Street Kids
an excerpt

"I don't like this place as much as the last one," Terri said as we walked through the woods.
I shrugged, "It's pretty good. I mean other places before you came were way worse. We can't use this one in the winter though. Too cold."
"I was going to say too high."
"I like the high part," I said, "It's cool."
"Yeah, but someone could fall."
"Nah, there's wood all around."
"But it's rotted."
"That won't happen," I said, "We've lived more dangerous places."
Terri shrugged. She was smarter than the rest of us. She thought differently than we did. Carlie had found her living with another girl, Kim. They were living in the unfinished houses in a development that was going up.
"You think too much," I told her.
"Maybe," Terri said. We stopped and waited for Alex to catch up.
"C'mon!" Terri moaned.
Alex glared at her. I started walking again and Terri ran after me.
"Does she scare you a little?"
"No," I answered, "Carlie's worse."
"Carlie scares you too?"
"No. She's just worse," I said, "You scare me though."
Terri looked at me.
"Why?"
"You think too much," I answered.
"Why is that scary?"
"It's not," I said, "But I confused you."
Terri bit her lip and walked faster. I kept up.
"Do I scare you?"
"You're too small to be scared of."
"But I could beat the shit out of you."
"Yeah, okay," Terri answered.
"Fight me."
Her mouth was going to get her in trouble one day. We all knew it. Carlie was about ready to murder her, and if Carlie snapped it would be way worse than anything I could do.
Terri shook her head, "No."
"Why not?"
"I don't want to."
"Too late. Now you've got to prove you can win."
"I didn't say I could win! I just said you couldn't beat the shit out of me!"
"Okay, fight me and prove it."
"I don't want to-"
"You're going to fight me. Do it now I'll let you take your glasses off first."
Alex reached us.
"What?" she asked looking from one of us to the other.
"Terri said she could beat me in a fight."
Alex laughed, "Do I have time to get everyone else?"
"If you go fast."
Alex turned and ran. Terri stared at me.
"Should I leave?"
"No," I told her, "You just need the shit beat out of you."
"What?"
"Look," I said, "Carlie doesn't like you. You insult her too much. You do it to everyone. You've got to get punished for it, and if no one else does it Carlie will. She'll hurt way fucking more than I will."
"You planned this?"
"We knew someone had to do it soon."
"We?" Terri asked, "That makes more sense."
"What?"
"You're not smart enough to think this up on your own."
"Take your fucking glasses off."
Terri pulled her glasses off and held them in one hand while she said, "So whose idea was it? You're not the smartest. You're just the one Carlie likes the best. You're the stupid puppet. So whose the smartest?"
I punched her as hard as I could in the face. She went down hard. Her glasses went flying. I dropped down so my knees landed in her stomach. She gagged and I thought she was about to puke on me. I punched her in the face again and she tried to raise her arms to hit me. I moved my knees so they were on the inside of her elbows. I hit her in the face again.
"She started already!" Rebecca's voice shouted.
"Fucking bitch!" Carlie said. I heard them all running over.
"It was my fucking idea," I spat at her, "They're all my fucking ideas. Someone else has an idea they say it."
I hit her face again and my fist slips on the blood.
"I'm no fucking stupid puppet," I told her. I grabbed her hair and lifted her head up, then slammed it down against the ground, "Watch your fucking mouth. You don't know everything."
Terri threw herself up suddenly and I fell off her. She jumped to her feet and kicked me in the stomach. Then her shoe caught me in the face. I rolled over onto my feet and ran at her. She tried to just dodge me, but I grabbed her back, clawing and scratching. She elbowed me in the jaw and kicked me in the shin with the back of her heel. I grabbed her necklace and pulled it tight around her throat. While she tried to loosen it I turn and kneed her as hard as I could in the stomach. I let go of her necklace as she puked, and she landed on her hands and knees. I stepped back.
When she finished puking, she sat back on her heels and looked around at everyone staring down at her. Carlie held out her glasses. No one said anything.
"So," Terri asked finally, "Do I leave now?"
"She leaves, I leave," Kim said.
"Why would you leave?" Carlie asked Terri. Terri opened her mouth then closed it a few times. Something was filling my mouth. I spat into the dirt and laughed.
"Hey," I said, "When I spit blood comes out."
"Yeah that's cool," Rebecca said rolling her eyes. I spat blood on her.
"Fuck!" she squealed. Alex laughed and I spat on her. Kim was next in line. Mouse ran away from me, and by the time I caught her, my spit was just spit.
"Dammit!" I said, "Terri. Hit me again."
Terri wiped at her wet eyes. Some more blood gathered in my mouth and I ran after Mouse, this time getting her good.
"I don't get it," Terri said.
"Get what?" Carlie asked, "You got the shit out of you. You're little and you've got a big mouth. It's bound to happen."
