Lamebusters: Plague of the Mary-Sues
an excerpt

"Case #75231, Category B." Edmund read aloud, brows knitting. As his left hand held up the folder of information, his right began buckling his vest. "She goes by the name of Celestial Crystal Rosemary Moonflower."

A snort was heard from Roxanne.

"What are the symptoms?" Madelyn questioned, eyebrows raised. Her hands quickly laced up her boots and brown eyes turned to glance at the red head questioningly.

"Apparently, she has twenty nine boys in the Gryffindor House alone pining after her," the boy answered. A strangled laugh left his throat. "She claims she's the lovechild of Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, with a little bit of Severus Snape thrown into the mix. Dumbledore's her uncle...? What the--"

Raphael piped up, checking his bag. "So we're going into the Harry Potter universe?"

"Yeah."

The folder containing information on Case #75231 closed shut and Edmund quickly stuffed it into his bag. There was a pause of silence as the team members finished preparing themselves.

"Are we set?"

There was a moment where each member turned to look at one another.

Bullet proof vests? Check.

Arm bands? Check.

Goggles? Check.

A side serving of complete and utter bad ass?

...

Check.

"Let's roll."