Excerpt: The Forgotten Heart Keeper

They say that there are days that must be cursed and this must be one of them. The rain and cloud seem to match this dreadful day and the cold wind is both numbing and chilling to the very bone. I never thought that life would turn out this way will all of my family being killed before me. There is nothing worse in this world then a parent having to bury one of their children and it seems impossible that I have to bury all four of them. At least my husband does not have to go through this pain like I do but how could he leave me to all those pain and suffering without him here to comfort me. Ever since the day I met him he has always been there to support me no matter how bad it was or how much I screamed at him to leave me the hell alone. As I look at the gravestones in front of me I cannot understand why I am not with all of them, why I was left behind without a hope at all. The pastor’s voice slows to a whisper as I try to not read the headstones in front of me as if that could protect me from all the pain in my heart and soul. I feel Libby trying to not sob next to me but I cannot even make a move to comfort her even knowing that her husband Brian was killed making her a widow on the same day as me. Even knowing that she was there standing next to me when the bomb went off and that she too is questioning why she was saved why her sons were killed but she does have her daughter left. I can’t even be angry with her for having Hope still alive when that has been almost the only thing that has kept me going almost the only joy that seems to still exist in this world.

My mind starts to drift as even as I try not to read the stones I do. Jonathan Kevin Winter only eight years old and one day when he was killed so excited to be able to finally get to get the motorbike that he had been wanting and that I had been so against. He face not even two weeks ago had lite up with joy at the site of his early birthday present of a puppy. Jack, my Jack had said that a puppy was not such a good idea with a new baby in the house and then with another one coming it would just be too much for me to handle especially when he would be gone on a mission. I don’t think Johnny slept for more then thirty minutes in a row as he kept jumping up to check on Charlie even though I told him that the puppy would be fine on its own in its bed in the kitchen. Jack thought that a puppy should not be sleeping upstairs in a bed with one of the kids as it would become spoiled. Between the pleading eyes of my son and the whimpers of a small puppy I was torn, when my son pointed out that Charlie missed his mommy and that when he moved to his big boy room and was not sleeping in his cradle anymore that he cried for me or at least that is what I had told him when I was trying to explain Bella cried so much when she moved into her toddler bed in Izzy’s room to share with her. At that my heart clenched so hard that I thought that it would break at seeing my sweet boy having such caring for another being. I carried Charlie myself up to Johnny’s room and tucked both of them in and told my husband to stop when he started to comment about the dog in the room. Johnny just gave me his baby look, that look that said that I would always make everything all right but now I could not make everything alright. I was not able to save him from all that pain and from dying. He was only a little boy who never did anyone any harm to anyone in this world but that did not stop those men from placing a bomb that would only kill women and children; innocent children at that that never did anything but be born.