I saw the opposite down below, and wondered what my MC would say to me...
Becca,
What. The. Heck?!
Every time you tease me with seeing an old friend or mentor, you kill them. You know, this is the reason people like you are commited. And not to NaNo, but to a hospital, for people with your sort of mental... issue.
Stop killing people.
And stop having my love interest stare down rugby players with horrificly short shorts on...
Thank you,
Dr. Steffan Drake, PhD.
----------





3,636 / 50,000
oct. 5, 2009 - 23 56
Not sure if this is the character/story I'm going to use for Nano, but he's been feeling chatty today so here you have it.
----------
Madam Olivia,
Today I write to you on account of the precarious situation at hand - or rather, the one that will be at hand if I do not address it immediately. I would be greatly obliged it if you would swiftly desist your efforts in provoking me in every manner possible - some of which are implicitly immoral, I daresay! It is shameful, and I will have none of it. My sense of self will only tolerate so much before it gives way to my wrathful nature. If that were to happen, madam, you would be the one responsible for the inevitable outcome. Not only is it cruel to the poor souls you have recklessly, and - dare I say it - heartlessly placed in my immediate vicinity, but I fear that you will find it to be unwise as well. After all, my dear madam, what is to say that I may simply refuse to bend to your will?
There is nothing, I assure you.
Yours truly,
Zacharias
45,086 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 00 18
Ooh! I'll bite!
Dear Kay,
What's with this? I got no problem with being handed a new case - even if it's an insane deja vu myth story in disguise like this one you just dropped in my lap - but do you have to go and ruin my marriage while I'm at it? Believe it or not, I get involved in my cases but I'm a family man. I kinda like having my wife and kid around. You know my daughter just turned ten? And you want to split up her parents? What gives?
~Miguel Maserati.
Considering what I've done and can do to characters in this story and others, this one may be one of the tamer letters I'd receive. Still.
----------2008 - Hotel Satoro - 20,000 words
2009 - Poplar and Peppermint
80,770 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 01 32
Ooooh... this is fun... let me see...
Dear Chautona,
Of all the insane ideas you've ever had, you had to pick time travel and social engineering. Seriously? Did you have to have them botch the first 'rescues'? Did I have to be the one they botched? I had a good life. I have a great family, wonderful friends, a fiancee I love, and you just took them all away. It's sick, I tell ya. Sick. Making me choose between the new and the old to save my friend. Even sicker. I can't believe you're doing this to me. People say you're a nice lady. They lie.
Disgusted,
Andrea
Dear Chautona,
I never imagined a simple desire to help another human being would land me with a snappy wife who makes my life miserable. I expected difficulty-- heck, I expected a little misery now and then, but this is ridiculous. It doesn't matter what I do, it's wrong. It doesn't matter how well the system works, it's wrong. It doesn't matter if we've admitted we're wrong, we get to hear again, just how wrong we are. Honestly, I think you, Andrea, and her constant stream of Ayn Rand quotes can jump off the high dive into an empty pool for all I care. Fix this. Now. Change the laws so I can divorce quicker-- anything!
Waiting and praying for a Dear John letter-- please!
----------John
Chautona~ Lost between the past and the present...
Nano 2006- Hope 101 (50K+)
Nano 2007- Argosy Junction (50k+)
Nano 2008- Thirty Days Hath (63k+)
Nano 2009- Volition (71k+)
42,103 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 02 42
Dear Khara,
Not too long ago I spent my days dreaming of happily ever afters and dreams come true and the wishes that were the dreams my heart made when I was fast asleep ... But as of today, I haven't had any of those sweet dreams, because I haven't slept. Instead, I have spent the past week swimming in the blood of seven dwarves, two formerly narcoleptic princesses, and more princes from the Charming family than I would like to recall. Just last week a prince was about to slip my glass slipper onto my foot by way of proposing when my once merely evil step-mother charged at him and chewed out his larynx. Killing them both was not exactly my cup of tea.
