The Good Life City
an excerpt

Sudden intimacy. That's my phrase for it. It has nothing to do with sex; it's when you feel very close to someone that, up until that point, you had little feeling of closeness for. Is it love? Maybe in a broad sense. I mean, I felt this way about Matt when he started talking about Mallrats back in ninth grade. I got a glimpse into a side of him I'd not seen previously, and took a liking to the guy. And Sam? He was some kid I didn't know at all, sitting there drawing. Then his notebook happen to fall open and some drawings fell on the ground. I looked at them, then at him, and I knew he and I were going to be good friends.

'That must be what I'm feeling now,' I lied to myself sitting here in Krispy Kreme looking at Jessica... No. I knew it was pointless to try convincing myself otherwise. I was in love.

I looked at her again and even though I had previously judged her as someone I didn't care to know, I now knew that my earlier judgment was just a pointless attempt to keep myself from liking her. I loved this woman more than I had any right to. It wasn't her being incredibly skinny with a taut stomach, or her large sensuous eyes, or lips fuller than most appreciate... Let me extrapolate. People didn't always like Angelina Jolie's lips. They grew on people. Me? I always loved them. Jessica's lips would have made Jolie drool with wanton lust and beg to kiss her. Most people would've called them "dick sucking lips" if they were trying to describe her to me, but I would've hit them for it. Watching her drink her coffee my mind floated away to some far away place and time where she would burn her lip on a cup of hot coffee, and I would be there to blow on it, look her in the eyes smiling slightly, and kiss her on her burnt upper lip in a silly yet charming way. Yeah I know, I sound like a big blubbering vagina fit for a Julia Roberts movie, but it was shortly after that thought that I realized I didn't care. Not about the Julia Roberts thing, see, but that here I was staring at her for minutes straight, and for once, I wasn't self-conscious about it, and it was past the point where anyone with half a brain would've been. I also realized I was smiling like I can't remember smiling before. She took another sip while smiling. She kept looking from me, to outside at passing cars, and back to me, who was smiling like a jackass.

She opened her wide eyes wider and incredulously smiled the words, "Would you stop it already? I get it, you like looking at me, okay?"

"I'm sorry, I'm not used to enjoying being around people."

"Well what about Matt? You're his friend, right? You like him don't you?"

"Matt's good people. Really good people. I honestly think that in ten years time we'll never see each other, but if we ever run into each other, we'll be glad to see each other and think back to fond memories. And we'll promise to stay in touch this time... But we won't." She looked at my curiously.

"So why were you at his party, then, if you don't think of yourself as close friends?"

"Honestly? I don't know... Because he invited me."

"Okay, but why did he invite you? He obviously thinks of you as a friend, right?"

"I- I don't think he does. I mean, we're friends, just not friends like he's friends with his other friends. There's something different there. Call me crazy, it's less of a typical friendship and more of an everlasting appreciation." There was no way I was going to use the word 'intimacy' while explaining this to a woman I'd fallen for. I wasn't that far gone.

"O... Kay." There was a pause as she took a drink, and I could think of nothing to contribute. "You are a little weird, aren't you?"

"Maybe just a little," I grinned, holding my thumb and forefinger close together.

"Well, I guess, I need to go. I really don't know how to thank you, but-"

And then, in a monotonous whisper that a bed ridden old man with throat cancer would've laughed at heartily, and shouted back 'Say it like a man, pussy!' I eeked out, "Let me take you out." What the fuck did I just say? (Even her look said, "What the fuck did he just say?") I cleared my throat and tried again. "If you want to thank me, let me take you out." This was worse than some cheesy teen comedy where the nerd overcomes his crippling fear of the hot chick in school. I then realized that while she didn't say anything to my first response, after my second her eyes veered off into space somewhere. She was actually considering it! This was my chance, now, quick, go! "Or you could even, y'know, stay. And maybe have another cup of coffee. Think it over, maybe." The spaceship she was following apparently took a corner and neared my face as that was the path her eyes took. She pressed her huge lips together in a small smile, amused.

"Okay, yeah. I could do with another cup."

"Another cup it is, then," I said as I got up, shouting to the minimum-wage-making-cashier behind the counter. "Barkeep, another coffee!" Jessica laughed, a little worried what she had gotten herself into.