Excerpt: Thirteen

is he really there?
my ghost, my old ex-older brother,
my babysitter, my first taste of everything.
faith. loyalty. love.
grown up play that little girls should
never
cross paths with.
big bambi-like eyes of mine as he helped me with
my homework, impatient smirk of his as
my friend/his brother failed at courting me.
dear past: stay buried.
don’t know how long to pretend that that’s the best way.
dear future, dear kaz: no more letters.