You've got to get me out of here! If it's not some chick in a red cape and her wicked-fast grandmother chasing me down in the woods, it's the tenth in a series of princes who wants to convince me to set off on some sick trip to repopulate the world with non-zombified people. The worst part is the fairies ... It's bad enough trying to outrun a regular zombie, but when former fairy godmothers coming popping into the cellar you've been safely hiding in for a few days, out of nowhere, trying to take a bite out of your skull, it gets to be more than you can take. I used to go to the tree over my dear mother's grave and sing for dresses of silk and silver and gold. Now I sneak there in the cloak of night and whisper stunted verses for machetes, knives, and anachronistic machine guns and flame throwers.
Please ... if there is any way-- be it answering a riddle or kissing a frog-- for this to end, like, yesterday ... make it happen! Otherwise I'll have no other choice but to take up Rapunzel's offer of sharing her tower, and I don't know how long I can take her boasts of beauty without shoving her out of her own window ...
Yours perhaps happily NEVER after,
----------Ella (aka, "Cinders")
58,924 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 03 44
Karlee,
Why are you pairing me up with some annoying and useless human girl? From what I've been told she's nothing special, just some idiotic wench who's living at a drug dealers house. Now if you would, and you will, please remove me from that pairing; I want nothing to do with it. I much rather continue my killing spree, it's much more enjoyable than abusing/romancing that human girl.
See ya,
Lukas
42,565 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 05 33
Alexander,
Many thanks to you for giving me the opportunity to see all of America, however I must say an objection. Nick's search for his parents and the key to his mysterious box is interesting, but wouldn't you rather talk more about myself and myself's adventures for your storybook? I am capable of talking to the animals! You forget that, I think. Nick does not believe me when I tell him this. Not many people do. That is acceptable though, as it is an uncharacteristic talent of most persons.
Still, as my writer you know this to be true, I hope. So I request that you move Nick to side character and talk more about my adventures for your storybook.
Salutations,
----------Sergei Tarasov
Alexander DeLuca
Writing Tips, Tricks, and Stories.
Six Months in Ipswich - Coming Soon
Follow Me on Tumblr or Twitter
72,599 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 07 58
Dear Fluffy,
For the love of god, you've had our story years now. The longest story you've had that's persisted.
So hurry up and FINISH IT.
Zanira.
----------Nanoing with the zombie muse, Daramor!
2005: Musical Scales (53K)
2006: Myra (50K)
2007: Dark of Day (50K)
2008: TKH, SS, FW & CaP (200K total)
2009: Lucidity, ??, DaC & ?? (Going for 200K again! \o/)
41,471 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 11 18
Dear Clara
THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING US TO EXIST. Admit it, you needed us. We were a godsend. Or rather, a Lochensend. Now, before you try to write anything completely ridiculous about us, which we know you want to because Lochen told us, you need to know a few things
1) We are not stupid. We are some of the smartest people alive (anymore)
2) We are friendly
3) We're feeling pretty good about ourselves right now, because we're alive, because we're the chosen ones
4) We really think you should come live with us and find salvation
So don't get into that kool-aid little-green-men tom-cruise CRAZY kind of cult stereotype. WE'RE SMARTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE, CAN'T YOU TELL?
Much love and peace,
the cultmembers.
P.S. can we please have a name? a proper cult has a name. We were thinking, "The Circle of Daedalus" because we had to watch our loved ones be idiots and die.
Dear Clara
I'm still not seeing why I have to be here except to mess things up and then make them better and then mess them up again like a freaking bird or something. I don't know why I think birds do that, but you know, all that wing flapping, up and down and such, it seemed to make sense at the time.
Also, do you like naming player-types names that begin with H? First Hunter, now me. And Hunter didn't have that much purpose either, to be honest, not that I have any idea who he is because he's in a totally different universe.
Hm.
Anyway, make me happy or I'll be obnoxious to everyone, including you.
Sincerely,
Holden
P.S. You're hot.
Dear Clara
I am not you. Really. I'm way different. For example... I'm... taller. And... slightly more superficial. Oh wait, you're slightly superficial too. Damn.
