Excerpt: Reste encore

When I arrived at the tearoom, Richard and I made coffee, because we couldn’t even feel like having tea, and then we were quiet, as if we didn’t know what to say.
- I saw Nicolas! I said.
- Yeah? said Richard, putting the mug in the sink.
- With his girlfriend! I said.
- And was she pretty? he asked.
I recalled her face, the unsteadiness of her gait, like a marionette without the threads. Marionette made of the lightest wood, with hair the color of dark honey.
- She was beautiful! I said.
Richard nodded and sat on the couch, playing with a bunch of keys, at first he counted them, then split them from each other.
- You do not care at all! I said, irritated.
- No! he said quietly. - Why should I? I don‘t want to go out with Nicolas!
I laughed and sat down beside him.
- So what? he asked suddenly. - You got what you wanted?
- Yes! I nodded.
- And are you happy?
- Yes. I'm happy! I said quietly. - I just think that Sébastien's not.
Richard looked at me and I started to talk, it was perhaps the first time he was really listening to me.
- I think he feels guilty. That he takes it as a betrayal towards Marie-Pierre. All he gives to me, he gives just because he feels like he has to. That he must repay for those years I was waiting for him.
- And that's enough for you? Richard asked. – I’m sorry, but this sounds like an advertisement for an insurance company. Reward for loyalty.
I smiled sadly.
- I know. I'm still waiting for that to change.
- Again you waiting for something? he shook his head. – Can you explain to me why you‘re doing it? Why are you destroying your life so systematically? Throwing away everything you have. Repelling those who love you. Conforming everything to him. And what does he conform to you?
- I don‘t know. I do not think like this! I said. - True love begins where you don‘t expect anything in return.
Richard got up and went to unlock the door. When he returned back, he looked at me.
- I never doubted your love! he said quietly.