Android Lunch Ladies and Luvvvv (clearly a working title)
an excerpt

“And the really zonky cool thing about Wicker Spix is that, if he is elected president, he will replace all the gym teachers with ninja masters and all the lunch droids with Zizuos!”
I heard a collective gasp spread like a circuit breaker through the auditorium. Perfect. I obviously had the election in the bag.
A kid in the third row raised his hand. I buzzed him in. “Hey, Wicker,” he said. “Is all this for real? Like, do you really promise this stuff or are you just trying to get us to vote for you?”
There was mumbling in the crowd. I amplified the volume on my hip mic. “Ladies, gentlemen, droids, and bots of Crunkano Middle School, I promise on Principal Prum’s hardware, software, and spyware updates that I am 100 percent serious. My campaign promises are promises, and you get what you vote for.”
I switched off the mic and took a bow to thunderous applause. I sensed it was going to be a good year for Wicker Spix.

* * *

There was some comfort in the fact that, a week later, I didn’t come in dead last. I had a total of 14 votes, which put me ahead of Flory Duchess by 12. Flory didn’t give a campaign speech; instead, she performed an interpretive dance of some wicked old song called “Y-M-C-A” by the Pillage People or something like that. She claimed that everybody would know it, but that song must be two thousand years old. Flory basically lives in her own world. I hear she still has a DVD player at home.