Please give me some kind of slightly interesting life story so that I can't just be your sick wish-fulfillment tool. Please.
Like, seriously, why is it that all of your female protagonists are always your age, smart, and charming (although hopelessly nonathletic)? I CAN'T BE AS WONDERFUL AS YOU WOULD LIKE TO THINK YOU ARE.
Deal with your problems and let me be my own person. For real.
Where to start? I want to be athletic. Actually, I want to be a swimmer. Like, on the swim team. I don't know why that's relevant to anything, but that's what I want.
Also, I want to be allergic to peanuts. I realize this makes things inconvenient for you. DEAL WITH IT.
xoxox
Olive
Dear Clara
----------I'm going to basically second everything Olive just said (and point out that I hate that you make us agree on everything) except with the added twist that it is not you to whom I have a striking resemblance.
Please make me less tall dark and handsome. Make me annoying and hard to read and insecure and sometimes a complete asshole. I would very much like to be an asshole, especially when I feel threatened.
Also can Olive and I not have obvious chemistry until 15,000 words in? I really hate being predictable.
What kind of music do I listen to?
You need to know these things.
Sincerely,
Tad
P.S. Thaddeus is a really really really dorky name. What the hell. You bitch.
06- The New Building <25K epic fail
07- Uberquad Girls 50K! but the plot was rambly and weird
08- Blue Hour Exit 76K!!
09- Inevitability (we'll see)
http://lovealwaysclara.blogspot.com - someone told me i should write every day so I do.
55,000 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 12 02
(This is not from my MC, but from a side character who is feeling very chatty.)
Dearest, um, Jadina is it? Oh right, of course, darling.
*ahem* The reason I am exerting my charming self to write this letter to you (what do you think of my new stationary? Isn't it divine? The duke's daughter--well, never mind if you insist.) Where was I? Oh right, I am writing to complain about how little time you are giving me in your story. Really, darling, I'm sure all your wonderful and handsome readers would love to know me better! After all, I am almost royalty. Speaking of royalty, you said you weren't going to tell about the time I dined with the Tisroc (may he live forever) and his dashing son Prince Rabadash! I bought the most adorably scrumptious dress for the occasion, and you won't let your readers hear all about it! Speaking of dresses, I absolutely refuse to have that girl (my dearest silly friend), sit on my skirt and shut the curtains so that none of the people can see my new dress! It is so expensive, why, Lady Gosomer nearly turned green with envy when she saw it! So the latest fashion! I heard that ostrich feathers are in now (I must get some!), one of the Tisroc's (may he live forever) wives wore them to that party I was unable to attend because you had me stuffed behind a couch in danger for my life! That reminds me, how can you possibly intend to make me do such things? It is an utter outrage, darling, to someone of my state! Think of my nerves.
I'm afraid, darling, that I need to finish this letter now as my hair dresser is here to do my hair for tonight's ball. My dearest husband bought me the loveliest dress for the occasion, and I hear the ambassadore from Galma will be there; he's so handsome, darling!
Very affectionately yours,
----------Lasaraleen
An idea in your book is worth two in your mind.
48,390 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 12 43
Dear Issa,
I'm not as commitment phobic as you seem to think I am. I just have a problem with dating my co-workers, let alone the apprentices that I'm tutoring in magic skills. I like my quiet and I like the way my life is set up at the moment, thank you very much. Jen is really cute and everything, but she's my best friend! I don't have any business thinking about how she looks or how she talks or the way that she walks...
*sigh* See what you made me do?
Grudgingly,
Rainstorm
--
Dear Issa,
Could you please stop thinking about throwing all these guys in my path that are clearly wrong for me? And I'd like to clarify that just because I don't date that I'm not pining for Rain; I'm just a normal girl who happens to be best friends with a guy that I work for, that's it.
Oh, who am I kidding? I'm in love with that idiot. Could you at least have him pull his head out of the sand long enough for him to notice me?
Thank you,
Jen
--
To whom it may concern:
I have a full-time job. I do not have time to grace your novel with my presence. I will, however, be available in 2010.
