Sex Scenes: How much detail is too much detail?

Oh, by the way - I know I am in slightly the wrong forum here, but people seem to have good advice over here. Also, I am trying to tackle this subject with as much literary integrity as I can.. so I'm hoping I might be able to call it 'Literary Fiction' in some capacity.

To answer your very last question first (that's how we roll here at LitFic!) I think nearly every sex scene, no matter how awful or beautiful or rough or romantic will arouse a reader, at least somewhat, and every reader is going to react differently.

If it's not the purpose of the sex scenes to arouse the reader, you might want to stay clear of any 'positive' adverbs, so no 'soft lips', no 'warm skin', but turn it on its side and try coming at it from a different angle.

For example, I'm not sure if you've ever read Ian McEwan's On Chesil Beach, but in it is a sex scene which is probably my favourite sex scene ever written. Not because it's 'hot', it's in fact very terrible since everything goes sort of wrong. I'll quote some bits:

and then later, when he climaxes way too soon (which paves the way for every bad thing that happens in the novel):

I mean, these passages could have been written in a very erotic way, but the way McEwan makes them a little too descriptive, and very clumsy, and completely honest and sort of tragicomic, the scene is actually a complete turn-off and it completely suits the tone of the novel. So, what I mean to say is: see if you can use your experience as an erotica writer to describe the scene the way you 'used' to, but then turn it on its side and focus not so much on the actual act itself, but on the perspective of one of the characters and her emotions about it.

It can turn into something pretty spectacular, as you can see :)

Good luck!

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Like japieee said, I don't think there'd really be a way to write a detailed sex scene that isn't in some respect arousing. Then again, I think that you could accomplish expressing the violence of the act with no more than a paragraph or two if you're wanting to try and stay away from the aspect of arousal as much as possible. Just be very choosy with your words, and even your sentence structure. I've always found that short sentences have the potential to be some of the most powerful statements you can make in a paragraph, so maybe try loosing the flowy adjectives and go for some short, harshly worded sentences. It'll add to the intensity of the scene not by spelling it all out for the reader, but by setting an atmosphere. It's not always the words that you write that contribute to what you want to say, but the ones you leave out as well. I hope that makes even a semblance of sence -- I tend to ramble this early in the morning.

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Thanks for the tips! Yeah, I am trying to not name things, if you see what I mean. But I am also using my sex scenes as a way of keeping my word count up. So I'm looking for a balance.

Oh, and yes, I have read On Chesil Beach, but quite a while back. I remember not being able to put it down.

You don't seriously think that 'graphic' is the only way to indicate 'violent and rough,' do you? What about consequences? (Not just bruises and bite marks, though those work as shorthand.) Ever notice that the really gruesome stuff on Buffy the Vampire Slayer *always* happens just offscreen - but still reads as gruesome and scary?

How would you render a non-vampire sexual relationship tinged with eroticized violence?

Sex scenes will arouse people who are aroused by them. Don't worry about that.

A sex scene is a dramatic scene involving sex. It should fulfill the function of any dramatic scene - i.e. it should advance the story in some way(s). If the only point of the scene is to indicate that Sex Happened Between Them, find another way of communicating that point. You don't actually need to include it; it can be more exciting not to.

If your protagonists go to the bank together to pay for his hair transplant, but nothing to do with the rest of the story happens at the bank, don't describe the trip to the bank.

My points here are these: you don't get to decide how people react to your scenes, but erotic anticipation beats porn any day; sometimes the best way to render a sex scene is to leave it out entirely; write the scenes so that they do the same dramatic work as every other scene in the story, and you'll discover in the moment which details are necessary.

In social novel sex scenes are depicted not in detail. Sometimes, writer use symbolism. I have read sex scenes in many novels but all were depicted not in detail. some readers love those scenes and some readers feel bored. As a novel is read by people of all ages, sex scenes specially in social novels should not be that explicit.

However, in erotic novel details can be provided as the genre is same. It is a topic that is handled cautiously by writers. But in the era of penthouse series, specially the youth people love detailed depiction as they topic is just youthful.

thanks

panigrahisc

If you need to make it rough, just make it rough. Yes, some people will be aroused by it and others will be put off by it. But that's ok ... as long as it gets a reaction. The way it gets a reaction is if you make it relevant within the rest of your story.

Okay - wow! Lots of really good points. I have sort of finished the scene and although if I go back and revise it I may censor it marginally, I actually haven't used too much detail. Also, there is a purpose within the sex - a kind of realization by the protagonists - so I'm not writing sex just for the sake of it. It is definitely a matter of advancing the story.

About readers being aroused, of course I can't control that, I just meant that there is a difference between intentionally writing in order to arouse your readers, and scenes where it is serving another purpose, but arousal is a side effect.

I hope this thread is helpful to anyone else with similar problems.

Howdy!
Yeah, I want to thank you guys, too. I have a majorly long sex scene that I didn't intend to write - it kinda just happened, ya know? - and I've been debating whether I need to re-write that (waiting for December first, of course) or let it be if it works for the story. Since it's between the MC and her husband to be, it makes sense and deals with the fact that they have this major physical attraction thing going on, aside from all the talk about love being a higher emotion.
Well, you guys just let me know that IT'S OKAY.
Thanks. I really mean that.

Cassandra Starrswife

Note from the moderator:

Nothing explicit y'all. This thread in of itself is no problem, but can't get explicit about exactly what should be in said sex scene. Lets keep these details away, and make sure the posts follow the terms and conditions.

http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/termsandconditions

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