Well, this is my first year trying NaNoWriMo, but I've tried my hand at writing short stories previously. I have no troubles, (As far as I'm concerned), with grammatical technicality in my writings, but I find myself troubled with the process of describing something in a scene, or in fact describing the scene.
Now, say for instance, I want to write about a ratty room with one solemn window on one side, with dim orange light pouring in. I'm not incompetent as to say I don't know how to try to describe something like this, but I feel I do something wrong in the process. Say I describe the determined scene thusly:
"The room was bare, with some remnants of the swift eviction of past owners. The solemn window on the wall parallel to the door cast an eerily dim orange glow that seemed to add to the room's impoverished look, the decay running from each corner to the next..."
I feel I don't capture any imagination in what I'm describing, and thus failing the purpose of creating a novel in the first place. That's not to say that I'll give up, far from it, but I'd like some help on this small question if anyone has some.
Thank you in advance.
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"I do not agree with one word that you are saying, but I will defend till death your right to say it." - Voltaire
58,464 / 50,000
Nov 4, 2009 - 00 02
Hi Tarkata, I hope you're enjoying the Nano-experience so far. My take on your 'problem' is that you possibly are not placing a v.p. character firmly enough in the scene (I'm not sure whether I've got this right, since there isn't a large enough example to go by).
Instead of 'The room was bare', as if seen through the eyes of the narrator (you), if you said 'Jane was horrified to discover that the room was bare ...'
or
'The room was bare; my sense of loss was immediate and my feelings for the fear in the minds of its previous occupants ...'
then continue, as you have done, with your excellent description of the room.
Wherever possible, personalise descriptions - the rest you can leave to your natural writing ability and your imagination.
Good luck from a wet and windy north of England.
----------MJ
3,615 / 50,000
Nov 4, 2009 - 14 46
Thanks dingbats, that's extremely helpful, I'll use your advice to the fullest extent possible.
----------"I do not agree with one word that you are saying, but I will defend till death your right to say it." - Voltaire
45,066 / 50,000
Nov 5, 2009 - 13 50
My first thought when reading that is "How can a window be solemn?" Heh.
58,464 / 50,000
Nov 6, 2009 - 02 39
Near where I live there was a house that looked down-right miserable. Its windows were smeared with dirt and the curtains tattered and drab; it was overshadowed by a sinister, drooping, dense and dark-leaved tree. Whenever I drove past it my mood would plummet. Last time I saw it, the tree had gone, the house had been painted and brightly coloured curtains made the windows appear joyful. I perk up when I drive past that house now. It's all in the eye of the beholder, or the mind of the writer.
Maybe, all you need to do with the 'solemn' is pop in a few additional words.
----------MJ
6,890 / 50,000
Nov 6, 2009 - 19 43
Revision is a good time for sharpening the images that came to you on the first go. Don't let lack of refinement stop your best creative flow. I know what you mean by solemn windows (!), but like someone said, you need a character's presence laid out first for the best impact.
19,263 / 50,000
Nov 8, 2009 - 07 26
One trick I use with description is to focus on what's important to the character. If done right that lets you develop character at the same time you're describing the room.
28,415 / 50,000
Nov 8, 2009 - 08 01
May be it might sound better if you wrote:
"The single, solemn window on the wall parallel . . ." etc.