Respectfully,
Death
52,496 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 14 43
All my characters have been pretty chatty, but my mostly main character and villain seem to be most... prominent. So, I let them speak.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
God darn it Alivaster,
What the heck is wrong with you? You’re killing everyone just to make them angels?! Do you know how crowded it’s going to get up there? I liked the no traffic idea. And what’s the deal with making me fall in love with HIM? He’s a guardian! My opposite, a—okay… I admit, he is sweet… and kind… and—that’s not the point. Love is overrated... or.. it's supposed to me. It's all your fault! Just wait till you’re asleep! I’ll get you! And… your little—uh, BIG rabbit to! That…that wasn’t very imposing was it? But, you do have a rabbit... Oh whatever, that line is probably already used. And Quite trying to kill me. I’m DEAD. Mean anything to you? How do you die when you’re dead anyway? And what’s with making me seem like such a vulnerable GIRL just to make Nick come for me? Huh? I’m NOT a damsel in distress. I can deal on my own! What the heck is the matter with you?! At least give me SOMETHING good in this.
A Fuming Going to Be an Angel of Your Death Soon,
Haven
-----------------------------------------------------
Dear my Alivaster,
I have to say, I can’t give you applause for killing me and taking me away from my sister. I did quite enjoy being human. You have been great help and a brilliant listener. I thank you for your time. I have only one request and it is, please don’t harm my Haven. I could not imagine life now without her. She has done such a great deal for me, as have you. Please protect her, even if it means trading my immortal life for hers, however, if you decided I should be deceased first, I understand, but keep Haven happen. I await this adventure you will give me-us. *clears throat* After all, you are accompanying us. Please do try to keep up with us. I shall try to help in any way possible. Be sure to ready for a lot of running and flying, Ali. Please don’t think just because you’re our creator that you’ll be unaffected. Be well, and prepare!
Yours truly *kisses hand if I could*,
Ramón
--------------------------------
My Creator,
I'm prepared for WAR. I am deeply flattered you have me in your novel alast! I shall cause the havoc that you need and more. Death, killing, brouhahas? Dear not My Queen you shall be proud! When the two lovers burn in damnation, you will sing. They will forever be out of your grasp. I shall do the job you wish! They shall not outsmart me as with the trial with Kate... I realize that was a failure-- a deafening humiliation...but let us put that behind us! HUZZAH! Perhaps I can arrange a plague in your honor to kill the worthless ones. And Haven will pay for having cut holes in my socks. I must go and figure a way to rule the world! (Takes a lot of planning you understand.)
Made of Nightmares... Your Loyal and Serving Rebel Angel,
Raging Rodrick
P.S. Pardon my insanity. I believe Todd has spiked my drink again. None the less! Pardons my queen, my creator, my master.
----------NaNo'08 ---- "Keeping Sanity" -------- Fantasy ------- 52,562 Words --- WON!
NaNo'09 ---- "Love in Death" ------- Romance ----- - ? - Words --- -?-
34,037 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 15 17
Dear Author,
Why am *I* the bad guy here? Is it a crime to want to be beautiful? is it a crime to want to be loved? is it a crime to arrange the death of my step daughter. ....Umm, strike that last one.
My fashion sense is so sharp I could cut you with it! So watch out!
signed,
You want evil? I'll give you evil!
----------2006: Twelve Dancing Princesses in Medieval Russia
2007: Rupenzal during the Great Depression
2008: True Thomas in late Victorian New York
2009: Snow White... IN SPACE! (I swear I'll make it work!)
51,638 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 15 41
Yo--
People are gonna hate me for burning trees down. I was a stupid kid. You can't blame me. Hell, I can't blame me. But the readers? They ain't gonna care. Normal people don't care about me being a stupid kid. All they're gonna see when they read that paragraph is "burned" and "tree" and then they're gonna label me some kind of pyromaniac with eighty lighters stuffed in my pocket. What the hell is that lump in my pocket, anyway? Okay, that doesn't matter. What I'm saying is that if you want me to be a well-liked character, you ought to stop spending your nights thinking up things for me to set fire to and start giving me a decent history. You want me to burn that old oak tree to the ground, you gotta give me a good reason to do that.
