Excerpt: Truth or Dale

Yeah, I get the paradox inherent in the whole daring her to take zero dares thing. But I don't care. She's going to be safe from now on. She'll see life doesn't have to be dare-to-dare. She'll be safe.

She'll be hungry, but I'm not going to mention that to her.

She pulls away from me. "You bastard," she says.

I keep my face emotionless. I am an enigma. You can't read me. If only she knew how much of a bastard I am.

"I like the dares. They don't hurt anyone."

"They hurt you."

"No! They don't!"

This is a stupid argument. "You'll see. You're going to not do any dares for the next month and you'll see you're hiding behind them, using them as an excuse to let other people choose your destiny. It's no better than genetics choosing that we'd be Haustores. We change our destiny. We don't let anyone else do it for us!"

"This ridiculous quest of yours? That's what this is about?"

I blink at her. That's totally not what this is about. Doesn't she see that?

She shoves me away and I hit the table with the small of my back. I've been bruised enough today that I don't react quickly enough to stop her from running out the door. Shit.

Shit shit shit!

The dare is done, though. She won't back down because it's not in her nature to do so.

She just might not ever talk to me again.

I go upstairs and lie down in my bed, holding the peas to my face. They mold against my features like one of those pin cushion toys you stick your hand in. My stomach actually hurts worse than my face. I'd like to say, "You should see the other guy," but really, who am I kidding? Maybe I dented his hand with my cheekbones.

I did throw the first punch. And I'm pretty sure I didn't drain enough of Dale to keep him from her.

Shit. Memories of Lisa seep into the edges of my mind. I can't think of her. Not of anything from Pecado. Just Eric's name and family and that's it. I'm not allowing myself to think about her or Mailee or Eric or Justin or whether or not I had a good thing there, whether or not I could have completed the task and lived as a human, whether or not I screwed everything up.

My stomach aches, and it's not from Jayson's fist.

Okay, so I'm a bastard. It's nothing I didn't already know. It's been almost a year since I left Pecado and I haven't sent them any indication that I'm even alive.

I held the group together. Without me... okay, Eric'll be fine, Justin will pretend to be fine, but what about Mailee? I drained our parents of their love for each other, for her, for me long before I knew what I was. If Eric's not taking care of her, nobody is.
Eric has to be taking care of her. He promised.

Eric Quinn's just that kind of guy. Nobody's calling him a bastard.

Well, technically, Dale is, but not really.

I'm kinda glad I didn't tell her the truth. If she hates me now, what will she think when I tell her who I am. When I actually talk about me. Truth or Dare, "Eric"? Truth is, I'm scared shitless by the thought of telling her the truth.

Thank goodness she didn't know the questions to ask. "Who's Katie Johnson?" That's not the question, Dale. The question is, "Who's Matthew Jones?"

But she doesn't know to ask about Matthew Jones because she's never heard of him. Eric's not talking about Matt. Because by now he's completely forgotten about him and moved on with his life.

God, I hope that's not true.

God, I should stop changing which Eric I'm talking about in mid-thought.

"This is a good way to go crazy, EricMatt."

It helps if I think of his name as first. I feel less like myself. Less of a bastard.

I sit up. Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.

I put my hand on the phone. I remember the number for home. Truth or Dare, Matt? Call your damn sister. Give her some closure.

I dial. The phone rings.

"H-Hello?"

Mailee. She still stutters when she picks up the phone. She's so damn shy.

I hang up.

Bastard.