Excerpt: Cave Dweller

Lilly thought her heart would explode. Shug Jennings stood in front of her, his hat in his hands, his dirty face streaked with sweat and tears in his eyes.

“I… I’m sorry, Shug. I have to get the girls cleaned up and supper ready before Chark comes home,” she whispered.

“Lilly, darlin’, Chark ain’t coming home. Don’t make me tell you this again. I can’t bear it,” his voice thickened with grief as he trailed off.

“No, no, Shug. He’ll be home. He always comes home.”

“Momma, is something wrong?” Elizabeth asked as she pushed into the doorway beside Lilly.

“No, honey, go back inside,” she tried to push her oldest daughter back into the house.

“Hey Shug!” Elizabeth beamed at him.

Lilly watched the tear hover on his lashes and then roll from the outer edge of his eye. She heard Elizabeth catch her breath and then ask why he was crying. She listened to him break down, watched the huge bear of a man cry, shoulders heaving. He was Chark’s best friend.

“Momma?” Elizabeth’s eyes turned to Lilly wide with tears.

“Go inside, honey.”

“But, Momma..”

“I said go inside,” Lilly screeched.

“I’m sorry Lilly,” Shug sobbed. “God, I’m sorry, Lilly. I tired to save him. I got to him as quick as I could, but he was buried. Please, don’t hate me, Lilly, please. I’ll help you and the girls, I swear I will.”

“Where is he? Where is my husband?”

“He’s down at the hospital,” he sniffled. “Do you want me to take you down there?”

She stared at him then said, “No, Shug. I’ve got to get the girls cleaned up and supper done. I’ll come down in the morning.”

“Are you sure, Lilly?”

“Yes. I have children to look after. I can’t just run off out to the hospital. He’ll still be there tomorrow, and maybe then, he’ll feel up to seeing all of us.”

“Lilly…” he started and then trailed off again. “Ok, darlin’. I’ll come by in the morning and pick you up.”

“No need. I’ll take our wagon. I need to pick up some things while I’m there.”

“Ok, Lilly. Ok.”

She watched him wipe at his face with his sleeve, and noticed that it just smeared the dirt around. That mine left all of them dirty and sweaty by the end of the day. Chark always came home nasty and smelly. But she loved the way he smelled after he’d had a bath. The way his dark hair glistened when it was wet, and the way the muscles in his arms and chest moved under his skin as he got ready for bed at night. When he pulled her against him as they settled for sleep, she always felt safe.

“Tell Marnie hello for me.”

“I… I… of course,” he whispered.

She stepped back inside the house and closed the door. Through the window she saw him stand there for a minute longer, turning his hat around and around in his hands. He seemed to not know what to do. She couldn’t understand why he didn’t just go home.

“Momma?”

“It’s alright E. Daddy’s at the hospital. There was an accident at the mine this afternoon.”

“Is he alright?”

Lilly turned and looked into the girl’s face. It was damp from a few tears shed. Just behind her stood Wanda, dark haired like Chark. On her hip was Alice chewing on her fist, barely a year old. Wanda’s face held the same question E had asked.

“Momma?” Elizabeth asked again.

“Go get cleaned up, girls so we can get supper and get to bed.”

“But Momma,” Elizabeth said as she stepped closer. “Shug was squalling like a baby, Momma. Is Daddy alright?”

“Elizabeth, I said get cleaned up! Now go!” she said louder and turned her daughter around by the shoulders and pushed her toward the back of the house.

Elizabeth took Wanda’s hand and with just one backwards glance, pulled her sister with her to get cleaned up. Lilly watched her, saw the tears in her eyes. Saw the accusation there, that she wasn’t telling them the truth.

She reached back and touched the door with the tips of her fingers, and when they disappeared into the hallway, her knees gave way. She sank to the floor with her hand over her mouth to stifle the sobbing, gulping for air. Slowly she rocked and cried, her mind railed against the very thought that her Chark was dead. Dead. Shug said he was dead!

“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!” she whispered. The pain in her chest, in her stomach made it next to impossible to breathe.

Gentle arms wrapped around her and a tiny voice said, “It’ll be ok Momma. We’ll take care of you.”

Lilly looked into the blue eyes of her oldest daughter, the eyes that matched her own, and saw that she had succeeded in hiding nothing from this child. The eyes that were older than they should be were spilling with tears, and her bottom lip trembled a little, but the arms held her with strength and determination.