You're seriously considering it, aren't you?
Inen
----------15,150 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 16 13
Dear Irin,
Why, oh, why do I have to go through the hassle of almost being killed before I can live the life I was meant to? For crying out loud, not all men in places of power have to be abusive! Of course, Victor is much easier on the eyes than that old man Luther. However, I am a strong woman (yes, woman... to answer your question, I am a newly-turned eighteen year old!) and can stand up for myself!
Also, why must you force me to make a fool of myself? I have a small idea how to cook, but you really can't blame me for that. Uncle Theron wished me to be a trophy wife and didn't care if a starved. (Did I ever mention how I hate that you have me stuck with that man as a relative? He is the most disgusting, vile human being I could ever think to imagine! Why did you have to remove my parents from my life at such a young age?)
In short, stop it with the silly, weak-willed damsel routine you want me to follow and put a little more backbone into it all!
Sincerely,
Rowena
-
To Madam Chendale,
Could you not have paired me with someone a little more agreeable than Rowena? She is beautiful and, yes, has a troubled past, but I am honestly sick of having to protect myself from her constant swings. It is a very sensitive area down there and I'd rather it not be damaged.
Also, why must I have a pre-teen stalker? Liliana is a sweet girl, but does she have to become so obsessed with me that she will do anything to prove herself? That girl is going to injure herself!
Lastly, I do not wish to be the blindingly loyal guard to Luther. I would like for it to be known from the get-go that I do not enjoy being employed by that man, but do it because I need the money and duty is important to me. I'd also prefer not to be portrayed as a pansy that runs from the first sign of trouble. After all, I made it to head guard status and do you think a man does that by running any time something rustles in the bushes?
Frustratedly yours,
----------Victor
31,010 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 17 20
Dear Sydney,
I'd formally like to thank you for finally growing to respect my desires as a character. The garish red hair dye was cringe worthy, I must say, and I'm glad that you have no longer insisted that I wear a black leather trench coat at all hours of the day. That was utterly ridiculous. Although those improvements might be positive, you're inclusion of Mark in my story line makes me rethink the previous statement. I'm not sure you're my new car and house can compensate for having that idiotic man in my presence.
Yours truly, Miles Freewater
_____
Dear Sydney,
First off, you're a bit of a bitch. Sorry, just had to say. No harm intended. Seriously. I had to get it of my chest. You took away my best friend, my job, my money, and my entire life, but you know what. I'm cool with it. I'm okay. I know it probably wasn't easy for you, but it sure isn't making my life much easier. I'm off to sweater in the jungle, kill an Eastern European dictator or two, and hopefully not fail at another career. If this goes to hell, you're going to buy me some very expensive Scotch.
Sincerely, Mark (you know my last name)
Sincerely, Mark
42,000 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 17 25
Dear Pi,
It's getting pretty lonely here in the NaNo section of your head. The only other character you've managed to put together is Glor, and she's just shallower than shallow. I recommend looking over my history again, because I'm having a hard time understanding how we would become best friends, even under the impossible circumstances you put me in. (Killing my parents? Do you know what 'cliche' means?!)
I understand that without her you would have no plot, but I'll come up with something if you chuck her out the window for me. I didn't like the plot anyway: catapulting me away from everything I've ever known? Not fun. They don't even speak English over in That Country (find a name for the place, already!), so what makes you think I'd want to live there with Glor? Do you remember Eels? That spunky girl from a totally different universe? I like her better. Figure out a way to get her involved in your Nano.
Also, I've been looking through the pile of possible subplots you've got stashed back here. And I've taken the liberty of destroying all the ones that involve me falling in love. Guys are idiots. Keep that in mind, and my life will go a lot smoother.
Also, you had nothing about gruesome deaths. I know you're not the most violent author out there. Don't worry. I can take care of all the murder. You don't need to come up with a killer (who would be nicer than me, surely) or much of a villain, even.
