A Question of Balance
an excerpt

Sometimes, you reach a point in your life when you have just had all the fun you can stand. You find yourself wondering what happened and why you let things get to this point. Maybe it is not ALL your own fault. There is fate. That hand of cards that life deals you that you have no control over. You choose a card, play it and hope for the best.
Ryan ran his fingers through his hair as he sat looking out over the ocean. He let his blue eyes wander over the water as the moon sparked across the small waves. It was a beautiful night. Far too beautiful to be in such a melancholy mood. Whenever he felt this way it always made him guilty. He was by definition, a “success” in his life. He owned a small bed and breakfast on the other side of the island. Although it was only about 5 miles away, it seemed an eternity away from where he was now. How could such a small island hold two such distinctively different worlds.
He was now on the east side of the island. The east side was a constant party 24 hours a day. You could rent an exquisite suite or a basic one -room dump. Ryan never understood why anyone would get a room on this side of the island. It was too fucking loud. How could anyone sleep? Behind him he heard the slamming of a door followed by “Hey beautiful, I got a dime if you got the time.” How insulting. He never understood what women saw in men. They were all dogs. Hell, he was living breathing proof of that.
Ryan glanced down at his fingernails and made a mental note to do something about them before tomorrow morning. He couldn’t show up at the hotel desk with them looking like this. He and his sister, April, ran the hotel together. They were twins. Both had dark brown hair with blue eyes but that was where the resemblance stopped. She looked like their Mom. He didn’t know wbo he looked like. Maybe his dad. He would never know the answer to that question, he had never met his dad. Whether he was the offspring of a one night stand or a failed marriage he would never know, at least not from his Mom. She had refused to talk about it her entire life. It was off limits and when Dorean said something was off limits, you had better just shut your mouth about it. It was not a battle you could ever hope to win.
April was a very nurturing soul like their mother but the one thing he loved most about April was that she never questioned where he went at night. If she suspected anything, she never let on. She pulled more than her share of work around the bed and breakfast. She was really the only stable point of his life right now. He had noticed that she did seem to be getting restless lately. She had mentioned that a change of scenery was in order. Ryan dreaded her leaving for vacation because he would then be glued to the front desk waiting hand and foot on some fat lady from up north with an obnoxious accent and an even worse personality. Damn, he hated loud people.
Last week he and April had hired a private detective to track down their father. They had been discussing this for years. It was not something that they had the luxury of pursuing while Dorean was alive. Dorean would have had their heads on a platter. Let’s face it, she would have told them to kiss her ass with a half-smoked Marlboro hanging out of her mouth. There would have been no living with her. Dorean would give you the shirt off of her back but, by gods, you had better not cross her.
The private detective they had hired lived in the middle of the island in a run down, one room apartment that also doubled as an office. Rumor had it that the man could track down a mouse in a hundred acre corn field. The man’s name was Everett Swan. That was a hell of a name for the ugliest man he had ever seen in his life. Mr. Swan had a huge nose, black eyes, greasy black hair and consumed mass quantities of black coffee. Ryan didn’t really care what the man looked like as long as he could provide him with some information about his father.
Ryan wondered what his father would think of him. That was probably the scariest part. He was not always proud of the way he spent his life but “I am who I am” says Popeye the Sailor Man. Actually, he probably would have had more in common with Olive Oyl.
“Raven, you are up next, beautiful.”
Ryan jumped to his feet at the sound of the voice. He adjusted his red sequined halter dress and picked up his purse. He glided on his four inch red heels as he walked across the street. All the world is a stage, and it was his turn to be the star. He entered the back door , handed his purse to Cookie and stepped through the curtain to a packed house.
Raven Rodriguez walked into the lives and hearts of hundreds of applauding fans.