Abandoned
an excerpt

I have posted a new excerpt. For those of you who haven't read my previous excerpts, this novel tells the story of a woman(Joan) who had fallen in love with a man who had run off with her twin. When the man(Frederick)returns and Joan realizes he had been tricked into running away with her sister she wants to be with him but is unable to trust her former flame.

At the point where this excerpt comes in, Joan has started a relationship with another man who turns out to be violent and controlling. She feels, like most controlled woman, that his anger is her fault. This excerpt is the climax of her relationship with that man and Freddy's reaction when he finds out how she has been being treated. Hope you enjoy.

Oh and Freddy's mother has shown up with an hieress that she is intent on seeing her son married to.
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Until last night Joan had not even known that she still wanted to be with Freddy. But after a good sleep she had decided that they had waited too long for a love that was inevitable. She was going to break it off with Colin on their ride today. But now she wasn’t sure if that was such a good idea. If she was going to have opposition then maybe Frederick could stand to have some for a little longer. Besides a drive with Colin would allow her some time to decide what to do about this new development.

“I am pleased to meet you, Miss D’Alene.”

To add to the already piled high drama, Gibson announced that Mr. Richards had arrived and was waiting for Miss Moore in the drive. Frederick rolled his eyes dramatically, but didn’t press Joan not to leave with him.

Frantically she gave an apologetic smile to Colette and then to Frederick who was barely acknowledging the fact that she was leaving. He crossed his arms over his chest then nodded his head towards the door instructing her to go. She didn’t need his consent but she had been unconsciously waiting for it. Grabbing a warm shawl from Gibson’s outstretched hand she waved goodbye and left the house.

Colin was looking at his watch when she came out to meet him. He hurriedly helped her into the carriage and then slid into the seat beside her. “It took you long enough to get out here.”

She felt rather than heard the chill in his icy tone. He was reprimanding her for taking two minutes too long. She had hope that after a good night’s sleep he would have been easier to talk with. Joan was now thankful that her relationship with Colin was going to come to an end today. He had changed dramatically and she didn’t like the person he had become. Not ready to spill the regret at ending their relationship, she meekly responded to his first curt comment.

“Weatherly had guests come in this morning. I couldn’t just leave without giving them a reason.” He didn’t reply to her explanation. Colin just sat there stone faced not even looking at her. They drove for several minutes before he said anything. Even then it was only small talk about the weather or the health of his horses.

After what seemed a life time, but had only been maybe twenty minutes, Colin pulled off onto a side rode and stopped the carriage just inside a an area shaded from the road. No one would be able to see them there, and she thought she knew why he chose it.

A nagging apprehension ran through her skin in tingling sensations. Joan could sense a powerful rage igniting in Colin like an animal on the prowl. He put his reigns aside and inched closer to her anxious body. Sweat beaded along her brow and she wasn’t sure where he was going with this.

“I am ready to go back now.”

“I don’t think you are.” He grabbed her wrists pulling her roughly toward him. “Don’t you want me anymore?” Colin put his hands on her breast and ignored her attempts to stave him off. She could smell the scent of whiskey on his breath.

He pushed his weight on top of her and breathed heavily on her neck. How could she have ever trusted this man? He wasn’t the Colin she had met on the train. He wasn’t the man she had kissed. It made her wonder at whether he had been pretending all the time. Had a vicious man lurked under his cool façade all along?

His knee pressed into her side as he loomed over her in powerful oppression. His kisses rained heavily on her neck and face and she wanted to vomit. His hands groped her wildly. When she tried to wriggle away from him he only increased his pressure and held her pinned to the seat. His sweaty hand moved to her bodice, when she tried to stop him he ripped at the thick fabric with so much force that it ripped to expose the creamy flesh above her breast.

“Get off.” She hit at him and he held her arms tighter. She could feel the bruises forming on her delicate wrists. Kicking her legs and kneeing him wherever she could, Joan fought to make him stop. “Colin, please.” Her blue eyes were tear streaked as she pleaded with him to stop. “Please.”

As if coming back to himself he pulled his lust filled body off of her. A cold sweat dripped from his face. “Stupid, bitch.” He spit the words out at her.

His words stung. What had she done to make him so angry? Why had he done this to her? She didn’t care, she just wanted to get away. Fearful tears ran down her cheeks as she contemplated the fact that he could have done anything to her and she would have been helpless. She had trusted him too easily. Her hate for Freddy had caused her to throw herself into the arms of a man she had never really known.

Joan dared to look over at him and saw a sinister expression rounding on his pale face. The face that she had once thought boyishly handsome now filled her with panic. Her hand shook and she held it to the leathery seat to quell the trembling. A hostile gun of disturbing hatred was poised on her underneath Colin’s skin. Joan prayed she did not make him pull the trigger before she was safely inside the protection of Weatherly’s walls.

She felt immediate relief at seeing the high towers of Weatherly. She would have jumped from the carriage if she could have. But she didn’t want people to know about this. She didn’t want anyone knowing how stupid she had been. Shame. Again she felt shame. Shame for being helpless. Shame for not realizing that Colin could not be trusted. But she also felt mercy. God had kept her safe from the hands of a man gone mad.

Her soul didn’t believe that Colin was a bad person inside. The events of last night must have driven him over the edge. She forgave him for his explosion toward her. Joan would cease their relationship immediately but she did not blame him. She had strung him along. Her lips had kissed his and she had let him believe that she felt something for him. This was her fault.
When they reached the front drive at Weatherly Joan reached for her shawl and tried for a swift exit from the carriage. Colin was swifter. He came around to her side and helped her down. Holding her wrist tightly he whispered silkily in her ear.

