Excerpt: Tordoc’s Fortunes

When using a calculator, never eat chips and dip.

As you progress in life, wear glasses.

The first time you do anything, eat your favorite food, to increase you change of luck.

Playing games during work hours is a good way to relive stress… and get fired.

Textbooks should be treated with care, unless you lose a test, then you can fling it across the room.

Using dynamite with cream cheese makes a wonderful pastry filling.

When eating locusts dipped in honey, focus on the honey, rather than the bug bits.

Getting a paycheck is like a shallow stream. How, I don’t know.

Only a fool thinks that these sayings are foolish.

The forest is a place where warriors gather in times of feast.

Remember to get the fortune out of the cookie before eating it.

Some say that science is magic, some say it is the way of the future, but I say: “Where’s my flying car?”

Everyone wants to have fun, if you don’t, then you’re not everyone.

Pay your bills, or no light will you have to read this book!