"No. I mean, like you don't care."
"Not really."
"I don't get it."
"There's nothing to get. You got beat up, because you need to get beat up. Now we're going back to the tree house, because I've got food. It's real simple."
Carlie offered a hand to help her up. Terri stared at it. I walked by and spat blood on both of them.
"You didn't just fucking do that," Carlie said.
"I did," I answered. She lunged at me and I turned and ran through the woods. Everyone ran after us. Carlie let me run to the base of the tree then, tackled me.
"You're turn," she said. She sucked up every bit of moisture in her mouth and spat on my face. Everyone howled with laughter as I wiped my face. Mouse stepped over us and started to climb the ladder to the tree house. Rebecca went next, then Alex and Kim.
"Learn your lesson or do you need another one?" Carlie asked.
"I learned!" I said quickly. Carlie rolled off of me and I followed Kim up the ladder. Carlie followed, then a few feet up saw Terri standing there, not doing anything.
"You coming up?" she asked, "Or did big bad Rachel hurt you too bad?"
Terri shook her head and started up the ladder.
We got to the top and stared expectantly at Carlie's bag. She had said there was food. Carlie climbed in, and moved just far enough that she wasn't blocking the door. Then she sat down. The sitting was closer to collapsing than anything. We watched as she rolled up the leg of her jeans and bent her leg slowly. It was red at some parts and purple at others. Some spots looked like the skin was too tight, other spots looked like it was too loose. Terri looked at each of us like she expected one of us to ask. She had never seen Carlie's leg.
"You said there was food," I said. Carly nodded and gestured for me to toss her bag over. She didn't let us go into it, ever. It made sense I guess. She carried anything from drugs to guns in there, and letting a bunch of kids between seven and eleven mess around with that stuff was probably not a good idea. I tossed the bag over, and Terri didn't take her eyes off Carlie's leg. Kim was looking too, but she didn't seem to care why.
Carlie fumbled with the zippers on the bag.
"What happened to your leg?" Terri asked finally testing whether or not she was allowed to speak. Carlie stopped fumbling and looked at her.
"Nothing recently," she answered.
"Then when did it get all messed up like that?" Terri asked. Carlie opened the bag.
"The night Rachel saved my ass," she whipped out a paper bag, "So, some lady walked out of the deli with like five bags. She put one on top of her car and forgot it there. I think only one of the sandwiches suffered. That one can be Mouse's."
Mouse glared at her. Carlie smiled, "I'm kidding. There were eight sandwiches."
"Eight?"
"Well seven now. The other one got run over."
We jumped on the bag, and Carlie had to crawl out from under the pile clutching her leg and laughing. She was pretty much an ass, but you could see it in her eyes sometimes when she helped someone out and liked it.
"So," Alex asked, her mouth full, "How'd Rachel save your ass?"
We hadn't even told Rebecca and Mouse what had happened that night, so Carlie had everyone's full attention. She liked it. She took a big bite of her sandwich, chewed then swallowed.
"Well we were doing this house," she said, "Real fucking big. A mansion. And the guy wakes up. He comes down with this fucking rifle in his hands and spots me right off. He's yelling like hell so there's no way Rachel didn't hear him. And instead of running out, she runs into the room we're in. There's this huge ass fish tank, with a bunch of fancy lights and shit. He's got his back to it, and Rachel climbs up next to it. He's about to blow my head off, and Rachel knocks the thing over on him. Gun goes off, tears off a chunk of my leg, but he lands in the water, and the wires from the lights do to. He gets electrocuted, dies right off. Then instead of running before the cops showed, Rachel dragged me out of there."
When she said it, it sounded like I did something cool. Carlie took another bite, swallowed, then frowned. She put a hand on her stomach, a look of pain on her face.
"You okay?" Rebecca asked.
"Yeah," Carlie said, "Just haven't eaten much lately."
She sat there for a second, staring at her knees. She was trying not to puke. Food was too hard to get to just go and puke it up again. Carlie stood slowly, and limping back and forth. She lit a cigarette from her pocket.
"Fuck," she muttered scratching her neck, "What the fuck was on that?"
"Ham," Rebecca answered, "Cheese. Lettuce. Mayonnaise."
"Mayonnaise is like eggs right?" Carlie asked. She was scratching her arms now.
"Yeah," Terri said, "Egg whites."
Carlie limped quickly over to one of the unfinished walls of the tree house. She puked over the side.
"Fuck," Carlie said gasping for air.
"What?" Terri asked, "Are you allergic to eggs?"
"Yeah," Carlie answered, "And I lost my cigarette."
She scratched her neck with one hand, and her stomach with the other.
"How allergic are you?" Terri asked her.