“You made me do that, Joan.” He kissed her temple. “I forgive you.” His demonic eyes rove into her soul and Joan was grateful for her life. She saw now what a dangerous man he was. Even if she had drove him to it, even if she was guilty, the look in his eyes was murderous.

Joan watched Frederick bound down the stairs in a fury intent on retrieving her from Colin. He couldn’t have known what had happened. Richards noticed him too and whispered on more message in her ear while squeezing her already bruised wrist.

“This isn’t over.” Then he jumped back into the carriage and with a nod to Freddy he went off down the road.

“You were supposed to be gone twenty minutes, Joan.” He barked at her. “It has been well over an hour. Where have you been?”

The daunting reality of where she had been and what could have happened to her if not for the grace of God crashed down on her with such a force that she could barely stand. Unable to take Freddy’s scrutinizing glare she put her hand up to him and headed for the hill they had had their picnic on.

Taking in deep gusty breaths she felt her paper thin composure rip. She knew that Freddy was following after her and she didn’t care. Joan just wanted to get up to the top of that hill and scream. She wanted her lungs to bellow to the rooftops of every house in the village. Then she wanted to break down and cry. And when she did she wanted Frederick’s arms to comfort her.

When she reached the top of the hill the scream she desperately needed would not deliver itself to her voice. When the scream failed her the tears left too. She needed to cry and she couldn’t. It was the worst feeling she had ever had. Joan tried to produce even one purifying tear. Nothing. She could feel the breakdown in her bones, her chest, her body shook with undulating waves of grief but no tears came to her eyes.

Strong arms wrapped around her pulling her to his chest. Frederick whispered soft words in her ear that washed away the hateful ones that Colin had just put there. He could sense her despair and prayed that he was not the cause of more pain. Patterson new that his mother’s untimely arrival would be cause for added heartbreak. But he would sooner see his mother leave than to see Joan shed one more tear.

“Darling, please don’t cry over my mother’s coming. She is going back where she came from tomorrow.”

“It’s not that.” She turned into his chest and listened to the calming rhythm of his melodic heartbeat. He turned her face up to his so he could look into her eyes. He saw the undying need to tell him something that she didn’t have the words for. He had never seen her like this. Even when she had been screaming at him she had never looked so frightened. Her blue eyes had never been shaded in self doubt.

“Joan, what is it?”

She left his embrace and walked to the edge of the hill. Her soft blonde hair whipped in the wind. She bit at her lip and then he knew she was in trouble.
“Joan talk to me.”

Her daunting face turned so that he could look at her full on. Putting her hand to her head she rubbed at the perspiration that was collecting on her furrowed brow.

“Joan.” He rushed to her grabbing at he wrists. When she winced at the pressure he turned her palms up to him so he could insure that he had not caused her unintentional pain. “My god, what happened?”

He studied the purple bruises blackening her soft skin and building dark circles on her delicate wrist. She turned her face away from him as the salty tear she had been begging for finally came to a bud in her eye lash and then streamed down her cheekbone. He didn’t have to ask her where the bruises had come from. He could see it on her face and he cursed himself for not protecting her from a man he had not trusted.

“I could kill that sorry bastard.”

He looked her over for further injuries and was glad to see that she was free from them. Then he saw the rip at the top of her dress. There may be injuries that he couldn’t see. He didn’t want to ask her, but he needed to know. “Did he hurt you in any other way?”

“No.” She didn’t need to ask what he had meant. Joan knew what Colin would have done to her if she had not been able to convince him to stop. She would have been truly ruined. No man would have had her, and she would not have been able to be with any man. The scars that would have resonated from such a horrific act would have left her wounded beyond repair.

Frederick was still steaming mad at the hate that he had for Colin at that moment. He held Joan close to his body and kissed her hair. She had been saved today by nothing other than luck. If Freddy ever saw that man again he would not be responsible for what might happen. “He won’t hurt you again.”

“I know. But I am still scared.”

“There’s no need for fear. I will protect you little one.” She hugged him around the waist and buried her face into his chest feeling warm and safe. After a few more minutes of warmhearted moments with Joan in his arms, Freddy knew that they couldn’t wait out here forever. With his mother’s arrival, the rule free world they had been living in was gone, Joan’s behavior would be judged under a crude eye. As much as he would love to stay just as they were, he wouldn’t have her subjected to malice on his account. “We need to go back, my love.”

Going back was not something that Joan had wanted to do. Her near ruin at the hands of Colin had not afforded her anytime to decide what to do about Marietta and her vivacious guest. She had a lot on her mind. Joan laughed at the irony of it all. She had left London to get away from the drama, now she was constantly surrounded by it. Her life was one well written tragedy. Shakespeare could not have developed a string of such disastrous events.

“I would rather not go back.”

“We must.”

“I don’t want to face your mother…or her stunning companion.”

“Joan, you have nothing to fear. I prefer blue eyed blondes.”

“As your record has proven.”

She laughed gaily at what would have brought her to tears in the past. Frederick looked visibly relieved when she had launched into gales of hearty laughter. Her heart had not broken over a mention of his horrid debacle last year. Joan realized that that was the first sign that she was honestly, for real this time, getting over Frederick’s betrayal last Christmas. It felt good to find humor in the situation. With every chuckle another piece of her heart seemed to mend. Now all she had to do was go into that house and face Marietta. Hand in hand they walked down the hill, preparing to face the dragon queen together. “I think I’m ready.”

“For what?”

“A fresh start.”

Frederick didn’t know if she meant with him or just in general, but he took her words as a sign that good things were on the way.