Synopsis: Squabbledom

I do like the idea of birds being able to write, and if they could I bet some of them would write stuff just like this. Have you ever looked out of the window only to see a huge Gull scatter a bunch of crows or magpies? Or seen the way the little birds sometimes glare at ones that are ten times their size, as though they’re plotting to kill them? If not, I bet you think I’m crazy to think that birds would think like this, but let’s put it this way: The family Corvidae, which includes birds like Crows, Ravens, Rooks and Magpies has some of the world’s most intelligent birds. Magpies have been shown to be self-aware. That is that they can recognise the other bird in a mirror as themselves. The only other animals that can do this are: Humans, Asian Elephants and most of the great Apes, and maybe one or two others. Now tell me that those things are bird brained. If Dinosaurs hadn’t gone extinct the raptors probably would have learned to use tools eventually and we all know that birds did branch off from dinosaurs a little over 70 odd million years ago.

What follows is a fictional account of the logs that several different bird species would write during a war that involves the vast majority of species living in a small, coastal town on the South coast of England. Of course the reason the war even started has kind of been lost over the generations, so the various factions have decided to write down what happens every day to try to work it out. You decide whether or not they actually get anywhere.