Excerpt: Phantom Eyes

“NO!” I screamed, but it was too late. With a swift motion Jake brought his knife up and slashed across the creature’s front. With a guttural cry it fell to the ground, twitched and was still.
There was silence.
I stared at Jake in shock. I felt numb; I couldn’t believe I’d just seen him mercilessly kill a defenceless creature, however mercenary or evil the race might be. My mind seemed frozen in time, the only marking of it passing was Jake’s heavy breathing as he looked down at the creature he had just killed. After a moment, he turned on his heel and began to walk away.
“What did you just DO?” I shouted at his back. He paused and turned to look at me, his eyes dark.
“How could you do something like that?” I continued, the emotion welling up in me now, as I walked over to where he was standing, “That was an unarmed creature! You can’t just kill it!”
“It was a Macrinov,” he said, his face hard, “it had to die. That is our job.” His eyes were piercing into mine.
Something nudged in the corner of my mind. I knew why he was doing this.
“No it isn’t! We are here to protect the human race, not to commit a sadistic massacre!” I was shouting into his face now.
“I know what we have to do, Allie, and I am doing how it should be done. If you can’t cope with what it’s really like out here, then maybe you shouldn’t be in this job,” he said, his eyes narrow.
“Shut up! You’re the one who should get out of here; I’m not trying to wipe out an entire race!”
“Stop being so pathetic,” he said harshly, “so I killed one unarmed Macrinov. There are thousands out there trying to destroy the human race.”
I was borderline hysterical. “I don’t care! You have no right to just take a creature’s life like that – it wasn’t even going to hurt you.”
“You don’t know that,” he said. It sounded like he wanted to say “anything.”
It was too much for me. The memory that had been at the back of my head now opened up and I could not stop myself from letting loose with my anger.
“You can’t do this, Jake! This is about your parents, isn’t it? Every time you kill something, you’re back there wishing you could change it, knowing you should have done something, knowing that it is your fault they're dead. Well here’s a news flash for you, Mr Guilty, this is not all about you. This job is not an outlet for your anger, it is not there for you to try and pathetically make amends for what you did or did not do, and whatever you try and do, it is not going to bring them back. They’re dead, Jake, and it’s about time you accepted it and started focussing. This is a job; you need to take your personal life out of the equation – otherwise you’ll turn out to be a shitty fighter, and a shitty person to be around.”
I took a breath, not quite believing I’d just said all that. I was standing close enough to him to see the effort he was putting into remaining standing, though whether he was willing himself not to break down in front of me or restraining himself from punching me I couldn’t tell. He was still staring at me with a mixture of anger and hurt on his face, and I stared back into his eyes, determined to show him I meant what I said, even though I had already begun to regret it all.
Eventually he slowly turned, and silently began to walk away from me. I looked down at my feet, wondering whether to apologise, follow him or stay where I was. I thought over all I’d said, and the tears began to well, partly in reaction, partly in regret.
As Jake reached the entrance to the cave, he stopped.
“You know nothing of how I feel,” he said, without turning around.
He walked out of sight, and I collapsed on the ground next to the dead Macrinov, tears streaming down my face.