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Genre: Literary Fiction
About Juniper34Location: Peoria, IL Home Region: Age:29 Favorite novels: Invisible Monsters (Read it about 10 times!) Favorite writers: Too many to name!! Favorite music: Heavy industrial or Metal...depends on the genre I'm writing!! Non-noveling interests: Figure skating, avid movie viewing and other media junkie type pursuits. |
Joined: Oktober 20, 2008 This Year: Municipal Liaison NaNoWriMo History: NaNoWriMo posts: 76 NaNoWriMo buddies: 7
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Synopsis: Loss is a Four Letter Word
Jonathan has left her in an empty echoing house, full of shattered memories of a happier time. Guilt ridden, shamed, and suddenly a single mother, Jenna is forced to deal with the consequences of her affair. Jenna has always loved attention, especially from the opposite sex. After losing practically half her body weight, she can hardly help but notice the change. Then the attention turns to wanting, which turns to lust, and winds up an out of control tumbleweed gaining momentum until one drunken night leaves her ruined. Caught inexorably in a downward spiral of grief, Jenna is drawn back to memories of her fatal mistake.
She keeps it secret as best she can, but Jonathan though sweet and trusting, is not stupid. He begins to suspect that something is wrong but is unable to confront her. He wonders if she's dissapeared, and mourns the loss even as he holds her in his arms every night. Jenna wants to reconnect, but she feels outside of herself, unable to see her husband for what he is. Her lifeline.
The death of her mother, throwing off the invisibility shroud of 40 extraneous pounds, and the more secret shame of being sexually abused as a child, all coalesce into a struggle for identity, survival, and the courage to stitch together the remnants of her family.
Excerpt: Loss is a Four Letter Word
I rolled down the window, letting the fragrant breezes rush through, feeling vague and unreal. The road unfolding in front of me, the yellow line's blurring with my tears. Melissa Etheridge on the stereo, dripping childhood nostalgia for the ghost of road trips past.
I could feel and smell her, the tang of doritos and the falsetto lilt of her singing. Jonathan was staring at me, his hand resting lightly on my upper leg, rythmically stroking his fingers in that nonsense soothing way.
"Are you okay to drive?"
I sighed, taking a split second to meet his gaze. "Yes."
I wanted to remember, to be immersed in the memories more then anything. The sound of his voice, and even the presence of his hand were distractions from that goal.
Even as the miles ticked by, the minutes that she had left on this earth were painfully limited. Though the death call had not happened, it would soon. I might only have this one last chance to see her.
That thought was like an itch in the back of my throat, tickling and worrying at me. The opening twang of Baby You Can Sleep While I Drive drifted tinnily through my speakers, and I could smell Wisconsin air and road signs advertising cheese teasing just behind my eyelids. Chicago was quickly approaching, and the immediacy of facing my mother in the last throes of her life weighed bricks on my chest. The vivid green of the mileage signs and their decreasing numbers seemed uncomfortably like a countdown.
"I wish I had been there for her." I said.
"Not so sure that would have helped."
I looked at him like he had slapped me. Though I knew that he hadn't meant it that way. "It's easy to say that. Maybe even easy to think that, but I should have at least been around."
"Really, Jenna, do you honestly believe she would have just quit?"
"No."
"Quit beating yourself up then." He smiled at me. I adored the way the lines around his eyes crinkled when he smiled. The crooked lines of his teeth had always given him a strange but endearing grin.
"Consider it done."
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