About myself: I'm seventeen, thanks for not even knowing my age. Also, why in the world did you pick a rhyming name? Do you try to torture me?
My version of the plot is still a little fuzzy, but I know it begins with lighting Glor on fire. And probably watching her burn. Then meeting Eels during my jail break, maybe?
Think over my suggestion.
You've still got nearly a month.
Your only (good) Nano character,
----------Alcina Relina
32,665 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 18 08
from my new MC...should be interesting..we don't know each other well.
J-Marie,
What one earth were you thinking? You couldn't just leave my life alone? Did you really have to twist it and manipulate it for your own amusement? I mean the least you could have done was kill Mischief. BUT NO! Instead you stick me with some psycho's who insist I am something I am not and then you kill of my friend. As if that's not enough you had to take him too!? What is wrong with you? can't I just be happy for one second?
...we are NOT friends..
Arcadia
can you tell she's a teenage girl? lol
----------34,035 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 18 16
Dear J,
Yeah, I kind of wanna take over the world. Should I have mentioned that?
I know, this turns me from well-intentioned comic relief to well-intentioned but manipulative and kind of sinister comic relief. But you can deal with that, right? No big deal.
Nikki
---------------
NaNo 07- The Januarian: 27k
Screnzy 08- The Mad Scientist of Brightwell Road: 100 pg. WIN!
NaNo 08- Six For Gold: 15k
JulNo 09 - The Cliffs of Thafrean: 35k
AugNo 09 - Woodcutter: 50k WIN!
NaNo 09 - Daughter of Paper Clips
38,144 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 18 30
Dear Author,
Hello? You never wrote me in again after disappearing in your NaNo '08 book! I didn't even make a cameo in the sequel! Am I just your convenient Other Planet Family Connection? And now you tell me that you AREN'T WRITING ANOTHER TREE HOUSE NOVEL? Am I going to be stuck in Alnera forever?
Figure out how to at least mention me again and get me home. No rush...
-Won
Dear Author,
You've started yet another book in where my family is being held at gun point. I've done this bit several times now. You're tired of it and so am I. While I'll miss starring in your next novel, I agree it's time to move on.
By the way, you MUST FINISH this story before November starts. Then I'll think about letting your new novel characters out of that back room. They're getting noisy. See? I've learned a few things from my foes over the years.
Can you please name this new story as well? I don't like being filed under "side story."
Now get off the forums and finish writing my story!
-AJ
43,435 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 19 27
Dear Brina,
--You don't mind if I call you that, right? That's what your friends call you and I'd like to get in on the ground floor on this friend business, before you forget how much you like me....Please do not make me carry around the Traveling Shovel of Death. I am not a hero. I'd much rather stay in Tolemac with Fergus than go rescue Mallory. Let Hector do that. Or even Virote do it. I don't care. I just want to stay home. It'd be even better if one of those guys brings Mallory back for me.
Yours truly,
----------Colby
brianna, everyone, even characters, have problems.
but mine seem to have a lot.
at least yours aren't gruesome, destructive, or morbid.
...sometimes they are...
1,380 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 20 32
Dear "Dragon,"
While I liked New Orleans better, I'll unhappily settle for Florida. As long as I have my dog Queen Bethesda of the Holy Kingdon of Dogdom, I'll be fine. And Darla, bring her back and we're square pieces, yagetthat? As for the necklace, make sure it's worth my time. I refuse to be accused of stealing costume jewelry, it's below a master thief [ex-thief ;) ] like myself.
Develop the hotel and the staff, would ya? I want room service. And maid service. And laundry service. And dog walkers. Neither of us remember the folks from last time, except the hotel manager wasn't all that bright. And thank you for giving me the head job this time. That plot last time with the, I'll be nice and say "female dog" for a boss, not cool, 'k?
While I am feeling tougher and more sarcasteec (sic) this time around, I'm still at heart nice and sensitive, if marred by seven rough years in prison. Remember that too. And Rock, we need to hate each other more the first time around. I'm an ex-con, he's a cop. Go figure.