"I won't die or anything," Carlie said. Terri opened her mouth to answer, and Carlie's eyes rolled back into her head. Her legs and arms started jerking. She fell straight through the rotted out boards.
It took her forever to hit the ground. I don't know when I jumped to my feet. All I know is I was standing by the edge with my arm reached out. I watched her fall the whole way down. It felt longer than the rest of my life had so far. All I could think of was how I couldn't do anything. How no matter how many years it took her to hit the ground, I would still be standing there, watching, helpless.
I knew it was about to happen, but my eyes wouldn't close. She hit the ground and the sound of it hit before the picture did. There was a crack. It seemed too quick. Too final for the fall. Too quick, too final for Carlie.
She was sprawled out on the ground. Her legs and arms bent at angles that looked unnatural. The sun going down caught the blood pooling under her head just right so that it glistened. Her blank eyes stared up at nothing. She looked small and pathetic from where I was. There was a body, but there was nothing left of her.
Rebecca reached across my chest and pulled me back. I glanced around the tree house too quickly for anything I saw to register and ran for the ladder. I scrambled down, skipping rungs, my feet slipping. I missed a step and fell the last few feet, my stomach hitting every step as I skid across it. I went to land flat on my face, but righted myself just before I hit the ground. I ran to Carlie and skidded to a stop about a foot from her.
I stood over her, breathing heavily and staring. Up close was even worse. Her head was the wrong shape. Her face was the wrong shade. Her eyes had the wrong look.

Carlie was dead.

I dropped to my knees. I didn't check for a pulse. I didn't try to talk to her. I knew that the person who had once been Carlie was gone. I lifted her head. A rock jutted out of the ground. There was a matching hole in the back of her skull. It had crushed into itself. I put her head back down. I didn't want to look at it anymore.
I heard everyone coming down the ladder and standing on both sides of me. They all looked. Someone choked. I fixed her. I started with her legs, pulling them so they were straight. Before I put her arms at her sides, I went through her pockets.
Terri started to protest.
"Just 'cause she's dead," Alex said, "Doesn't mean she'd want us being idiots and leaving something."
Tucked into her waistband was a gun. In her pockets was a switchblade, four crumpled dollar bills, a lighter, and a pack of cigarettes. There was a small notebook, and a pen. She had a pair of gloves in her jacket pocket. I pushed her arms to her sides, and turned her head so she was looking up at the sky. Mouse dropped down next to me. She reached over and pulled Carlie's eyes closed. She left her hand resting on Carlie's face, while she just stared at her head. Or what used to be Carlie's head. I grabbed Mouse's hand and pulled it back. I leaned back on my heels, Mouse's hand still clasped in mine. Neither of us did anything to pull away from it. We were holding on. We had to hold on to something.
"What do we do now?" Kim asked. They all looked at me.
"We bury her," I decided swallowing, "Then we move."

We came to a clearing in the woods. Mouse set down Carlie's things, and the rest of us set down her body. We kneeled in the dirt and started to dig with our hands. We dug until the hole was deep, and we could only see the moon and a few stars in the sky. I took Carlie's lighter and lit the top of a stick. I shoved it in the dirt. I liked the way it looked and did it with a few more sticks. We lowered her into the hole. Tears wet everyone's faces but mine and Mouse's.
"Okay," I said.
"Are you going to say something?" Terri asked.
"I'm supposed to say something?"
"I guess. I don't know. Not really."
"Sure," I said, "Um, how about what kind of retard eats mayonnaise when they know they're allergic to eggs?"
"That's so-messed up," Terri said.
"Carlie would love it," Alex decided. I went over to Carlie's stuff and picked up the cigarettes. I pulled one out, then dropped the rest in the hole. We covered her with dirt, and stood around the grave in a circle for a minute. I took the cigarette and lit it from one of the burning sticks. I took a drag and struggled not to cough. I passed it to Mouse. We passed it around in the circle, until the cigarette and the sticks went out.
We stood in the dark for a while. No one wished we had brought a flashlight. Carlie was dead. We looked at the pile of Carlie's stuff. Carlie was dead.
"So who gets it?" Terri asked. Carlie was dead. We knew Terri's question meant whose in charge now. Because Carlie was dead, and she was never coming back. We would never see her again. She would never feed us again. She would never save my ass again. She would never get that look in her eyes she got when she liked making people happy and didn't want to admit it. She was the one who told us what to do in the morning. Without her we wouldn't know what to do. She was the one who told us where to get food. Without her we wouldn't know where to get food. She was the one who kept us alive. Without her we would die.
I don't know why, but I turned and kicked the tree behind me. It hurt my foot, so I kicked it again, screaming this time. I pulled out my blade and stabbed the tree. I jerked it out and stabbed it a few more times until it got stuck.
"Rachel," Rebecca said.
"What?" I spat at her.
"No. I'm just saying it should be you."