Excerpt: My Other Life

Most people seem to like to start at the beginning of a story. Me? I turn to the end, see what happens there, and then work my way through the book to find out what made it happen. I feel really twitchy if I don’t know how things are going to finish up.

I like to know what makes things tick.

I was the kind of kid who took clocks apart to see what made them tick. You know the type? The geeky one, who sat in the library reading books while everyone else was out in the sun playing kiss chase.

So I like my life to be nice and ordered. Neat and contained. All the edges defined.

Be good if it stayed that way for longer than six minutes.

Now don’t get me wrong. I like my life really. I have a great job, a pretty flat in a nice part of town, a tight bunch of friends I can call on for rest and relaxation. I have a cat. But..

What’s it all about? Oh, I know, Alfie didn’t know either. But I want to know… god damn it, I need to know. What am I going to end up being in this life? Can I rely on a career to take me interesting places and fill in the spaces of my life that way? Will I be a spinster with my cat by my side? Will I be an unruly madwoman when I get to my 80s?

I ask these questions because I am missing that one little segment in my happy orange.. I am unattached with no one in sight.

I was sitting in a bar the other night with my friend Anna.

“where are all the good men…” I droned

“what do you want a good man for? Get yourself a bad one! “

“where are all the bad men then…” I droned again

“over there where the grass is greener. Get a grip girl!”

I love Anna. But don’t go there for tea and sympathy.

“you’re all right.. you’ve got your man”

“yes. Havent I just..”

Smug little bitch. Anna is happily ensconced in a large garden flat in Islington with a suavely goodlooking capstan of industry. Needless to say the cheaps counter at Sainsbury’s is not on her daily check list.

“don’t be such a smart arse. Nobody loves a smart arse”
“Martin does.” She said in her smart arse voice.

“Martin can pay for the next round then…”