Moths
an excerpt

To be honest, I'm not very good at rash decision making. When I woke up the next day and thought about what I'd done, I began to wonder if I'd been a little too quick. I could always keep it and save it for later, but it would still cost money. Practicality won me over there. Besides, something good had to happen. It wasn't a case of being frivolous, but of bringing a little light back into the world.

I woke early again, as I often do, and there was little to occupy my time. But as the first light of dawn began to show, I hastily scribbled down a note and left.

The skies were dull and grey as I left. There was no spectacular sunrise, merely the slow creep of light into the world as the day came into being. It was as if the very daylight wasn't even sure it was worth the effort. But that was how dawn always seemed to be lately. The weather should be bright and clear, but clouds gathered instead, sulking over the city. It was dry now, but I knew it wouldn't be soon.

I rarely leave Grisforn these days. Duty ties me down here, but I see no reason to complain. These streets and buildings are a part of myself now. My life is intertwined with them. I allow myself time when I can to visit those of my family that left, but beyond that I never have much of a reason to leave. I did not mean to let the poor weather drag my mood down today.

The entrance to the cellcoach station was only a little way down the road from Chenrill's headquarters. It felt odd to descend those stairs and let myself be swallowed up into the ground, odder still to let the cellcoach carry me away from Grisforn and into the north of Carrlyn. Carrlyn is the largest of the Abiry cities, and the engraver I had chosen was well priced, but also far off. Perhaps not far for a traveled man, but far for one such as myself.

The coach shuddered on, past sectors devoted to every trade imaginable, past lines and stations that intertwined and entangled themselves underneath the city. To one as open and tuned to the energies that powered such a construct as I am, the energy was almost tangible. Useless, of course, to me in this state, but still ever present, a strange, prickling feeling that spread up my arms. It was not unpleasant, though... rather more comfortingly familiar, even though out of reach.

As I emerged above ground again, I tried to recall the way to the engraver. It had been a long time since I had last done this, and I felt oddly conspicuous standing here. I am not ashamed of what I am, and Essentials everywhere are never so rich, but I could tell that nobody here recognised me. No matter. The honeybee badge, should they look close enough, would tell them all they needed to know, and it was not long before I was pushing open the door to the shop.

There was a cabinet full of delicate jewelry... all very beautiful, I had to admit, though entirely out of my price range. I hardly see that as a problem, though, as I am not a man to buy new jewelry, not even if I had the money to. Oh, I wear a little gold of course, but there is no extravagance in that. All Abiry wear some gold about their person, it is the way of things. Gold is extremely lucky - to deny a man gold is to cast him aside to fate. What I saw down there were other metals, the type that not anybody could have. It made no difference. The best jewelry, for me, is the type that doesn't gleam and sparkle. It is the type that is old, tarnished, a little scuffed, like the watch my father had given me. The type with a history and a story. What I was about to buy today, though, had to be brought fresh and new. Or, of course, inherited, but I had nobody to inherit from.

"Hello there," said the engraver as I studied the displays. "I don't believe we've met."

"I believe you have some work for me," I said. "It would be under the name of S. Ganru."

"Aha, of course, the Grisforn man. Come a long way, haven't you?" he said, and vanished into the back for a moment. I waited, taking in a display of necklaces. There was, of course, no display for the thing I wanted. A silly notion, there. There were not even examples. Every one was precious, and not to be left sitting in a shop to be stared at.

After a few minutes the engraver returned, this time with a tiny box. "This is the one," he said. "Would you like to take a look?"

It was only a plain little thing, with a simple lid that slipped on. I removed it, and I saw the charm lying there, nestled on a bed of wool.

I had chosen a moth for my design, done in rich dark copper. Perhaps an owl may have been more appropriate, or a honeybee, but then again, the honeybee is the universal symbol of the Essentials. I needed something a little more personal, and what could be more personal than this? The engraver had even cut the designs in the wings to a curving, spiraling Toxiliviti pattern, a nice little touch.

"It's beautiful," I said, my voice quiet as I met the engraver's eyes. "I don't know how much I can thank you."

"No need," he said. "I know how these things are. Who's the lucky one?"

"Ah... a friend," I said, caught a little off-guard by the question. Of course, I had made my decision - I was not so mindlessly extravagant as to buy myself a bond charm with nobody in mind, but when I pictured that somebody, I still had to remind myself of what I was doing and that it was actually real.

"Aren't they all?"

"I suppose they are!"

"Nervous, are you?" he said. "I know how is it. They come in here to me all the time, you know, so happy and confident, and then they're all lost for words again. Go on. You'll be fine, I know it, just- ah. Would you give me a moment?" The telephone in the corner was ringing, and he picked it up. "Hello? Who? Yes, you're lucky, he's right here actually. What, now? Well, I'll let him know, then, I'm sure he'll be as quick as he can. What name? Ah, good." He put it down and looked up at me again. "That was lucky," he said. "Or perhaps not. You're wanted back home, some sort of emergency. I didn't get details, they just want you there now."

"Now?" Even if I managed to catch the next cellcoach, I wasn't sure how quickly I could make it back into Grisforn. Perhaps an hour, perhaps more. "Who is it?"

"I got the name of Tresuris, not sure if that means anything to you.."

"Ah... it does. Thankyou then. I think I'd better go. Now." I pulled out my money, quickly counted the correct amount, and deposited it on the counter. "Thankyou for your words!"