Excerpt: Memories Of Home

Rae followed, but kept her distance, Max behind her. She’d seen Sylvia take Will into the house, then felt able to make her usual slow way to where voices were raised, shouts still coming from a woman Rae detested. She’d only hated Bonnie since Jenny came to Arkendale, for the manner in which Bonnie had treated Rae’s friend. How Bonnie had been with Alvin all those years had been something for Rae to ignore, her own prickly demeanor hiding from Rae just how stiff and impersonal the Carmines were.

Now she needed to hear it, hear Bonnie’s words, her asinine idea that Alvin was her son. Rae had decided Bonnie had just snapped. No woman would treat her own child so abominably, then tell Jenny to have an abortion, then have the unmitigated gall to come marching into a private party, throwing pure lies into the ears of anyone. And Chelsea had heard it, Rae knew. Chelsea had heard what was said.

“He’s gone Bonnie, but that doesn’t give you the right to come down her and start demanding…”

That was Tommie’s voice, not as smooth as before. Now he let a little anger loose, but Rae knew it was still softened. She knew her husband, and Tommie wasn’t even getting close to being worked up.

“Tommie Smith, those are my flesh and blood and I’ll do whatever it takes too…”

“You will not have a single thing to do with my children!”

That wasn’t Jenny’s voice, but Sam’s, and Rae nearly fell over, feeling Max’s arm hold her up. His arm and the rest of her son, most of him still able to offer support.

“Chelsea and Will are mine and Jenny’s, and you have no legal claim to them, none whatsoever. You practically made Alvin beg for scraps, and there is no way in hell I’ll let you even lay one finger on my children!”

Rae felt Sam’s words, and she lost tears. From the entryway of the barn, she watched his anger coming from a pointed finger, eyes protective and wary. Jenny’s bastard of a father might be dead, but Sam would never forget what happened to his first wife.

“Your children?” Bonnie huffed, hands on her hips.

Rea thought Bonnie had really lost it. First what in the world made her think she was Alvin’s mother, and then, how could she come here and warrant such demand for how dismally she’d treated that man! Rae felt her blood boil, then her son’s one hand on her shoulder.

“Mom, don’t,” Max whispered.

Rae seethed, but didn’t move.

“Yes, my children. Mine and I swear to you Bonnie if you even think about trying to insinuate yourself into Chelsea and Will’s lives I’ll…”

“You’ll what?”

Bonnie’s words were followed by a heady laugh, and Rae knew she’d lost her mind. Yes, she’d also just lost her husband, but now Bonnie was certifiable. Rae only felt Max’s squeeze her hand, and she gripped his, gritting her teeth in the process.

“Bonnie, it’s over. Alvin’s gone, Harold’s gone. Yes, you’re alone. But you gave him up the day he was born, and then every day since. Maybe it was for the best, maybe you never meant to hurt him. But the last thing Alvin would have wanted was for either of his children to be within your sight, and as Sam said, they are our children, and there is no way you will ever be allowed to see them, at least not while either Sam or I are living.”

Jenny’s words came to Rae’s ears one at a time, in a voice so much like Tommie that Rae understood why they thought of each other as brother and sister. For a few seconds jealousy reared in Rae’s head. Then, it was what Jenny said; you gave him up the day he was born. And then every day since. My god! This was true!

Rae squinted, her tears falling. She ignored them, concentrating on Jenny’s face. Sam’s was brutal, fiery, frightening. Jenny’s was factual, fully accepting what Bonnie claimed, but not allowing her one inch. Jenny had never allowed Bonnie any of her time, not before, and certainly not now.

Yet, Jenny wasn’t afraid. She held her husband’s hand, and for how much Jenny had been one with Alvin, Rae saw something else with that man. With Sam, Jenny was whole, completed, finished. Their baby wasn’t obvious, but then it was, Jenny purposefully placing her hand on that belly. Small, easily dismissed, but as she’d been proud to announce her pregnancy only days after Alvin was dead, she again stood her ground with Bonnie Carmine. Jenny wasn’t going to budge.

“They’re, they’re…”

“Not yours Bonnie. They never have been.”

Tommie’s voice hit Rae square in her guts. Their baby, a pregnancy that hadn’t survived; Rae had carried that loss all her adult life, and she only stared at a woman realizing a similar truth. Maybe Bonnie was Alvin’s biological mother, maybe, Rae would allow, but he’d been no more to her than a stone around her neck. A stone that Rae felt heavy on her shoulders, only her living son’s hand to balance her and keep her from falling.

“Mom, you okay?” Max murmured.

Rae nodded, then shook her head. “Help me back to the house.”

She turned to him, a tall young man who looked mostly like his father and brother, but her own gray eyes, now only one gray eye, stared back to her. That one eye had known tremendous sacrifice, but was moving on. Rae had been near to Max’s age when she lost her baby, and she felt a great weight on her chest moving about. It had been there for over twenty years, but that night, for the first time, it seemed mobile, unhinged. Rae Smith felt her body about to fall apart. “Max, just get me inside.”

“C’mon Mom, it’s okay.”

His voice wasn’t a whisper, and as Rae gave one last look to the quartet in the barn, Tommie’s eyes caught hers. He mouthed I love you, and Rae nearly stumbled, that rocky, painful burden falling from her body as she stepped towards the house.