)
Basically it starts sometime in the 21st century on our Earth, whatever god it was that created this world decides he's sick of it and wants to start over, so he sends a wave of divine fire to cleanse the earth of life, but although it kills millions, some humans stubbornly cling to life, and so he sends in his armies, know as the Rising (similair to what we'd call Angels, but not exactly the same) and although the surviving humans put up a brave fight, they're outnumbered and outmatched until some allies no one was ever expecting show up, the Chess army (similair to what we'd call Demons) they don't want to see this world destroyed on a whim for unknown reasons (mainly unknown because I'm not sure myself yet) but together the two forces manage to secure a brief reprieve.
Anyway, in order to fight a process known as Contracting is developed, where a human and a Chess will merge their souls together (although they still retain two bodies and individual personalities) in order to vastly increase the power of both parties and give them a fighting chance against the Rising army.
The MC is a girl of fifteen known as Ami, she ends up forming a contract with a chess named Halloween, and after that I'm largely blank on it at the moment (after all, it did only come to me last night) it'll basically deal with the theme of what happens when humanity is truly left alone and forced to rely on what they'd always seen as the ultimate evil. Eventually they may end up fighting the god itself
I'm thinking of it as a YA novel but very much fantasy in style....so does anyone have any opinions? or questions? (because by forcing me to answer a question I'll have to figure out another detail of the world ^_^)
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50,088 / 50,000
Apr 30, 2008 - 17 47
Hm. Well, he's kinda inconsistently "godlike" if he's able to create a world but not to destroy it, I would think. That's always a tricky issue when you're dealing with gods, isn't it?--deciding how to limit their powers.
Are you defining good and evil in terms of what the god wants/decides, or are you assuming that there's a higher standard he should be measured against?
How many gods are there?
(The use of "chess" and "halloween" would probably bother me. It's hard to get past the use of a familiar word that's being given a wholly different meaning
60,054 / 50,000
Mei 1, 2008 - 07 40
Hmm. Maybe he doesn't want to completely destroy it because of the effort he put into making it... how did the divine fire affect the non-human life on the planet? Maybe he's not an omnipotent-type god at all... Could be he just found it, took over, and didn't actually create it himself, just enhanced what was already there?
Got sidetracked.
----------Heather
Forums Moderator
51,949 / 50,000
Mei 1, 2008 - 08 01
I like some parts of the idea, but not others. You've basically reversed the roles of things - Angels and God are normally portrayed as good, while they'd been "evil" in your story (killing every living person could be considered evil, especially if there doesn't appear to be any reason behind it other than a whim), while Demons are normally portrayed as evil, but their help in stopping the Rising army casts them in a good light. This reversal is interesting, but I can see it bothering people. You might want to be careful with doing something like that.
Calling the demons the Chess army and one of them Halloween bothers me for a different reason than it does a previous poster. I hear Chess - especially with Halloween and my mind immediately goes to an anime I watch called MAR (Maruchan Awakens Romance). I don't know if you've even heard of it, but that's were my mind went.
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NaNo 2006: Steel Bars - 59,233 words
Screnzy 2007: The Enchanted Forest - won
NaNo 2007: Turning Beetles into Buttons - 51,949 words
Screnzy 2008: Simple Gifts - 43 pages total & Butterfly - 9 episodes
50,472 / 50,000
Mei 1, 2008 - 10 12
I can offer you an idea of why the demons want to save humanity.... without humanity around, there would be no mischief for the demons to delight in. I mean, picture everything back with just animals and plants living in peace and harmony with the environment... If I'm a demon, I'm thinking BO-RING!
I liked the name Chess, Halloween I would be less crazy about, depending on if there were *too* many cutesy names like that.
YA? Don't know about that. Right now my critique partner is reading something I wrote, and she is complaining that it is too dark for YA. You might post about it in the YA forum.
:) Jen
461 / 50,000
Mei 1, 2008 - 17 54
Sounds interesting to me, but you will have to tread a narrow line as you figure out why/how a 15 year old who decides to ally her very soul with a demon can maintain position as a protagonist for a YA novel. Adults being willing to sell their souls for existance in an adult novel would also be interesting.
Initiially Chess and Halloween as names were kinda jarring, but I think I like them.
----------"To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it." - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. (1922-2007)
2006 - Famine: A Novel - failed
2007 - A Midsummer Night's Dream...IN SPACE! - on hold
0 / 50,000
Mei 2, 2008 - 00 05
I would be interesting in reading the finished project. I have my own creation theory story and don't believe in the orthodox religious view anyway, since I'm Wiccan, and the idea sounds like it would have interest to people of alternative religions.
Sounds like YA to me, but may be too dark for it, I'm not sure. No reason to worry about where it goes until it's finished anyway. Keep writing! :)
Blessings,
Raven Aingeal
23,715 / 50,000
Mei 2, 2008 - 13 48
Thanks for all your questions people....but I have some bad news about this idea, I had started writing it, i didn't have much but I had a good few thousand words and then the document with it in corrupted and so I've lost it all, kinda makes me a little disheartened about it all TT-TT
Although there really are some good questions here, thanks everyone