Last note, you're using a fake name now. Good stuff, next lesson is housebreaking with low security in place. I'll remember that you're not-
Just kiddin',
Drake Muldoon
----------22,781 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 20 47
Dear Writer,
Please let me know whether or not you plan on poisoning my dog in this new story, so I can look up directions to the emergency vet's office in advance.
And I'll get around to telling Raye. Making it the last scene in the novel would be poignant. Just a suggestion.
Sean
Dear Writer,
FYI: I like Sean and all, but I will not hesitate to stick my fork in his leg if he keeps being so sickeningly obvious about checking out my sister during that Easter dinner you have planned.
Vinny
Dear Writer,
I don't like being on stage. Why do you keep putting me on stage? In our last novel, you had me kidnapped and held captive in a serial killer's basement, and then made me miscarry on top of it. Can I sit out the church performances just this once?
Evelyn
Dear Writer,
Sean needs to keep his hands away from my cookies, he's allergic to peanuts, for crying out loud. And tell Vinny to stop looking so nauseous when Sean kisses me goodbye, otherwise I'm going to start making out with him during Easter dinner, in front of everyone and the ham.
Raye
----------Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia. ~E.L. Doctorow
Help NaNoWriMo win $10,000!
76,882 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 20 52
Dear Emily,
Woman! Stop calling me by my last name! Call me K or at least Konstantin like most people would. Why do you call me Ushakov all the time? No one in the book calls me that.
Something I've been wanting to know for a long time......... why in all that is good in this world did you make every first born male in my family have the same name? If you knew anything about Russia you would've tried something else. How the hell is my family supposed to talk to me? Russian middle names are merely taking the father's or mother's first name! Not helpful.
I would like to add here thanks for letting me be a total geek and live out my dream of traveling to another planet. But, did you really have to make me a loner? I'm good looking, I play sports but my "dark secret" really has to stop me from enjoying the girls wanting to date me? Can you give me some friends beyond my cat? Don't get me wrong, I love Indy. Just think about it.
..........
Am I really traveling to another planet in a Barns and Noble uniform? Can't you wait ot send me there after I get home? No? Didn't think so.
K
----------2007: Melvin and Are's Epic Adventure (52K)
2008: Locked Doors (71K)
2009: A Journey Off World
27,124 / 50,000
oct. 6, 2009 - 22 09
Hey. Yuuki.
Naaaame meeeee. Or I - I won't tell you about how I'm different from the other people with my abilities!
-FMC
Yuuki,
What the -bleep- is up with this? She's a mopey, depressing little punk. Can you at least make her really cute? I mean, if I have to fall in love with her, she better be good-looking. You know? Oh, and a name would be nice. And a car. I want a black jeep. And a better-paying job. Come on, get to work. You're like, the author, right? It's your fault my life sucks. It's not my responsibility. You break it, you buy it. So fix things.
-MMC
My Dearest Darlingest Yuuki:
Egads! I see you've chosen to write me into a story. A stoooory. How simply MARVELOUS. I shall henceforth give you royal pardon for your crimes! What's that? You haven't done anything? Nonsense! What about crimes of the HEART?
Love,
The Prince
101,327 / 50,000
oct. 7, 2009 - 00 02
Hey Kelly,
I don't want to be some prissy, girl, you hear me? I am a lot tougher then you think I am and if you don't write me this way, I'll haunt you in your dreams.
By the way, love your hair!
Love,
Chloe
Dear Chloe,
----------Isn't that what you're doing already?
Love,
Kelly
2007 - Food for Jackals - Win 62k!
2008 - Paper Cuts & Coffee Stains - Win 51k!
2009 - Shadow Walker - Win! 101k! Biggest Win Yet!
30,674 / 50,000
oct. 7, 2009 - 01 19
Dear Kat,
Oh My God! She’s really real? It wasn’t just a dream? Wow…she’s beautiful. I. Have. To. Meet. Her. You have to….HAVE to let us be together! And can you make sure that Marcus keeps his scruffy, mangy claws off her? Seriously. I WILL KILL HIM! Please tell me he dies in the end. If you let him live I will never speak to you again.
