Excerpt: Witchcraft and Anchovies

If I could say one good thing about myself, it would be that I’m a clean person.
Some would say obsessively clean.

I vacuum the floors every morning and wash the kitchen and bathroom floors every night before I go to bed. I try to dust once an hour and refold all the clothes in my dresser drawers at least every second day.

I am a big fan of Febreeze and scented oils. I have bottles of Febreeze under my kitchen cupboards and I usually go through one every day. I always want to make sure that the air in my apartment smells clean and fresh. I make sure to wash the bathroom sink, toilet and bath tub three times a week.

I don’t think of myself as obsessive or anal, though some would tell you that I am. I think what I am is organized; I need to know where everything is. And if it’s not in the right place, or the right state, I make it so that it is.

I don’t see anything wrong with that.

*

I like my food to be clean as well.

White, to me, is a clean colour. I like white. There are no impurities, no shades or hues. It is all the colours in one. It is bright and clean and happy.

My food has to be white. I try to eat healthy. I like egg whites, saltines, bread, white though, no multi-grain. I like chicken, but only after its been baked until it’s done. I’ll eat bleached peanuts, mozzarella cheese. I do like milk and plain yoghurt.

When I used to go to the grocery store, all the other coloured foods seemed to be yelling at me. They were too bright, too cheerful. They all vied for my attention.

I do not go to the grocery store anymore.

*

I have my groceries delivered by a store down the street. The delivery boy, Paulo, is very nice. I’m not sure if he’s Mexican or Pilipino, but it makes no difference to me.

He’s a very nice gentleman.

He also knows that I do not want anyone inside my apartment. He respects this and waits for me at the door while I get my purse. I always try to tip him well. I like him; he has nice, lovely white teeth.

My building is actually quite lovely. There are all kinds of families that live in the various apartments from all races and genders. I often think of it as a melting pot of society, a small population.

It also has a hairdresser, convenience store (with DVD rental) and a schwarma place, if I ever feel like take out. They’re all connected to the apartment building on the first floor. I know this; it was one of the reasons I got my apartment.

I like that I never have to leave.