(Sigh) Ok, seriously…let’s sit down and talk soon. I have got to explain the details of my world so you don’t screw it up…before November. I know you like to procrastinate. That’s why I’m bugging you now. I’ve been patient for years now, waiting for you to write about me and my family. I let you into my world, its up to you to do something with it.
Impatiently waiting to chat,
Rhys A. McKade
Dear Kat,
You can’t be serious! He’s arrogant and pig headed, stubborn and moody and childish and secretive…I don’t care if he’s the most handsome man I’ve ever seen... (me: Yeah…uhuh…right.) I DO NOT! Besides I have a good thing with Jesse. I’ve know him forever and he’s sweet, he’s respectful, he’s cute, he’s my best friend, he…(me: He’s BORING!) I choose Jesse damn it! You can’t do this to me! What kind of a name is Rhy’s anyway? And isn’t he with that snotty Vanessa? Why does she think she’s so much better than me ? What’s with that? What’s she got that I don’t? Make her leave me alone. WHY did you let him tie me to the BED of all things? Let me go HOME! You’re as bad as Rhys!
Contemplating killing you both!:
Celeste
( I wrote one to them in the other post: Authors letters to the Character)
----------Blessings,
Kat
1,844 / 50,000
oct. 7, 2009 - 02 41
Jaiden,
Why don't we have an outline yet?
From
All your possible NaNo characters
35,000 / 50,000
oct. 7, 2009 - 06 44
Dear Author,
----------What the heck do you think you're doing? This is the third plot you've placed me in and you are still going to stick me somewhere else?! Come on! Just be satisfied and build up one plot! I mean, seriously. Am I going to be downsized even more in the next story. So far I've gone from being the main to being a secondary character.
Who are we kidding? You don't know what you are doing. Well f--. I'm really screwed now, aren't I?
-Daniel
48,036 / 50,000
oct. 7, 2009 - 06 50
Dear Kat,
First, thanks for finally giving me my story. I know it was really hard to let go of writing the others for a while, but really, I just need to tell my story. I mean, it's timely that you're doing volunteer work and you're writing about me, and well, my very lovely neighborhood.
That being said, please please don't have everyone call me Joshee. It's just Josh, by the way. I'm already eighteen, not twelve anymore. And please don't let Marce kill me when she finds out that I did have a crush on her.
Regards,
Joshua
Kat,
I'm glad you didn't inflict as much damage on me as you originally planned to as a sequel to your 2008 NaNo. And I'm thankful that you convinced Joshee to be the one to man the volunteer center this year, not me. But really, I think that getting AH1N1, having my ribs broken, surviving the mother of all typhoons, and having me do my THESIS all in one school year is a bit much. Not to mention that you had me fall in love with Ida too. That woman is impossible.
As usual,
Mark L.
Kat,
I'm serious: you even managed to make Ced, Mark, and the entire lot likeable. But why does MY cyclothymia have to feature in this story?!
Ida
----------My heart, my life, my praise is all for You
44,012 / 50,000
oct. 7, 2009 - 07 37
Dear Fini,
What were you thinking? I can deal with fighting with my parents, the drug abuse, the arrest, and going through the rehab from hell, but why am I returning to help the psycho who put me through the rehab from hell? I'd much rather kill him and get it over with. Please? I'll even be willing to go to jail if I can just kill him. And dear God, I REFUSE to get involved with him. You might as well forget it.
Sincerely,
Sophie
Dear Ms. Nevermore,
I highly appreciate that you have deigned to let me live in your novel, as up until a few days ago, I was doomed to death. However, I would like to be left alone after being threatened with my own revolver and having the residents of the center escape. Specifically, Sophia Reynolds is one of the most annoying women I have ever met in my life. I am happy that she is leaving and taking her insipid friends with her. Does she have to return? And I hardly foresee a future, even in another life, where I would be involved in any kind of romantic relationship with her. Please reconsider this plot point and revise it.
Respectfully yours,
----------Lincoln Bates
"The man who has no imagination has no wings."
-Muhammad Ali